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Addicted to TV show, net, Porn, computer, movies

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Bemybest, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I am really depressed right now. Feeling really low and tensed from yesterday evening.
    One I got to know about that my hairfall for last 1 year has led to baldness which is irreversible and only solution is hair transplant. And also the one left are also vulnerable to loss and faster receding of hairline could happen if treatment not done. I used to thought this problem was not that severe and it could be solved naturally and through serums. Also I wanted the treatment to be done only after I had established myself and accomplished something. But now the problem is critical and any later would be too late.
    Also it's tough concentrating and dedicating yourself to 2 tough goals of study + gym. I need to go to gym as I am really skinny and need to gain muscle . But at the same time I also need to study to accomplish myself. I always thought I would be able to achieve my goals and handle these addictions and get over them.
    But all my problems have been triggered and become more severe due to these addictions and bad lifestyle.

    Also when I reflect back I know it takes a hell lot of effort and time to recover from these addictions.Also only slow and steady approach could deliver results otherwise too much expectation of fast result leads to relapse.
    Idk whether too big goals and ambitions have led to depression , so whether I should have small goals instead . Because those goals required great dedication, self control, discipline and hard work which I believed I could do it but now after 2 years of failure due to addictions confidence has taken a hit and it's rock bottom.

    Now I am not sure whether I should continue my pursuit towards the bigger goals and ambitions which require extreme hard work and dedication + giving up all addictions + self discipline . So if not done anything much in that regard one year down the line could lead to more frustration and depression.
    So HELP NEEDED
     
  2. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    So w please elaborate...do u wanna be APs?
     
  3. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    Also I have problems with valuing small things like shutting down computer, Removing external HDD safely, using anti virus, properly caring for mobile as these small things don't result in severe damage at that instance. But then I regret later die to lkng term carelessness as I have damaged 2 HDD, 1 laptop screen, 2 Sony xperia z dead, 5 headphones broken, etc.

    Also carelessness with maintaining imp. Documents, files. I have lost all my family holidays pics due to my laziness and carelessness. Many imp. Documents like my thesis, my father's imp. Work related files, my certificates like my degree.

    Some like eating properly, brushing at night, not lying down after eatiing .
     
  4. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    Feb 29- March 3 (day 17-20)
    I was busy with my friend's sister wedding. Met friends after long time . Had a great time .
    But I realised few of my problems. I get stuck with regret and can't move on. As when some of my friends mocked me ,I couldn't move on and enjoy myself. Also I lose confidence very easily. Just one negative comment and I lose it.
    Also i lack presence of mind to give quick witty replies to counter my friends.
    But all In all I enjoyed thoroughly. So no worries.

    Alignment
    • Nofap- done
    • No TV show binge- done
    • No sports addiction - done
    March 4( Friday)-day 21
    I came back from the wedding at 3 am. Then I slept till 10 am. Then I went somewhere for some work. Came back at 5 , read the newspaper. After that I sat idle wasting time from 7-9. Then went to sir's flat and read for half an hour. Now I am going to sleep.
    I am not able to study or sleep right now because I am stuck in my carelessness. I didn't keep a bottle of medicine with its cap tight and it spilled in my books in my bag. Now I am constantly thinking about it and regretting it .
    Why am not able to move on. Maybe because it keeps happening with me. I am so careless.
     
  5. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    March 5- day 22

    I got up at 4 am. Then studied till 8 am. Then I went to office though it was really tough as I was feeling extremely sleepy and lazy. After reaching office I read the newspaper till 12 pm. Then I wasn't feeling well maybe due to lack of sleep.
    I was feeling very drousy and was dozing off a lot. So I slept for 1 hour in office.
    Then I studied till 5 pm. Went to home and was feeling unwell.
    I studied for 1 hour and now I am sleeping.

    But I am also getting vulnerable as it is my longest streak. I am fascinating about girls. Also I am regretting massively being a virgin and not having a girlfriend.
    I was real believed in God and used to think that relationship would happen eventually and the girl made for me there. Also that u would get a hint or signal from somewhere that she's mine. Also I used to think if she's destined to be mune then why couldn't she approach me. Also I had serious inferiority complex

    Alignment
    • No PMO - done
    • No TV show binge- done
    • Newspaper- done
    • Study - 6 hours
    • No entertainment/ time wastage- done
    • No Internet time wastage- done
    • No sports addiction- Done
    Misalignment
    • Gym- not done( Unwell)
    • Time management/ efficiency - Still a long way to go
    Tackle + Countering
    • Procrastination/laziness
    First half of the day was active and efficient. But later half I was feeling unwell.

