addiction to masturbation destroyed my life

Hello to all,
I discovered this community few weeks ago. At first, I didn't think much of it, but now I've made up my mind and decided to sign because I feel that the community can help me and I can help you in return when I'm better.
I would like to take back my whole life by getting out of this addiction.
I am just over 30 years old, I find myself without a job and without a girlfriend and, yes, addicted to masturbation (to porn to a lesser extent).
It feels like a quest for bad choices, an impressive series of bad choices.
Yet I was born in a wealthy family, attended the best schools, always the first. Then bad relationships with women, waste of time. An important relationship lasted many years, ensuing depression, suicidal ideas, then sabbaticals to heal, to flee more than anything else.
And it's always been present: addiction. I do not have others. Don't smoke, don't event touch alcohol, don't do drugs. Porn yes, in part, but I've never exaggerated. I've always stayed on the lesbian and solo genre. But mind you. They're dangerous as well. I wasted so much time seeking the perfect video.
My main addiction is that of the pleasure I can give myself. I confess that I can get aroused more alone than with women. In my life I have spent whole afternoons doing just that. It was during adolescence, purely, it was understandable for short periods, now it's absurd and I've decided to quit permanently. I meant...since the break-up happened 4 years ago, I started masturbating between 2 and 4 times a day on a regular basis. Even when not aroused, my mind used to order my body to get off.

Few weeks ago, I realized I hit rock bottom. Early 2021, I signed to a cam-site. I didn't need money, I did it just for the lust of being seen by a strangers. Despite beinbg straight, I discovered how exhibitionist I could be. Being so desired felt amazing at firs, the boredom of the lockdown did the rest.
Then I quit out of shame but sign back again. It happened a few times, now I deleted account for good. So please don't write to me in private to do something for you, I won't and I'll report you.

Among other things, I believe that my compulsive addiction has led me to not be able to have an orgasm with a woman. I can get out of it on my own, or she squeezes a lot. It is really frustrating and horrible.

I just want to start this journey. I don't know about superpowers. I just want to quit masturbating, camming, porn and that's it. My main hope is to be able to get my life back and be able to reach orgasm with a woman. I'd also like a meaningful relationship. I've lost too many years.

 

thank you for your answers.
I need to get back in control of my life. Spending maybe 2 hours a day masturbating, regardless of porn, is unhealthy. And it's constant edging. I'm not even doing it because my body requires or I'm particularly horny, but to avoid facing and addressing problems. I don't know if my DE is curable, or it's beyond the no return point, but I'll make sure to stop with PMO altogether. The target is not 90, but the entire life. Yes, I may relapse, but I need to commit to this for the future. It's about getting a better life. It's not enough, but a good start. For one thing, I'll have more time week by week and I'll surely be more productive.
Even though, I didn't show face camming is degrading, but I'm grateful I did it because I hit a rock bottom and understood I was wasting my life while my friends are getting married, having babies, improving their careers.