Addicted to Omegle - Please Help Me (TRIGGER WARNING)

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by looking, May 1, 2018.

  1. I am right there with you guys. For me it started with chatting - Chat Avenue was my venue of choice. Then about a month ago I started using the camera feature. I found myself getting so turned on by masturbating on camera. I am heterosexual, but it didnt matter who I stroked for. After a few times doing that I knew I needed help and signed up here. In the moment it was mainlining a drug, showing off on camera fed the pleasure beast.
     
  2. looking

    looking Fapstronaut

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    Interesting that this thread got some new activity today, perhaps it’s fate. Thank you for sharing some of your stories. Makes me feel a little less alone today.

    Today I really hit rock bottom on this site. Let it be known that this site is absolutely poisonous. It will destroy any confidence and dignity you have left in yourself. After PMOing I always felt bad, but the shame I feel using this site (which, despite my efforts, I have always ended up doing about once a week for the past year and a half) is simply unimaginable.

    And I know it sounds ironic. If the shame is so bad, surely I would quit? But I don’t know how to explain it other than that it really is that bad. The level of disgust is extreme, and the urge to use is extreme.

    I won’t go into the details, but what happened to me today is one of those things that can happen on here because you really don’t know who you’re talking to. Nothing like having the rules flipped on you after you’ve already exposed yourself sexually. I feel truly vile, I’m not sure how I will go on and wonder if I’m worth any kind of redemption. Surely I knew this would happen to me eventually, I had a year and a half to quit this site.

    I ask the website owners to please take it down. 15 mins. in the unmoderated section shows there are people doing things on there way worse than trying to masturbate with another consenting adult. And the site owners do nothing to change this.

    After today, I realized that if I don’t quit my shame is going to increase to such an extreme level that I am afraid of what kind of choices it would motivate. So I told my father that my behavior has led me here; once porn wasn’t enough I started having camsex with strangers online. He’s going to help me do whatever it takes to quit. And I’m going to do whatever it takes to quit.

    In the next few weeks I plan on doing therapy, going to confession (haven’t practiced religion in years but I feel I have to do this), and trying to have as little downtime as possible. Lord knows I question whether I’m worth redemption, but I hope I can still find it.

    Maybe somehow I can find a way to help people before I leave this Earth instead of chasing this selfish, worthless pleasure.
     
  3. I am not sure what to say. You sound very low. We have have done things we truly regret. We've all played those Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde roles. Is there anything I can do?
     
    looking likes this.
  4. looking

    looking Fapstronaut

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    Maybe after some months I can start to feel whole again, hard as it is to imagine that right now. It's really hitting me what I have done on Omegle, searching for hours on this site for a woman - all the times I've ended up doing it with a guy, or something going wrong and feeling ashamed. I feel totally dehumanized, like a humiliated, worthless robot who just clicks "next" on someone's website, probably profiting them in some way. All at the expense of my own life. I'm gonna get help, I'm gonna get therapy, I promise I will show you all that even after years of failure, a person can quit this. It may be too late for me to end up happy, but at least I can prove that quitting is always possible. But right now I feel like a fool saying things like this, when you have years documented in my post history of me saying similar things during failed attempts which only led me to this pitiful, gross behavior. I will get some days under my belt and then maybe I'll be able to speak in a bit of a calmer tone. But right now I just feel truly awful.

    I'm not sure what you can do. But even showing your concern as you have is something I'm very thankful for, so I appreciate that greatly.

    I truly wish I had been born at some other time, where I wasn't a social outcast as a teenager with the ability to drown their sorrows in porn without ever once thinking it could be harmful. But I know such wishes are pointless. I just have to try and change this life. Somehow I will.
     
  5. ryan23

    ryan23 Fapstronaut

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    I feel like in the same boat as you right now. Even though it always seems like a good idea at the time to go to these websites and get a release. I usually disguise myself and then sometimes try and get snapchats and sext some of these girls.

    So I relapsed to that yesterday, and that lead me to feeling terrible today and looking at actually video and images just a little bit ago.

    Honestly, I feel low. My confidence has been low lately. I need a new start. Does that sound cliche?
     
  6. looking

    looking Fapstronaut

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    No, certainly not. But it does sound sensible. This type of behavior, as I know from experience, is a pretty powerful sabotage of your own sexuality. Because I am so ashamed of this disguise I put on where I try and get girls who can't see my face while I have my camera at a choice angle, I am simultaneously driven away from interaction with a real woman who is interested in me for who I am in the real world. Because I can barely look them in the eye knowing what I do.

    So it makes sense that your confidence feels low. As does mine. But I try and hold on to a shred of hope, and you're not alone. We never have to go back to these sites ever again. We can leave it all behind. Let's do just that.
     