    Positives

    Self control and discipline are getting stronger.
    Rating 7/10
     
  6. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I have relapsed twice. That's the reason for me not writing on this forum. It all started with the Regret of not being able to do anything in life uptill now. I got to know about my college mates having achieved so much and got depressed kn Sunday. So I thought I would start afresh from Monday. But due to late night binging I kept sleeping and couldn't get up on time for office. Then I got more demoralised and less confident of my recovery. Again I thought I would start afresh from Tuesday and same thing happened.

    Then also I was sleeping so much that I felt how would I be able to achieve anything. So I weakens my resolve to fightback the urges and started binging on YouTube videos. Then I started binging on sports and then on friends TV show which culminated into Moing twice.
    I keep delaying the recovery to start from new day falsely believing that it would be a new start. Also I don't stop binging then and there and keep telling myself that 1 day doesn't matter and we will start afresh from tomorrow. This is same perfection/ All or nothing problem.

    Now I have to get stronger and achieve my target of April 1.
    Counters to my triggers
    Talk to friends/ relatives
    Not go upstairs
    Write on my journal

    I need more counters so please suggest.
     
  7. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I don't have any mental strength left to counter these addictions. I start my morning thinking I will change from today. Then I start reading sports news in my mobile. Then YouTube videos. Then it's tV show binge watching . and then it's porn. I have again fallen into the binge cycle.
     
  8. rocky77777

    rocky77777 Fapstronaut

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    brother , it happens when you dont have any motivation left . you see , when we try to quit something that has given us pleasure in past we face what is known as ambivalence . the force which tries us to go back and have it more so that we can have pleasure . while the force which can drive us out of this addiction is motivation . in our case , ambivalence is urges and motivation is why we want to quit . it seems that your motivation is not so good at the moment . try this . answer these questions in as much details and points as possible . the more detailed they are the better it will be :

    1. what problems had porn caused me in the past ?
    2. what problems i am experiencing today ?
    3. how has porn changed me in ways i dont like .
    4. how does my porn use affect others i care about ?
    5. what problems could occur in future due to porn ?
    now keep the answers to yourself . maybe in a wallet or near study table . or on mobile . wherever you can access it readily . so whenever the urge arise , all you have to do is , go through your answers . it will help you know why you are doing this on the first place . why it has brought nothing but damage to your life . it will help you get back on the tracks . your positive force will be pumped up again . your will power will be charged up ! ! !
    you can do this brother :) i have total faith in you . you yourself know that you can do this . just remember about these answers . and the life it will be after becoming a better person !
    win it brother , you are a winner .
    [​IMG]
    also , check this out to add more points to the above questions :
    https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/3hqyll/new_reasons_more_encouraging_less_shaming/
     
  9. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I am in a vicious binge cycle of tv shows, YouTube and porn. I feel there is no way out. I don't have the resolve left to fightback. I am highly vulnerable to all these addictions. I have given up on my goals. I feel happy watching shows and not getting tensed thinking about the problems and trying but faltering in countering them
    It all started with huge REGRET and frustration of not achieving my goals and making my life worse. Then still after 22 days of NoFap I didn't feel the urges go away. Neither did I lose the laziness or procrastinating tendencies. I used to sleep for 10- 14 hours and not to anything much the whole day. Still after 22 days nothing was getting easier. Neither desisting the temptations nor trying to leave some bad habits and inculcate some good ones.
     
  10. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Well, the way I see it is that your issues are above and beyond porn.

    You seek a replacement, a filler to fill your time, preventing you to think. You will have to fight your urge to hide behind these things.
    I know very hard to do.
    Learn how to love yourself. Do not procrastinate.

    what is this you say that you failed? Is it stopping to PMO, or your had some big drawbacks in your life recently?
     
    Bemybest likes this.
  11. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    @Ikindaknew I have failed all the targets and goals that I had set in my life. I have failed myself so many times that now I don't have the self belief and confidence left to try again lest o would get more depressed.
    I first wanted to get physically fit but couldn't achieve it after wanting to do it for last 5 years.
    Then I wanted to become smart, knowledgeable and succesful. But I have misrebaly failed in that endeavour too.

    I wanted to give up the addictions to porn, TV show, sports , many time wasting liesures but I have failed that too. Now I have accepted this way of life and started channelising my time on net watching documentary videos. But there you are rather more vulnerable to the other addictions and that's what happens with me. Today I started watching a documentary on Congo conflict but sometime later when I felt it's too boring I started watching the match and then binge watched it for 5 hours.

    I have given up for the moment on the dreams to study hard for next 1-2 years and achieve something as I have never been a student who has been disciplined and studied everyday. So now changing this habit has become too difficult. I have tried but I get distracted easily and lose focus. Also I want to keep enjoying and keep doing easier things. It's easier to escape from studying so ibrather binge watch.
    I really don't know what to do with my life. I feel good after watching documentaries but I know I won't achieve anything with it. As to be succesful i would have to study for my goals for which I have already wastedast two years trying.

