Addicted for life.

Stick around man. 51 years of PMO or your life altogether?
I'm 43 and spent a good 25-30 years into the porn/masturbation endless loop. Then it becomes an issue with the girlfriends-wives too. Its possible to get out of that trust me!
You are in the right place. Getting rid of the bad behavior is only the first step, as you also need to replace bad habits by good ones.

watch this old classic, its a great start.

 

Welcome to the forum... you are never too old to change. I'm 43 years old myself and thought that I would die with this addiction. I had been addicted for over 25 years and thought that change was impossible. Our addiction makes us feel weak and hopeless - that it how it keeps us enslaved. You have woken up... your legs may be wobbly... but soon you will be able to walk with your head held high. Feel free to start a journal in the 'Ages 40+' folder to track your progress, vent your feelings, ask questions, or look for advice. I wish you success on your journey.

 

@claw72816 I will quote @i_wanna_get_better1 because there is no way for me to say it any better than this: "Addicts use porn to alter, medicate, numb, sooth, or escape from negative emotions. The more you PMO to deal with stress the more your brain learns to depend upon it. It doesn't learn any other way to deal with stress. When you orgasm the body releases opioid like chemicals that calms the body down, which is perfect for dealing with stress and anxiety. But it is not true comfort. It is a fleeting feeling, and often the negative feelings come back even worse. The sooner you decide to change, the easier it is to cut it out of your life."

You have to stay strong, I know hard it can be from time to time but it will get better.

 

I just joined today and noticed your profile...I'm 51 and have been looking at porn since I found my first Swedish Erotica magazine in my neighbors garbage when I was in 6th grade. I have tried stopping dozens of times...accumulated gigs of porn, deleted it all, and re-accumulated it again. Honestly don't know where to go from here. If you're going through the same thing, perhaps we can support each other. I've been married for 30 years and my wife has absolutely no idea this is going on. I literally have nobody I can talk to about this...I know you just joined, so let me know how you're doing and what things are working for you, if anything.

 

We are in this together friend and your words are encouraging better choices make for better life you said? I'm 21 and you spoke life into me from that. I struggle too 8years started from 12 lets quit and fight together all of us I love NoFap
-(day 1)

 

Thanks for the reply. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I'm 51, married almost 30 years. Been looking at porn everyday since I was 15. I am self employed in a small office so I find myself alone a lot...first thing in the morning and after 5. Those are my regularly scheduled times to look at porn. During the day I spend quite a bit of time (with my staff here) downloading porn from various sites to the many huge hard drives I have. They always complain how slow the internet is, but have no idea it's because I'm downloading 3 or 4 scenes at a time. I live close to my office, so I'll make special trips in on Saturday and Sunday just to look at porn...I feel like a heroin addict who needs a fix so I can go on with my day. Unlike you, my wife has absolutely no clue about my issue, (I'm very good at hiding it). I suffer from every symptom described as a result of excessive porn and masturbation....lack of motivation, brain fog, lack of interest in my wife (who by the way, is very attractive). As far as she knows, my sex drive is lower because I'm getting older...little does she know I satisfy myself at least twice a day if not more. Today for example, my assistant is on vacation and my other employees have the day off so I'm alone in the office all day in front of a monitor...it'll be very challenging later today. Yesterday I deleted my entire stash once again...almost a terabyte of porn...all my favorites are deleted and the recycle bin emptied. I would really like to get through this withdrawal period, so hopefully you and I can help each other. Thanks for listening.

 

I don't know if you know the ancient Greek myth of Sisyphus, but I want to offer a different perspective on that myth. Sisyphus was a man condemned to push a rock up a hill. As soon as he got to the top of a hill, it would fall back down and he would have to push it back up again, over and over again, for eternity.

For most people, Sisyphus represents a life that we don't want.

But, I heard another perspective (I think it came from Jocko Willink) on the Sisyphus myth. He argued that each time Sisyphus rolled that rock up the hill, he gained muscle, willpower, and discipline. He ultimately will win in the end because he did one thing with a singular focus.

So I challenge you to not focus on how many times you have to pick yourself up. Focus on what you're building when you pick yourself up. One thing that I noticed while doing NoFap challenges is that my mindset toward masturbation and porn changed even when I "messed up". Each time I got back up, I found that my streaks were longer. First, it was one day. Then, three days, Then, five days and onward. Although I had times when I regressed, the trend was that I was engaging in masturbation and porn less than I previously did.

That was the key. I was slowly winning the war.

I challenge you to look at what you are doing in a similar light. You may lose a "battle" here and there, but the trend ("the war") is that you are pursuing awesome-aligning your body and mind to match the new "you".

Keep pursuing.

Your story is helping more than just you.

 

You can't beat yourself up about relapsing...just put it behind you and move on. I've tried quitting for years and years all by myself with absolutely no success, so the fact you made it 16 days is great. Just go for at least 17 next time and your making progress. So far, I've abstained for 4 days, 19 hours. I can't even imagine making it 16 days. Stay strong this week!

 

Hey guys, another long timer here. 56 and been at it since I found my first Playboy on the side of the road in my teens. Progressed from there with technology. Figured this habit has cost me $1000's in lost opportunity. Married twice, great kids. Tried a couple of times, but this time made some serious prep actions. Major file deletions, and network nannies in place. Travel is the big worry for me, but one day at a time...