Addicted to Incest Porn and then Incest Literature/stories

S

sjaltern

New Fapstronaut
Hi. I hope this post is not triggering to anyone. I tried to tone down the language as much as possible. I'm writing this because I really need to get it off my chest and I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences and have successfully overcome it.

I would like to state that I am not sexually attracted to any of my family relatives. It is the idea of incest and other people committing it that arouses me.

Basically the past few years I would only watch incest porn videos, 90% would be mother/son videos. Its only the kind of porn I can get off to.
We all know they are fake. Most of the time they are just actors.
I would quit for periods of time. But you know how the brain rationalizes a behavior. So I would tell myself I can just read erotic stories instead because "they can't be as bad watching videos".

Boy was I wrong. First it was fictional literature but eventually I moved on to real life stories. Some of them are very detailed and extreme. They have my adrenaline pumping like crazy. Usually when I watch a video I would masturbate to it and then forget about it and do something else. But these stories linger in my head long afterwards. I can't stop thinking about it. I would masturbate to it 4-5 times in a day to a story. It feels so wrong but arousing.
My mind is messed up now. I would have fantasies about partaking in sex with mother/son couples and encouraging a mother to have sex with her son. They are only fantasies and I don't intend to act on them.
Its like a different kind of drug compared to conventional video pornography, I guess because it stimulate other parts of the brain.
I'm curious if a reboot will be effective in my scenario and if they are any additional ways I can deal with it.

Sorry for the long first post and thank you for taking the time for reading it.
 
sjaltern said:
Hi. I hope this post is not triggering to anyone. I tried to tone down the language as much as possible. I'm writing this because I really need to get it off my chest and I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences and have successfully overcome it.

I would like to state that I am not sexually attracted to any of my family relatives. It is the idea of incest and other people committing it that arouses me.

Basically the past few years I would only watch incest porn videos, 90% would be mother/son videos. Its only the kind of porn I can get off to.
We all know they are fake. Most of the time they are just actors.
I would quit for periods of time. But you know how the brain rationalizes a behavior. So I would tell myself I can just read erotic stories instead because "they can't be as bad watching videos".

Boy was I wrong. First it was fictional literature but eventually I moved on to real life stories. Some of them are very detailed and extreme. They have my adrenaline pumping like crazy. Usually when I watch a video I would masturbate to it and then forget about it and do something else. But these stories linger in my head long afterwards. I can't stop thinking about it. I would masturbate to it 4-5 times in a day to a story. It feels so wrong but arousing.
My mind is messed up now. I would have fantasies about partaking in sex with mother/son couples and encouraging a mother to have sex with her son. They are only fantasies and I don't intend to act on them.
Its like a different kind of drug compared to conventional video pornography, I guess because it stimulate other parts of the brain.
I'm curious if a reboot will be effective in my scenario and if they are any additional ways I can deal with it.

Sorry for the long first post and thank you for taking the time for reading it.
Click to expand...


Typically it goes like this
You get aroused and initially you resit it and this may go on for some time and then eventually you give in and go full out.
When you are edging and aroused, you feel great and it is typical to have all sorts of fantasies. Usually these stories build around something forbidden, having sex with friend, relative, sister, brother etc
These ideas elicit strong emotional repose which increases arousal, but you do not feel the emotional impact because you are pretty much mentally impaired when you feel strong pleasure.
When sexually aroused you may feel fine thinking about doing things you would normally find repulsing and this just shows what arousal and pleasure does to you - you become very flexible and accepting, you are basically in trance.

This ability to let go an accept, is exactly what lets us accept and enjoy the messy process of sexual activity.

Men experience very abrupt transformation after orgasm - dopamine levels drop sharply and rational brain begins to work as usual almost immediately following orgasm, which means men experience what feels like a mini depression in mood, which is why men often feel guilt and shame if they do not rationally support what they were thinking about, or doing. I think biological reason behind this is to get male back to being able to think and act rationally as soon as possible for safety, while female enjoys more gradual cool down.
To compensate for drop in mood and make sure male does not breakdown in tears following orgasm body releases flood of endorphins and ton of other things, that make individual feel good and have calming effect.

I explained this because when you are aroused you may want to "fuck the door" and it would seem like a good idea when you are aroused, and you would be surprised what people do when they are aroused and you would be even more surprised about what they think. Feeling aroused is being in trance with limited rational thought ability, lack of emotion and judgement, and you should understand and accept this.

