Addicted since I was 12 and now it's time to close the darkest cycle of my life (i'm latino, sorry f

Hello, dear fellow fighters. This is my testimony of how PMO ruined my life. I remember being bullied since I was little because of my sexual orientation (I am gay), as time passed I became depressed and took on new anxieties regarding the outside world. I remember in my early teens (when I was maybe 12 years old) I discovered under my brother's bed, an XXX movie, and since then I discovered PMO. When everyone was leaving, I took refuge in my brother's room to console myself by watching the erotic scenes. After time passed, the harassment continued and every time I consumed more porn and masturbated once or twice a day. It was, so to speak, my refuge. Then the internet went crazy, it grew and we all got reach of it. The darkest time of my life began.

They bought me a laptop and I started consuming porn like crazy and jerking off more and more. That was my life, my vicious circle to which I always went.

At 19 I had my first sexual encounter: I got horny, it got hard while I was doing oral sex and suddenly I stood up (it was time to put the condom on) and when I stood up my erection started to go down, so much I couldn't even put the condom on. A disaster, I felt very embarrassed. This was the first time, the second, the third, and the few times when I decided to have a sexual encounter with someone. All a failed attempt. Sometimes the most I would do was to masturbate imagining porn scenes, and since sometimes we would go to a car-hotel, we would watch porn while we masturbated and he would give me oral sex. Erections were never good. I felt like a weirdo.

I could never have a sexual relationship with someone, much less a romantic relationship. I felt like a mess.

This year I discovered NoFap, and I realized what the problem was to solve: put aside pornography and masturbation. I started January but I didn't know much about it: I thought it was worth it to finish (I didn't know that term until recently when I discovered it), I masturbated and didn't end up looking at photos of people on FB that they sent me to private. The point is that in that month I had a sexual encounter with someone and it got harder than normal and I was able to penetrate, but the erection maybe 60% and sometimes I had to stimulate myself to make it hard again (Eye, that's when I did finishing up and looking at big asses and huge lumps on TikTok).

I have a streak of a month totally clean in Hard Mode. I have had an erection that I have never felt in my life, finally, I am getting 100 erections. Hard as a rock and in the morning it takes my erection to go down. I sometimes take photos and videos because I am so happy to see this type of erection in me that I have never had. I am excited to see my penis so alive. (I must clarify at this point that before, even when I masturbated, I could only maintain my erection on my side, on a spoon, so to speak. If I lay on my back or if I stood up, my erection would go down). Now when I wake up I'm hard on my back, on my side, on my feet, anyway.

I know I'm just getting started, but I know since I said "I'm 25 years old and I couldn't waste any more time of my life on something as pathetic as self-indulgence with people I don't know and surreal scenes, huge penises, perfect asses. Fuck, Ragell, the people out there are imperfectly perfect. They're not like the ones in those videos, they're even better - they're real. " And here I am, I swear I'm trying, I'm trying to get out of this shit and put PMO in the past.

This year I am sure that I will not have encounters with anyone, I will dedicate myself to healing the parts that the PMO damaged. The other year, God permitting, I will or will find the man of my dreams. It may be that the love of my life is in Guatemala, or outside my country, but I am sure that just as I am healing for myself and for my future partner, he is also healing for him and for me. I know that sooner or later we will meet and enjoy our lives together.



****What I have been doing and can help others who suffer from weak erections, as in my case****:



1. On an empty stomach, after meditating, I eat garlic .

2. At noon, I have a watermelon smoothie with the white rind.

3. At lunch I implement broccoli.

4. I sleep from 9:20 pm to 5:00 am.

5. I exercise (I have been in the fitness world for five years) and I am seeing that in this short time my muscle is growing.

6. I read every day about the Reboot (YBOP, Soaring Eagle), I read testimonials on Reddit, YBOP, and so on. I like to see how people change their lives, and it motivates and encourages me.



***** Benefits I have seen in this short time ******:



1. More encouragement, more energy and more motivation

2. Sometimes I wake up with a very hard penis, and my erection does not go down in 15-20 minutes.

3. Sometimes I get erections during the day and I can keep them on my feet.

4. I don't have many sexual fantasies.

5. More time to spend with college, friends and family



Without further ado, I will update as time passes.
And may God give us a lot of strength to get out of this vice.

 

[QUOTE = "louisbidr, publicación: 2932810, miembro: 432737"] Hola, tengo curiosidad, ¿escondes las erecciones en público, como en momentos inapropiados? [/ QUOTE]

Trato de disimular, pero a veces es imposible, no se me baja tan rápido la erección.