    Now I don't have any motivation, dedication to achieve anything in life.


    Also I am virgin and never had a gf. So that used to be huge regret in my college days but now I have got over it. I initially became addicted to pron because of that regret.

    Now I don't see any hope of improving my life.

    As I keep doing what I enjoy rather than what should I do like playing cricket rather than studying or watching match then I feel happy at that moment. But after 1 week of enjoying all that I get fallen into binge mode of porn , TV shows. I can't control my urges to watch porn and start thinking that it's what I like so do it rather than feeling bad. But when that urge still doesn't die and resurfaces 1-2 hours later I realize that I shouldn't have given into them in the first place. But now it gets too late and I give in again.

    I am jsut randomly writing what I am feeling so please excuse this long post .
     
  12. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Ok, do you have a job? If so what is it? If you don't why not? If you don't want to go to school to study like a madman, have you considered a trade? something that is learned mostly while doing it, instead of having 1000 of exams?

    also, list 5 things you are good at! Staying in bed, surfing porn and stuff doesn't count btw
     
  13. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I am writing after one and a half year. My coaching ended in June 2017. I have not overcome my addictions. I watch them for instant gratification. Just to go into escape mode.
    For those one and a half year I shifted to a room with no net and only a phone to call. There I used to study and attend my coaching for law. Now after June whole day I either daydream, procrastinate or fascinate about girls.
    I got fed up and came back home. At home again I started watching tv whole day, wasted time on YouTube, watched porn 5 times in a day. I can't get over these things. So I have a porn and Web filter installed on my mobile which also blocks apps. I have got my mom and fathers phone locked. Also my computer also I have locked with all passwords not known to me. But with computer it is upon me to lock it. It doesn't get automatically locked on sleeping. I dint know why.
    I am preparing for competetive exams for last 2 years. So i need to study a lot. Sometimes i need to study 14 hours a day. At my place where I shifted I was studying but there also I started binging on quora. Its not as if I am totally going directionless. I have cleared the first stages of two exams. Now i am on second stage but I just give up due to pressure or start binging on anything to avoid studying. I don't know what to do
     
  14. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    You watch Friends???

    j/k, seriously though cross addiction is a thing - and I think times are changing where people are recognizing it's not just about substance or even the more extreme and obvious stuff like pornography.

    Have you found a good way to measure your time? One thing I thought of, though I haven't tried is is to keep a record of my intent for everything. The thing is, binging on TV shows or food or anything doesn't have a focused intent - you're just mindlessly going along trying to feel good and it doesn't really do it. Having a specific intent like I will watch one episode of this show so I can relate to other people that like it and talk about it (real life socializing) is a bit different. It can be with anything else we do, like if we go online what are we going online FOR?

    Anyway I saw your other post too, just wanted to offer a little support.
     
    Bemybest likes this.
  15. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday also I started studying from 11 pm. Then around 3am i was eating food. So I though lets watch some tv. Then i mindlessly started watching it and then watched till 7 am. Then from 7-9 am mindlessly started surfing net for useless things. Now i am watching a cricket match.
    I have an exam on 30 and 31 which is very important for me. But i have given up hope as I feel I can't Complete my syllabus and won't be able to clear it.
    I have the right intent in mind to be productive everyday. To give my 100% but I don't do it eventually. I don't know why do I fail repeatedly
     
  16. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Do you usually stay up late like that?
     
  17. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    No. Just for my exams I was studying all night and sleeping around 9 am in morning.
     
  18. Ongoingsupport

    Ongoingsupport Fapstronaut

    Well it sounds like you're cramming and are short on time for this exam, of course you really hurt your health when you disturb your sleep pattern like that, and that's not going to help your mind work any better at the exam. Yes you may memorize some more information but our brain needs sleep to work correctly and it should be a regular pattern, maybe a little later once in a while but should be pretty much the same. You'll want to find a regular schedule that works and you can do continuously I think.
     
  19. Bemybest

    Bemybest Fapstronaut

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    I have become a very big procrastinator. I have been such all my life. Day after tomorrow I have an exam. I was studying well till 20 Dec. But after that i got stressed out and then got depressed due to being single my whole life. I went into a very low place. So, I went back home where I got over the stress. But then my addiction and procrastination habit took over. I have self destructor and haven't studied for last 10 days.
    I have just squandered such a big opportunity to progress in my goal.

    From 1 jan I have set a date to change my life. That is the reason why I gave up on changing these past 10 days
     

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