Otherwise I have same advice as usual, do not use pornography or masturbation for prolonged pleasure, do not keep extending and extending your session. And remember after orgasm you will be very rational with full self control.
 
Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing your story.
What you described is similar for most of us, it is escalation over time and can lead us in different directions. Yours led into this genre but you can recover. Time away from porn will help get your mind back to where it was before and these things will fade.
 
Welcome sjaltern,

I have pretty much the exact same experience as you but the other way around - I first discovered erotic stories about my fetish which then led to pictures and then finally the videos in all their extreme forms.

The good news is that you can recover but keep away from these at all costs.

The more times you view them the longer it will take to erase from memory.

P.S here's a good thread for newbies
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/in-case-you-didnt-know.84619/
 
Keep yourself occupied. If any urge to watch it appear, go for a walk outside or read a book that you like. It may not be easy to overcome this situation, but with time this drive for porn will disappear gradually. Good luck by the way.
 
You're not alone there mate.

For me incest porn (Be it Videos/Games/Comics) was one of the major ones I was addicted to, After a while it affected me too.

But that for me was when I thought "right enough is enough" and I just stopped (Everything). I'm on Day 6 of Nofap and I'll be honest it's toned way the hell down on that front.

Just be strong and muscle through it.
 
I noticed more and more that incest is becoming one of the main 'plot' points in porn. The 'random' page on the site I visited was at least 30-40% incest related videos. Knowing a bit more about how these sites are driven by algorithms, I was really struggling to comprehend why there's such a push from the porn industry to establish this perversion as a major fantasy in the world.

The conclusion that I've drawn is this- of course there's a huge drive to establish these horrible perversions in the mind of the consumer; it fuels the guilt and shame which is a major driving force in becoming addicted to pornography. On a deeper, more fundamental level though, I feel that it's being done to trap more girls in the industry.

It's reasonable to imagine that the majority of women drawn to being porn stars are acting out on some kind of sustained sexual trauma. Re-victimisation is a key component of complex trauma, ie, unconsciously seeking out scenarios in which the trauma is relived.
I'm also of the belief that a lot of these women grew up being abused by family members, including step-family members- there's one porn star in particular I'm thinking of whose career has been orchestrated and steered by her parents, to the point of her father being present at shoots. It's so horrible that one wants to deny it, but that just blatantly illustrates that this man has abused his daughter for her entire life, to the point of then trafficking her into the porn industry and conditioning her to believe that it's her choice to do so.

I believe that the incest category is being trumped up via algorithm, exposing as many people as possible to something which makes them feel horrible and thereby continue to seek it out and go darker and deeper with it, in order to maximise demand and the supply of young women who have been abused in exactly that manner. They then act it out, quite literally, and become more and more degraded and dehumanised.

Step-parents, siblings etc watch this shit, become addicted to it, get it into their heads to seduce family members, do so, cause untold hurt and trauma, the victims then grow up to unconsciously seek out that kind of abuse, answer an ad for a 'modelling' job which they know in their heart of hearts has nothing to do with modelling, do a scene, get caught up in it and so it continues.

The best we can do as individuals is refuse to participate in this vile culture of abuse. It actually makes it harder for a while, it did for me anyway, but the best thing I've ever done is really concentrate on the reality that even by viewing tube sites with this material, it is profiting the site owners via ads etc and driving up the demand for videos of people being sexually abused; for exclusively watching videos of women who are in the process of being broken down and sold into sexual slavery. As a consequence it is increasing the amount of young people being sexually abused within the family unit.

It is REALLY difficult when you relapse on that category once you know what you're watching; I have zero interest in incest but for some reason (my points above are probably pretty accurate,) it seems that only the cutest girls are being coerced into acting in those scenes- so I ended up consuming it by proxy. The times I've relapsed since becoming aware of that have filled by with the greatest sense of self-loathing I have ever experienced... But they were crucial in coming to the standpoint that I have now-- that I will no longer support this industry which is nothing but filmed instances of what I believe is rape.
Sure these girls 'agree' to starring in it, but I believe with all of my heart that the circumstances which lead them to that point in the first place are outside of their conscious control.
 
You should stop it now. It could bring you down the rabbit hole. You say you don't find your female relatives attractive. What if the porn changes your brain? What if you get the desire to sleep with your mother o_O
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
You should stop it now. It could bring you down the rabbit hole. You say you don't find your female relatives attractive. What if the porn changes your brain? What if you get the desire to sleep with your mother o_O
Click to expand...

What kind of advice is this? You seem to be saying “just say no.”

