Addicted to Porn - Here's my Story

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Valkus90, May 18, 2021.

  1. Valkus90

    Valkus90 Fapstronaut

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    Hey everyone,

    Thought I'd come here about how I've been watching porn since I was 10. This past year I went through therapy, talking about me being sexually exposed before that, and now its all making sense. Over the years I got used to porn because it seemed normal but now its really ruining my mental psyche.

    The longest I've gone was 1 month, then told myself "I don't have a problem" and realize I'm paying camgirls like its normal even when I tell myself not to spend the money. I keep going back to it and I just don't like this version of myself, even when I know its gonna make me sad afterwards, I just do it for the relief.

    I started going to the gym, which I've been sticking to, but like I said porn keeps comin back into my life. At this point I want to figure out how I can block it from everything, my phone, my computer, all of it.

    Thanks for listening/reading \ o
     
    Anandamide and MexFighter like this.
  2. miguelmain

    miguelmain Fapstronaut

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    Welcome!! I'd strongly recommend starting a thread in the rebooting journal section and posting every morning, it really helps. I'm in my second proper streak after years of porn use and I can testify it's a majorly good thing you're doing.
     
  3. Valkus90

    Valkus90 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, I've tried many times to do NoFap, the longest I went was 1 month then told myself I didn't have a problem. After today, I realized how its literally effecting my daily routine if I give my self excuses to do it. I know my triggers is definitely lack of sleep, but I know thinking of females sexually even for a little makes me get off course. I don't even like to think of women like that, but its a trigger so its part of the psyche.

    So I'd be posting every morning on the forums or my own journal?
     
  4. miguelmain

    miguelmain Fapstronaut

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    There's a section of the forum called 'reboot logs' and they are split by age range. You can start a new thread there. I had long times of convincing myself it wasn't a big deal - but that was mainly because I'd forgotten what it felt like before all I got internet in mu early 20s
     
  5. MexFighter

    MexFighter Fapstronaut

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    Hi, welcome. You're in the right place..
    You didnt say it but does anyone knows about your addiction? My greatest advices is: confession..
    Talk about your addiction with a good friend or family member. You need to say it loud, speak out, hear yourself saying: I'm an addict and then keep that person as an AP (accountability partner) and then look for therapy.
    I tried for more than 10 years to fight this battle by my own and always failed ultil I confessed and look for help..
    Also Apple has a great parental control, I use it on my phone and BlockSite on my PC.
    Good luck!
     
    luckydog likes this.
  6. Valkus90

    Valkus90 Fapstronaut

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    So I actually told my cousin's, they're close to me but they told me "its completely normal, should learn to do it in moderation". Thing is I know that I want to do to the fact that my ding dong is much more health considering I'd do it everyday 3+. The only thing I can think of is I don't want to have penile problems due to excessive fapping and its scary to think of that.
     
  7. miguelmain

    miguelmain Fapstronaut

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    that's a bit like telling an alcoholic to just drink in moderation! The main thing for me is my baseline level of well being, pmo does genuinely numb your enjoyment of normal life
     
    MexFighter likes this.
  8. luckydog

    luckydog Fapstronaut

    You know @miguelmain brought up an excellent point - the need for partner(s) who understand what you are going through in becoming porn-free. Whether this is through a dedicated, structured group like PAA (pornaddictsanonymous.org), something less structured like the group sessions on nofap.com, individual accountability partners (there is a sub-forum here to match people looking for one), this is important.

    If you are interested I wrote up what tools I used in early days, you are welcome to do a lot of things in addition to getting others involved in recovery.
     
  9. Valkus90

    Valkus90 Fapstronaut

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    Something I want to do is definitely block a way from getting secondlife installed on my computer, I keep deleting my account but then re-activating it because urges/fantasies. I know none of them are realistic expectations and thats literally the main poison to porn or anything thats a sexual gateway such as 3D sim games. I believe thats one of the triggers that messes with me the most which is the fact of being lonely as not having a partner v. lonely from not hanging out with friends.

    I'll get through this, I know I have the willpower for it.
     

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