Addicted to addicitons

Watch this video. Take in the good stuff. Filter out the stuff you think is bad/wrong.

Good Luck Mate

 

sure if we have fallen to fapping for most of our lives, then we have an addictive personality maybe? My grand-grandfather, grandfather, and father are alcoholics, my father has a twin brother who is also alcoholic, I on the other hand don't want to drink, but I'm addicted to porn, been addicted to video games. So i gues its the personality type, the only choice if it's impossible to break through the addiction is to get addicted to something positive I guess.

It's a shame that after such a long time you have problems, but at least you noticed them and are trying to take an action, which is as good as it can get. If only you will try to tackle them with the same strength as you fought NoFap, you can do this.

 

Hey Cud,

I can only think about the mental condition you are in.

I might not be a pro preacher but just check it out. I might be wrong, I might be right.

You still need her or think that you need her because she must have filled a hole in your heart. Your happiness must have have depended on her actions and thoughts. Any relationship in such a way is never going to last. You cannot feed off her energy levels and happiness. Start giving more. When you learn to fill your cup, you would not be sad if someone left you or if someone is with you. This is a hard thing to do, but it is also a wise thing to do.

I know this is going to be a hard thing to do, but i suppose you should get into the field and start gaming. Burn your ego, heck even cry in front a girl. But you need to get over it. Burn your ego. Struggle through the pain. Then rise like a king. Accept the thoughts that come into your mind. Embrace them. If you want to think about her, then do it. CRY a river. Let the pain run its course. But once you've gone through it do not get into this process again. Its a waste of time.

You think she is good for you because she might have made you happy. But a real woman does not need to take care of his man. The man supplies the emotions, the woman enjoys the journey and aids in his success.

Good Luck to you mate

 

In your list, I see a list of fears.

Fear of being alone, fear of criticism, fear of silence, fear of going forward ...

Whenever you try to do something new, you need to pass the border of your comfortzone.
The name of this border is "fear".
It is an area of the uncertain and the unknown.
When you fap, it means to go back.

The idea is that you learn to deal with the fears. And to go on despite the fears.
This is a progress. It goes step by step.

 

By gaming I mean hard cold approach pick up. Not just to have sex with a stranger, but rather to share a connection. It will rewire your brain. It will help you get back your life in ways you don`t know. I know this sounds like bullshit but trust me. Putting your self in hard situations improves your RAS-system of the brain. It helps you get through stuff.

If I was on your place, I would call her, wish her for her birthday. I would make sure that I do not put out to her as being in need of her. Yes, if you could work things out it would be great but neediness is not the way to go.

Start thinking about other ares of your life that you want to improve.

Start living in abundance. The first step to do that is a positive mindset. Be it with girls, be it with money or with life, think and feel that your`re in abundance and you`ll keep manifesting.

Along with that keep up your nofap and workout routine. Add in meditation. See if cold approach pick up helps you. Travel, give back to the world, help a friend. If you are so crazy behind her, study female psychology and then get her( I know this sounds crazy).

 

Try to be thankful for the JOY you have experienced.
Try to be thankful for the EXPERIENCE you have made.
If you would never have met her, your life would have been dull and flat.

And believe me, you really really need to forget her and to go your own way.
When you "chase" a woman, she never comes back.

You need to go your very own way. Then you are stable, and then you also become an interesting person.

 

Recticular Activation System. It's a part of the brain. Ever felt really uncomfortable or unstable when a hot girl talks to you? Or just like the way you had to talk to your boss. Maybe you must have started to sweat or something of that sort. RAS-system is the cause of that. So the more you strengthen and give it stimuli, it gets stronger. This is also the part of the brain that helps you make quick decisions. ps-meditation helps to strengthen it as well.

 

Yes buddy, congratz! We can do this, keep going

 

hey man! I like this thread, glad to see all the posts because I also some sort of online relationship and then she left...i needed moving on too!

 

Fuck yes!

 

Cud, I deeply empathize with your situation since I've been through many of the same emotions. Here are my 2 cents. Some of this is tough medicine- I'm not saying I am able to follow it hundred percent myself but I know there's wisdom in it.
1) the fact that you feel deeply for your ex is a good thing, and that you wish her well is noble, and that you want a complete connection of love before you have sex is sensible. This is your heart- listen to it. There's a lot of cynical pick up crap out there that is soul-deadening and you'll waste a lot of time in your growth process going down that road. But, while all the I mentioned is good, you just have to accept that a relationship with a woman, any woman, however wonderful is NEVER going to make you perfectly happy all the time. A relationship is a life experience like any other- it will have pleasure and pain. It has to be skillfully managed. It teacher us to control our emotions and drives for the greater good. Excitement and infatuation last at most a few y

 

Oops sorry -that went out sooner than I intended. As I was saying, excitement and infatuation in a relationship last at most a few years. Then you have to live with this person,with all their pluses and minuses. Talk to your married friends- for most people it is no cakewalk. At times when you see the girl you adore so much in an angry mood as a termagant, and you're facing a divorce, you'll really wonder what attracted you to her in the first place. Been there done that. but I am not cynical. Marriage is a good thing- it makes you grow. After all that I still fell in love with another woman- very deeply. Some of this is deeply ingrained in us.
2) Romantic love is only one kind of love, highly unreliable and over-glamorized by the media so we all think this is the only shit out there. Love takes many forms. THere is love of parent for child, platonic love between two friends of the same gender, love for people you may share a hobby with. EXPAND your notion of love. Don't compress it to one person. That is terribly limiting.
3) To receive love you must first be prepared to give twice as much.
4) If you truly love someone you must be prepared to set them free and let them go seek their true bliss. You will only have the courage to do this if you know where true bliss is. It is inside YOU. It is not outside.
Although I was raised a Hindu I know Jesus Christ said 'The kingdom of God is within" - not without. There is great truth in that statement.
5) All our experiences with romantic love are only teaching us to tap into ourselves and explore and know our deepest innermost recesses to answer the fundamental question "Who am I"? The answer to that in all the faith traditions is given. So cultivating one's spirituality, faith, or religious side- call it what you want- getting in touch with the real You, or placing faith in God (same thing really), will teach that relying on someone external for happiness is not a sound plan for continuing peace and bliss in life. Not saying people are not important, but if you are grounded deeply in yourself and truly giving, you'll find beautiful people of all types flocking to you, rather than us chasing them.
Just my personal opinion. Good luck!
YB