Addicted to Chat Sites and Mutual Masterbation 2 str8 porn

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Devilinme2, Oct 22, 2021.

  1. Devilinme2

    Devilinme2 Fapstronaut

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    Im 50 and I think I finally figured out my true addiction. I used to think it was constantly masterbating looking at porn pics and vids (usually of teasingly dressed 18 yr old models). But now I think I am addicted to other perverts likeminded like me…I find myself on chat sites and I spend countless hours waiting and hoping I basically find someone who is myself.. the idea that someone on the other end is looking at that same pic or vid and sexually describing fantasies about what we are seeing seems intoxicating to me. So can an addiction actually be to other perverts or is it a hidden loneliness that I’m needing? Does this make sense to anyone ?
     
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  2. Maybe it is you are seeking connection and intimacy. In my case it was. Merely porn was never my main addiction. I needed interaction. Attended CoDA and SLAA meetings. But then ... it could also be that once addicted we are somehow, or rather the brain is somehow looking for a (new) kick, a rush, something to hunt for, wait for, hoping to get, hoping to find, that all activate the dopamine system.
    We cannot wrestle a problem to the ground. And from my experience I can say that it is not this or that, it is this and that. So, at the end of an addict's day what's best to do is to stop it all. Does this make sense to you?
     
    Akbarmagnus likes this.
  3. Devilinme2

    Devilinme2 Fapstronaut

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    It makes sense but what outlet does a single older male in later years in life when relationship is not wanted nor desired ?
     
    Spontifex likes this.
  4. Good question. Would you say then that getting addicted to chat sites looking for other guys in the same situation is the only alternative you have? How do you know that relationship is not wanted nor desired? You already know all the possible partners out there?
    Coping with loneliness is not easy but then coping with loneliness AND dealing with addiction at the same time makes it even worse. So, no addictive behavior can be a good alternative. Sounds like you are hosting your own pity party. What could you do instead that is empowering and bringing you joy?
     
  5. Things like chat and P are not really "outlets", they're addictive drugs really.

    Doing interesting things, or things which are in some way satisfying, is the best alternative. This doesn't always have to involve a lot of effort, you can just do a lot of reading, listening to podcasts and so on. But he's hobbies etc. are great too.

    Of course avoiding all M and O (as well as P and chat obviously) does get difficult at times. You could consider allowing an occasional MO. It can be a bit of a slippery slope back to worse things though. I haven't figured it all out yet.
     
  6. Devilinme2

    Devilinme2 Fapstronaut

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