Are you threatening him with fear ? Does that work in your case ?
 
TimeToQuitNow said:
Are you going to give advice? Because it looks like you are only criticizing what I have to say. If you have something more productive to share by all means let us know
Click to expand...

Bro, first, I respect you. I have seen your posts and thought you were bold/brave for witnessing especially from a religious perspective where that is dearly needed and you have provided an excellent voice. I think reading this post here just kinda disappointed me to be honest.

In the US, we had a president and his wife who made a slogan: "Just say no."
It was a bumper sticker, and pin, a slogan that was everywhere. It was the infamous "War on Drugs."

We had commercials about what smoking does to your lungs. We had commercials on what drugs do to your brain. All kinds of jarring, sickening scenarios that were meant to be a type of shock and awe campaign.

The images, and overall campaign was a failure. The rates of drug usage did not abate with this strategy. Lots of Netflix shows now help describe the era of the 1980's and 90's under various presidents’ public policy initiative. The point i'm trying to make is--I think the "just say no" campaign, doesn't really encourage anyone. In the same era we had people advocating against Aids in Africa using the same shock-techniques. They also dismally failed.

I am not trying to discourage you--not at all, I'm just like you--waging war on a freaking mortal enemy that I MUST overcome. I just wanted to encourage you that using fear (if you are aiming to do that) in every case is normally a temporary or short-term solution; we are designed to love one another. Parroting "Just stop this or that behavior because (insert-fear-tactic)" is uninspiring words to an addict. Obviously we all want to stop.... :) LOL. Questions are good--and honestly I don't know about your family, but in mine we have lots of cousins that are simply gorgeous, handsome, and beautiful. We say as a family slogan--"we are beautiful."

Love your family. Let Love for yourself, your family, their well-being be what you use to elevate your standards.
 
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sjaltern said:
Hi. I hope this post is not triggering to anyone. I tried to tone down the language as much as possible. I'm writing this because I really need to get it off my chest and I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences and have successfully overcome it.

I would like to state that I am not sexually attracted to any of my family relatives. It is the idea of incest and other people committing it that arouses me.

Basically the past few years I would only watch incest porn videos, 90% would be mother/son videos. Its only the kind of porn I can get off to.
We all know they are fake. Most of the time they are just actors.
I would quit for periods of time. But you know how the brain rationalizes a behavior. So I would tell myself I can just read erotic stories instead because "they can't be as bad watching videos".

Boy was I wrong. First it was fictional literature but eventually I moved on to real life stories. Some of them are very detailed and extreme. They have my adrenaline pumping like crazy. Usually when I watch a video I would masturbate to it and then forget about it and do something else. But these stories linger in my head long afterwards. I can't stop thinking about it. I would masturbate to it 4-5 times in a day to a story. It feels so wrong but arousing.
My mind is messed up now. I would have fantasies about partaking in sex with mother/son couples and encouraging a mother to have sex with her son. They are only fantasies and I don't intend to act on them.
Its like a different kind of drug compared to conventional video pornography, I guess because it stimulate other parts of the brain.
I'm curious if a reboot will be effective in my scenario and if they are any additional ways I can deal with it.

Sorry for the long first post and thank you for taking the time for reading it.
Click to expand...

You are brave for posting you honest struggle. Know that you are not unique. Your struggle is normal. It takes time for the brain to change. The more you can direct your thoughts to other things the better. Meditation is a fantastic way to practice directing thoughts. Most people who try meditation feel like they are failing because they cannot empty their minds. This is missing the point. The purpose of meditation is to practice self compassion. It is to practice gently redirecting your thoughts back to your breathing. Some people like to imagine a brushing their thoughts away with a feather. You can be free of this. If you can stop putting more images in your brain, the ones that are there will fade over time. Someday you will forget almost all of them and the feeling of freedom is immense.
 
need4realchg said:
Bro, first, I respect you. I have seen your posts and thought you were bold/brave for witnessing especially from a religious perspective where that is dearly needed and you have provided an excellent voice. I think reading this post here just kinda disappointed me to be honest.

In the US, we had a president and his wife who made a slogan: "Just say no."
It was a bumper sticker, and pin, a slogan that was everywhere. It was the infamous "War on Drugs."

We had commercials about what smoking does to your lungs. We had commercials on what drugs do to your brain. All kinds of jarring, sickening scenarios that were meant to be a type of shock and awe campaign.