  7. Everyone fails. Everyone falls down. That is the past. What matters is how we react to it. Somehow you need to find some self respect and aw ill to move forward.
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  8. ryan23

    ryan23 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both, it's encouraging. Yes @looking, let's leave those websites behind.

    My confidence in the real world has grown greatly, and I have found women more interested in me before the past year. But yeah, of course right now it's quite low ----> acting out does it every time.

    I think a huge important piece is getting back to those habits that can create so much greatness in our lives. Exercise, reading, writing, waking up early, but of course not burning ourselves out in the process. I personally know I need to get more specific with these sorts of things and start living closer to a planner to keep myself accountable.
     
    looking and Deleted Account like this.
  9. gzoztra

    gzoztra Fapstronaut

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    I hate omegle so much, it has completely ruined my life.
    Im there for hours every day and have done some problematic shit over there
     
  10. I do believe that Porn Addiction has to be put in a larger frame that is social media or internet addiction. We avoid direct human contacts and use the internet. For work, for talk and for sex. I'm not knocking the internet, but there are sideffects, it is addictive and has been conceived that way by firms like google and facebook.
     
    looking likes this.
  11. looking

    looking Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    I hope you are all doing well.

    Since I last posted I had a one week streak in there, and then a bunch of miserable days trapped in PMO, some of which involved Omegle.

    I am at my lowest point, I feel even worse than before. Tomorrow I'm starting therapy, in addition to my usual methods of self-help I have employed in the past when away from this addiction. I believe this will be of great help.

    I am sorry to everyone I have ever overlooked or ran away from in order to engage in this addiction. I will repay my debts by living a healthy life from here on, for something other than selfish pleasure - to help other people. This is the only way I will find peace.
     
  12. Cas12

    Cas12 New Fapstronaut

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    I hope you all are doing well. I completely understand what many of you are going through. I hope we can continue this discussion and help each other to be a better version of ourselves. Stay strong everyone!
     
    Squatzandoatz likes this.
  13. Fefeor

    Fefeor New Fapstronaut

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    Hey

    I hope you're still active here. Cybersex-addiction is a beast of a addiction. Coming from a person, who used to jerk off in Omegle for 6-10 hours straight.

    First of all, you need to understand that it is that for the most of us searching cybersex from sites like Omegle. You get addicted to the point that it feels very depressing.

    Know that you will be forgiven for any action you've done. There should be no shame. You are addicted and it is not unusual among us humans.

    Be merciful for yourself, but aim for better. Studies show that if a person is asked "Do you want the chocolate now or an apple after one week?", most of us want the chocolate right now. If the question is changed to "Do you want the chocolate or an apple after one week?", we choose apple, because it is better for us and we know that.

    Know this and that we as humans tend to seek immediate pleasure, even though we know it might not be the best option for us.

    Focus in the now, because that is all there is. Don't think too much about the past or future, but you can for example plan your upcoming days, so you can take the best roads in a long-term.
     
    Texpickins likes this.
  14. pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    Turn it off. Turn it off. It got quiet did it?
     
  15. Texpickins

    Texpickins Fapstronaut

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    I’m not sure i understand?
     
  16. GeorgeJetson

    GeorgeJetson Fapstronaut

    This is a great post as I am a cybersex addict as well. I also agree that it is the hard drug of porn addiction. My cybersex addiction has manifested itself to asian massage parlors as well. I should also say, I'm a married man with children. I've come back after a 2.5 year relapse and have 8 days sober today. Thank you for all the support. This community is amazing.
     
    Bob73 likes this.
  17. timegoesby

    timegoesby Fapstronaut

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    Hi- I have commented don other threads about this subject. I think the addiction to roulette style video chats is more common than is realized. I became hooked on them over a year ag
     
  18. timegoesby

    timegoesby Fapstronaut

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    Sorry- as I was saying I got hooked on these sites and it has taken the place of watching porn vids. Not necessarily good, but it does illustrate how addictive these sites are. For me, it seems to be the thrill of “who’s next?”. Part of it is also hearing compliments from people and the experience of exposing yourself like that. I am a relatively shy person by nature, so I never would have thought I would ever get hooked on something like this!
    Before I came on here, I realized the vast amounts of time I was spending on these sites was a huge source of my guilt. I started realizing the things I could have gotten done instead!

    I a couple of months ago I decided to cut my time down on these sites by 80%. I accomplished this by actually setting an old school timer ( sounds weird, I know, but everybody has to find a start that works for them). Since doing this, I became much more mindful, and although I still do cam sometimes, I now have reduced my time spent on this addiction by more than 90%. I know this isn’t perfect, but I feel good that it is a hell of an improvement! And I have maintained this for months now. Eventually I now know I will stop completely.
    Something else I had to realize is that I really do have fun on these cam sites. Admitting that has been instrumental to my recovery.
    I wish you the best on your journey here in dealing with these sites, which in my experience are way, way more addicting than porn vid sites.
     

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