Hello all, I am here to bring light to an issue which has been brought up on this website before, but is also one which I believe to be neglected by the community. Over the past year I have become addicted to Omegle. Sometimes I want to PMO as I usually would, but other times a "higher" urge comes on that is clearly representative of an addiction to the act of cybersex itself. Trying to resist this urge is even harder than resisting the one for regular PMO and I believe it will be the biggest barrier in my hopefully successful attempt of the 90 day challenge (starts today). I truly believe cybersex to be the "hard drug" of porn addiction (for some people of course, obviously not everyone with a porn addiction will fall into this habit). I believe there are two reasons why this happened to me: 1. Previously developed HOCD. I am not attracted to men but have a porn-induced attraction to male genitalia only. This means that the gender ratio (probably 50 men to every 1 woman) on Omegle is not an issue for me in terms of finding arousal - even if what I really want is to find a woman (because the whole reason why I am so hopelessly addicted to the site is because if I can find a woman to have cybersex with me, it serves as affirmation to me that women can possibly find me attractive...which is something I have a very hard time believing due to a general self-hatred that defines my depression/addiction), and therefore I start to lose my erection by not finding one...I can switch "modes" and choose to be aroused by male genitalia, then continue my original search. 2. Possible success. If using the website was an absolute lost cause, I probably would've stopped using it after the second or third time and it never would have become an issue for me. However, though the gender ratio is very bad it is possible for me to have successful cybersex with a woman. Sometimes when this occurs you are both on the same page and you finish together, thus ending the session. However, other times one of you leaves for whatever reason and then - even though you are faced with same search that may have taken 3-4 hours to complete previously - you are "reignited" by the previous experience and thus more likely to lose more precious hours of your life to this wretched website. Whichever of the two cases occurs, the "possible success" of the website means that once you have one cybersex experience, the next time you get the urge to PMO you will consider replacing it with this habit and have the arousing (but truly terribly depressing) memories of the previous experience on your mind. I cannot understate how disgusted, vile, and regretful I feel right now, and after each of my cybersex sessions...The feeling I get after I relapse to regular porn is awful, but this takes me to an absolute self-hatred where I view myself as a disgusting monster or criminal. I feel destroyed as a person and worthless, showing my genitals to everyone on that website searching for some kind of affirmation...what kind of freak am I...There are certain aspect of this habit that have nearly driven me insane and made me feel irredeemable. First of all, there are some sick people on this site that run illegal, violent stuff and even if I click away as soon as I see it nothing can change what I saw. One time I almost vomited as I was using the site. There are also several encounters you have with people where you have reason to believe you are being non-consensually recorded. These are truly awful experiences that have made me consider suicide in the past (I am over that now, I have come to terms with the fact that I did not intentionally seek out these things...looking for cybersex is not a good thing but I did not ask to have these things happen to me, these are the injustices of sick people out there whose crimes I am not responsible for). Even during the times where I have "succeeded" I feel super empty. There is nothing fulfilling about random cybersex to begin with and sometimes when I think of the horrifying experiences I had getting there I wonder how I could have possibly convinced myself to do this in the first place - a worthy question, but that is the nature of addiction. And that is the nature of this habit. The circumstances surrounding it make it extremely intoxicating - it is basically a porn-addict gambling for the biggest possible rush they can find on their computer - and extremely emotionally harmful to the user (me). Obviously the gambling aspect is a big part of it...a few times, I have found a cybersex partner within 20 minutes. This sounds good but is truly the worst case scenario as it heavily motivates a return to the website. The longest stretches of time where I have foregone usage are after a total failure session - where I feel so alone and disgusting that I am able to stop gambling and finish to porn. This usually takes 4-6 hours to occur. That's how addicted I am to this website. I rarely PMO for that long ever. But who knows maybe the next click match me with the most attractive, most willing woman I have ever met with. This is the mindset of despair. I am warning you - if you ever get thoughts to try random camsex, please just PMO instead if you have to and I promise you'll have done yourself a huge favor. --- Well I have put my struggle with cybersex out there for anyone to read. Hopefully I can help someone who was in the same position as me by posting this. You are not alone...but we must quit. It is essential, I can not take any more of these sessions - besides the aforementioned emotional pain they bring - they cut heavily into my responsibilities and motivation and I just can't let myself lose anything more in that regard. I won't let this artificiality ruin my life. I will eliminate and become a pure version of myself. If I don't quit right now I'm gonna lose my whole life to this shit. Drained by digital lust each day until I wither away and die, unfulfilled. My 90 days starts now, and if you are addicted to cybersex, so should yours.