The images, and overall campaign was a failure. The rates of drug usage did not abate with this strategy. Lots of Netflix shows now help describe the era of the 1980's and 90's under various presidents’ public policy initiative. The point i'm trying to make is--I think the "just say no" campaign, doesn't really encourage anyone. In the same era we had people advocating against Aids in Africa using the same shock-techniques. They also dismally failed.

I am not trying to discourage you--not at all, I'm just like you--waging war on a freaking mortal enemy that I MUST overcome. I just wanted to encourage you that using fear (if you are aiming to do that) in every case is normally a temporary or short-term solution; we are designed to love one another. Parroting "Just stop this or that behavior because (insert-fear-tactic)" is uninspiring words to an addict. Obviously we all want to stop.... :) LOL. Questions are good--and honestly I don't know about your family, but in mine we have lots of cousins that are simply gorgeous, handsome, and beautiful. We say as a family slogan--"we are beautiful."

Love your family. Let Love for yourself, your family, their well-being be what you use to elevate your standards.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the praises. I respect you too. Honestly I thought you were attacking me, so I defended myself. I see your point now.

Yea I see where my advice wasn't the best. I do believe in the end of the day we do need to "just say no". Unfortunately that won't work for the addict. It's more complicated then that and we need to attack the root of the problem. Show ourselves love and replace our bad habits with good habits and a healthy lifestyle.

My point wasn't ment to "just say no". It wasn't as in depth or articulate as I normally give. I was just warning him about a serious potential down side from his behaviour. Who wants to fantasize about their own mother? I think it's important to realize this is a real potential possibility when he indulged in the type of porn he does.

God bless you sir
 
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sjaltern said:
Hi. I hope this post is not triggering to anyone. I tried to tone down the language as much as possible. I'm writing this because I really need to get it off my chest and I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences and have successfully overcome it.

I would like to state that I am not sexually attracted to any of my family relatives. It is the idea of incest and other people committing it that arouses me.

Basically the past few years I would only watch incest porn videos, 90% would be mother/son videos. Its only the kind of porn I can get off to.
We all know they are fake. Most of the time they are just actors.
I would quit for periods of time. But you know how the brain rationalizes a behavior. So I would tell myself I can just read erotic stories instead because "they can't be as bad watching videos".

Boy was I wrong. First it was fictional literature but eventually I moved on to real life stories. Some of them are very detailed and extreme. They have my adrenaline pumping like crazy. Usually when I watch a video I would masturbate to it and then forget about it and do something else. But these stories linger in my head long afterwards. I can't stop thinking about it. I would masturbate to it 4-5 times in a day to a story. It feels so wrong but arousing.
My mind is messed up now. I would have fantasies about partaking in sex with mother/son couples and encouraging a mother to have sex with her son. They are only fantasies and I don't intend to act on them.
Its like a different kind of drug compared to conventional video pornography, I guess because it stimulate other parts of the brain.
I'm curious if a reboot will be effective in my scenario and if they are any additional ways I can deal with it.

Sorry for the long first post and thank you for taking the time for reading it.
Click to expand...

First of all welcome to the forum. I don't think the specific genre is the biggest thing in the end, but just so you know you're not alone when I was really in it incest was one of the things I was into also.

One thing that struck me as I read your post though is the fact that all porn viewing is done in the third person - which of course makes it easy to objectify people and sex itself.

But just as with cleaning anything else, you're not necessarily interested in the details of the stuff you're getting rid of when clearing your mind. I do think Dakshinamurti made a good point about how this is likely stemming from trauma though, and as an antidote you might actively read and learn about people suffering from incest related trauma. I live in an area where people are fairly psychologically savvy, but sexual trauma is certainly very deep rooted and it is unfortunately very wide spread. Romanticizing it as these porn productions do is very perverse to say the least.

I think a reboot is the BASIC requirement and people should definitely do more to work on themselves, so some degree of psychological awareness, including awareness of how this kind of stuff causes severe suffering in people is essential. It all starts with appreciating the fact that natural sex is social, IMO, but porn is by nature an objectification. When we objectify something we feel we separate ourselves from it, but what really happens is we are out of touch with reality and we even create a rift within ourselves to make ourselves less than human.

I don't want to write too long a post either but basically I advocate an active approach rather than only abstinence, which I posted about a while back here. There are ways to actively work on undoing how it has messed up your mind and not just wait for a reboot by counting days of abstinence. In fact, you're more likely to be able to sustain a longer period of abstinence if you actively work on yourself.
 
sjaltern said:
Hi. I hope this post is not triggering to anyone. I tried to tone down the language as much as possible. I'm writing this because I really need to get it off my chest and I'm looking for people who have had similar experiences and have successfully overcome it.

