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Addicted to PMO for 12 years, willing to start a 90 day hard mode.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by icandoitandiwill, Jul 4, 2019.

  1. icandoitandiwill

    icandoitandiwill New Fapstronaut

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    Hello fellow members of the NoFap community!

    Who am I?
    I'm a 24 year old male, single, still in college.

    How long have I been using pornography?
    Well this started at the very young age of 11, I was improperly introduced to pornography and masturbation by an older "friend", at some point I was briefly molested by him too, but that didn't last.
    Ever since that time I have constantly been looking for time to watch porn and masturbate, I've had more intense masturbation sessions when I was a teen, but I also managed to do some hardcore masturbation and porn surfing up until recent months.
    The longest time I have ever stopped masturbating was about 11 days. The longest time without looking at porn was about 30 days probably, but that was way back.

    How did this impact my life?
    Well, I am sure I have some fucked up fantasies about sex, I think this prevented me from ever being in a serious relationship, since sex was always a very big bubble in my head even when I was in the very early stage of the relationship.
    No one in my life knows about my PMO addiction, no one, not even my closest friends, both male and female, even people I have been thinking about in a relationship kind of way. It is a completely secret part of my life, I feel like a hypocrite at most times because of this.
    Physically, I think I also have some problems, I'm a virgin but I'm almost sure that I can't last in bed, I think my masturbation habits have been so hardcore that I won't even enjoy a woman's company, and even if I did, I don't think she will be enjoying my company since I probably won't be able to give her what she needs, based on my research and the many stories I read.

    Why have I decided to quite using porn (and masturbating)?
    I have tried quitting this whole thing more times than I can remember. I have tried cutting porn while still masturbating (later I found you people call it P-mode) but that didn't last. I have tried cutting all stuff altogether but that also didn't last.
    Few weeks ago it hit me that I'm not getting any younger, and that if I ever wanted a real opportunity to be with a woman I love, or do the things I aspire to do, I have to act about this major problem in my life.
    When I was younger I always thought that whenever I become sexually active or marry, my whole PM problems will go away, but as I read more and more into the subject, I realized that most PM addicts stay PM addicts even after marriage or a serious relationship.
    You should probably know that I'm a Muslim, and porn, and even masturbation, are considered banned in our religion. I can be considered a person who is pious and takes his religion seriously, but this has been a major hole in my whole "becoming a better person" idea. Please note that although the religious drive is considered a very good motive for me, I do have other motives: physical, mental, healthy-lifestyles motives.
    You should also know that recently I have been close to a certain "woman" that might or might not be in my future.
    Bottom line is, although all these factors kick in, I made it clear to myself that if this reboot challenge is going to work, I have to do it solely for me, not for anyone else. Even though having someone as a reason to motivate you can be quite effective, I'm trying as much as I can to center this whole experience around me.
    I don't want to be the 50 year old person who is still addicted to porn and masturbation.

    My reboot parameters?
    After reading the whole "Porn Addiction 101" and "Rebooting Introduction", and from personal experience, I think the only way for me to fully recover is to engage in the hard mode, the PMO mode.
    I've always had doubts that I can ever stop masturbating, I mean I tried and succeeded to stop porn for around a month in the past, but masturbation, never.
    That's why I think that P-mode won't be beneficial to me for now (or ever).
    Now regarding the duration, I think I want to do this the right way, so I'm going for the 90 day reboot challenge, and I may even extend it, let's just see how things go from now on.
    I chose 90 days because it is the recommended time to end most addictions and bad behaviors, and because Summer has always been a haven to my PMO routine. Additionally, I'm a bit afraid that if engage in a one month challenge, I would be looking forward to a PMO session(s) at the end of it, as this has happened before with me with smaller durations.

    Any advice?
    I would appreciate any advice you can give me.

    ICanDoItAndIWill
    Day 2
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part ofour community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use the NoFap Forums | Panic Button |Day Counter | Rebooting Resources |Forum Rules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here tohelp you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothingbut the best!
     
  3. Hey & Welcome to NoFap Community! :)

    You are in the right place for recovery here. We are so glad to have you with us to beat this addiction together.

    You can go read some Success Stories in the "Success Stories" section to learn more about the benefits of NoFap , get useful tips and ideas to help you in the reboot.

    If you have any question about rebooting, you can ask it in the "Rebooting" section.


    And I would recommend you to make your own journal in the "Reboot logs" corresponding to your gender & age to track your everyday progress.
    You can also join challenges in the "Events & Challenges" section, to keep yourself motivated and focused.




    You may start by checking the links below:
    Learn more about Rebooting.
    Forum Usage Guide.
    List of Rebooting Ressources.
    Glossary of terms used in NoFap community.




    Best of luck to you in your journey!





    -The Winner
     

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