Addiction to porn that turned into Shemale addiction

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by topbwoydiss, Aug 13, 2017.

How can I overcome shemale fetish/addiction?

  1. Ask for help

    17 vote(s)
    13.2%
  2. Watch normal porn and then slowly you'll drift from that shit

    6 vote(s)
    4.7%
  3. Quit porn in general.

    122 vote(s)
    94.6%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    I'm quoting this again because in the process of reading the previous link at YBOP, I found another article about your terrible anxiety over what your sexual orientation is, HOCD.

    As I understand it, what this article says is that when you stop porn, which you have to do, the intrusive thoughts will get worse before they get better. You must not give them importance. You must not test yourself or otherwise seek relief. You must simply acknowledge that the thoughts are there, but do something else. Eventually the thoughts lose their power. This is my understanding from reading that article. I will give the link below. Anybody who is having these intrusive fears about their sexuality should read the whole thing.

    https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-therapy-hocd

    Another critical point in the article is that porn-induced HOCD is different from the mentally from HOCD that is acquired without the porn. The treatments required by these two different types of HOCD are also different.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2018
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  2. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    Quoting below from https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/exposure-therapy-hocd - there is a lot more at the link and anybody who is suffering badly from fears about their sexual orientation should read the whole thing. I've tried to capture some of the important points, plus I've added emphasis where I thought it might be helpful:

    Intrusive worries that someone has become gay—although he (she) has been straight for years with no doubts—have gained the label HOCD, homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder.
    ...
    Briefly, the difference between HOCD and porn-related HOCD is:

    • OCD + homosexual fears (or event) = HOCD
    • Years of porn use + distress about escalation to gay/transsexual porn = porn-related HOCD
    Random events in life, such as unthinking comments by peers at vulnerable moments, can cause some people to start questioning their sexual orientation compulsively (HOCD).

    However, today an emerging impetus for HOCD is chronic overstimulation, which leaves the brain less responsive to everyday pleasures and thus desperate for sensation. Highspeed pornography makes chronic overconsumption easy. Compared with erotica of the past it's so stimulating that, in some users, it produces addiction-related brain changes.


    Moreover, it's possible that those who develop HOCD may have brains that are particularly plastic for some reason. According to a Chinese study, those with OCD tendencies prior to exposure to the Internet face increased risk of addiction.

    In any event, a porn addict's brain can grow numb to normal pleasure even as it becomes hyper-reactive to select cues. Here's a guy describing a common progression, which is often reported by those who slip into porn-related HOCD:

    29 y/o with 17 years of MO (to softcore and imagination) and 12 years of masturbating, escalating to extreme/fetish porn. I started to lose interest in real sex. The build up and release from porn became stronger than it was from sex. Porn offers unlimited variety. I could choose what I want to see in the moment. My delayed ejaculation during sex became so bad that sometimes I couldn't orgasm at all. This killed my last desire to have sex.

    Classic sexual conditioning

    Once this degree of desensitization has set in, the stage is set for porn-related HOCD. Non-conforming porn violates expectations, releases more dopamine and norepinephrine than earlier porn genres, and furnishes the extra kick that fires up sluggish (addicted) reward circuitry. A user may begin to question why he can get off to fetish porn with transsexual/gay action yet not be attracted to real sex partners who aroused him in the past.

    His brain, however, automatically begins to wire its sexual response to this novel, stimulating genre—in a classic case of sexual conditioning. As explained in an earlier post, sexuality can be conditioned to most anything, even the smell of death, so it's not surprising that many of today's porn users report that their porn tastes morph all over the place as their pleasure response declines.

    Now, our user may find that he can only climax to his latest (and therefore most stimulating) genre. If it's one that he views as inconsistent with his underlying sexual orientation, the shock value is greater...and releases even more stimulating/anxiety-producing neurochemicals. His arousal is heightened, in part, by his own stress. Three guys describe their experience:

    First guy: I seriously thought I was turning gay. My HOCD was so strong at that time, I was contemplating taking a dive off the nearest high-rise. I felt so depressed. I knew I loved girls and I can't love another dude, but why did I have ED? Why did I need transsexual/gay stuff to jolt me into arousal?
    ...
    The users' desperation to understand whether their sexual orientation has suddenly changed can lead to constant, compulsive "testing" and other reassurance rituals. As with other varieties of OCD (including non-porn-related HOCD), the testing and searches for reassurance offer temporary relief. Each "test" reinforces the unwanted arousal—either with rewarding relief, or electrifying distress if the test fails. In this way, they reinforce the problematic triggers.
    ...