I would like to state that I am not sexually attracted to any of my family relatives. It is the idea of incest and other people committing it that arouses me.

Basically the past few years I would only watch incest porn videos, 90% would be mother/son videos. Its only the kind of porn I can get off to.
We all know they are fake. Most of the time they are just actors.
I would quit for periods of time. But you know how the brain rationalizes a behavior. So I would tell myself I can just read erotic stories instead because "they can't be as bad watching videos".

Boy was I wrong. First it was fictional literature but eventually I moved on to real life stories. Some of them are very detailed and extreme. They have my adrenaline pumping like crazy. Usually when I watch a video I would masturbate to it and then forget about it and do something else. But these stories linger in my head long afterwards. I can't stop thinking about it. I would masturbate to it 4-5 times in a day to a story. It feels so wrong but arousing.
My mind is messed up now. I would have fantasies about partaking in sex with mother/son couples and encouraging a mother to have sex with her son. They are only fantasies and I don't intend to act on them.
Its like a different kind of drug compared to conventional video pornography, I guess because it stimulate other parts of the brain.
I'm curious if a reboot will be effective in my scenario and if they are any additional ways I can deal with it.

Sorry for the long first post and thank you for taking the time for reading it.
Click to expand...
I m facing the same problem...exact as yours...
 
Y'all can hate me for this one but I'm just opening up myself to show how odd we humans are when it comes to sexuality.
I was raised uber Christian. My parents made sure I had no idea what sex was. I was so protected, that at the age of 11 I thought kissing was how pregnancy happened and I thought babies were pooped out.
I had never seen a vagina and didnt know it existed.
I thought there was nothing there in the female. Just nothing and then a butthole like mine.
Well i was extremely curious.
I took every opportunity to investigate this incredibly hidden trove.
I can remember lying under the pew at church, "sleeping" and looking up skirts as much as I could.
Then I started putting on my mothers panties and bras and pretending I was a female and fondling myself.
Keep in mind I'm like 6 or 7.
Then after doing this for a while I started peeking under the crack in the bathroom when my mom would take a shower to try to get a look at what was there.
This would get my adrenaline pumping so hard I can remember my breathe getting so short as I tried not to breathe for fear of being caught.
So finally one day i was successful and saw my mother naked.
I became super horny and got off.
I would have dreams of her touching me sexually.
I didnt have any desire like that normally.
Day in day out I just saw my mother. No weirdness.
But it was the drive to see sex. I craved the sex. The drive to see what I couldnt normally have access to.
I don't have a weird relationship with my mom, of course I've never mentioned this odious ode of Oedipus to my mother as how the fuck could she understand.
All I'm saying is incest isnt technically weird.
Were just socially trained to think it is, therefore its kinky.
Thought id share, maybe I shouldnt have.
 
Love life family said:
Y'all can hate me for this one but I'm just opening up myself to show how odd we humans are when it comes to sexuality.
I was raised uber Christian. My parents made sure I had no idea what sex was. I was so protected, that at the age of 11 I thought kissing was how pregnancy happened and I thought babies were pooped out.
I had never seen a vagina and didnt know it existed.
I thought there was nothing there in the female. Just nothing and then a butthole like mine.
Well i was extremely curious.
I took every opportunity to investigate this incredibly hidden trove.
I can remember lying under the pew at church, "sleeping" and looking up skirts as much as I could.
Then I started putting on my mothers panties and bras and pretending I was a female and fondling myself.
Keep in mind I'm like 6 or 7.
Then after doing this for a while I started peeking under the crack in the bathroom when my mom would take a shower to try to get a look at what was there.
This would get my adrenaline pumping so hard I can remember my breathe getting so short as I tried not to breathe for fear of being caught.
So finally one day i was successful and saw my mother naked.
I became super horny and got off.
I would have dreams of her touching me sexually.
I didnt have any desire like that normally.
Day in day out I just saw my mother. No weirdness.
But it was the drive to see sex. I craved the sex. The drive to see what I couldnt normally have access to.
I don't have a weird relationship with my mom, of course I've never mentioned this odious ode of Oedipus to my mother as how the fuck could she understand.
All I'm saying is incest isnt technically weird.
Were just socially trained to think it is, therefore its kinky.
Thought id share, maybe I shouldnt have.
Click to expand...

thanks for sharing man.
 
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