    But there's more going on at a biological level. The stress neurochemical cortisol can also heighten rewarding effects by triggering the release of dopamine. Eventually, brain changes can make someone hyper-responsive to stressful cues. Research confirms that extreme stress and drugs of abuse both increase the strength of related (addiction) brain pathways. Researchers believe cortisol thus plays a pivotal role in reward-related behavioral pathologies.

    The situation is akin to BDSM, where physical pain heightens a person's sexual buzz because of the effects on the brain. In HOCD sufferers, arousal and panic achieve a similar end. Bottom line: Despite intense emotional or physical discomfort, heightened arousal can make a behavior very hard to stop (addictive).

    The HOCD sufferer's brain has learned to obtain part of its reward from its own distress. Worse yet, when the sufferer tries to give up porn, his anxiety will naturally increase for an extended period. Withdrawal raises anxiety in all recovering addicts, fueling powerful cravings for more stimulation quite apart from HOCD concerns.

    For HOCD sufferers this predictable increase in anxiety tends to set off intense spikes (panics about orientation) and frantic "checking," often driving them back into addiction. Indeed, some report that their HOCD fears were trivial until they quit porn.

    As the addicted brain targets the strongest "fix" it can think of: panic+checking+sexual arousal to HOCD-related stimuli, straight feelings seem to evaporate.
    ...
    Those recovering report that if they can accept the intrusive HOCD thoughts without distress, they sidestep the neurochemical reinforcement of fear. In addition, they find it helpful to learn to live with uncertainty about their sexual orientation and to avoid all testing and efforts to "figure out the truth." That way they also stop the rewarding reinforcement of fleeting relief and "certainty."


    In other words, the HOCD sufferer needs to work on stopping stop three rewarding habits: Internet porn use, relief seeking and distress.


    One man's self-report


    This man's report is interesting because he began by weakening the porn reward, only to find that he hadn't dealt with the fear and relief (checking) rewards.


    I'm now over 3 months without porn, but I had sunk into a stupor of constantly checking various HOCD message boards. I was spending hours every day on those sites, sometimes checking them as much as several times an hour: at work, while I was driving, in bed at night, etc. etc. etc. Really bad 'checking behavior.' My brain was being rewarded when I would read something that reassured me, and it would fire up and freak out when I read something that spiked my anxiety.


    I had also expanded my checking onto other message boards, including gay and bisexual boards. This just perpetuated the spiral. I wasn't sleeping much on account of all my anxiety, and I wasn't really present in my life. I was either on these boards or worrying about what I read on them. Constantly. My relationship was suffering. Sometimes, alone at night, I would go on 2-3 hour binges of HOCD checking on internet message boards, and then feel awful afterward.


    I decided I would stop. My mate deserves someone who is present, not totally distracted. Since then, I have only had one 15-minute session, checking for replies. I've had to struggle to resist temptation, but the result is that I feel SO much better.


    It's really pretty remarkable. My HOCD has decreased significantly now that I am not constantly signaling to my brain "THESE HOCD THOUGHTS ARE IMPORTANT" by going on the boards and engaging in checking and reassurance. I hadn't read a book in months, but I'm now on my second one since I gave up the boards. My free time at night is now spent either with my girlfriend or reading by the fire. I'm sleeping a lot better.


    Yes, I still get the occasional spike when I see an attractive guy. And then from the checking with thoughts of him. But it's gotten to be a lot less, and that thought fades a lot faster.


    I now think that my HOCD may have been due to the fact that when I finally overdosed on PMO after years and years of it, I lost much of my attraction to real women. Without it women and men started to look the same to me, and BAM worries about being gay erupted.
     
    Last edited: May 21, 2018
  3. eaelite

    eaelite Fapstronaut

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    @Immature It's scary how accurate this is thank you for taking the time researching i am starting to realize that there is a lot more than just fapping ...
     
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  4. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    @eaelite - I'm glad it helps you. Yes there is more than just stopping the pmo for this particular issue.

    There are folks here who have what they call POCD - their attraction to teenage girls, those who have developed, but are still perhaps not 18 years old yet, disturbs them and they think that they are pedophiles. They have called this POCD and there are many parallels including the fact that they must learn to live with the thoughts and not to feed it.
     
  5. eaelite

    eaelite Fapstronaut

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    I know it's not for here but i must add this to anyone out there suffering from ocd hocd pocd or whatever, ocd can manifest itself in many ways it usually hits you right there where you are weak and tries to cripple you so if you happen to search for a particular problem you are experiencing and can't find anything do not worry about it it's just ocd even though you are not convinced and think that it's some other illness in most cases it's ocd. This is part of the ocd if you are an introvert like me and experienced or are experiencing such things my sincere advise is to talk to someone close if they don't get you seriously then go and seek professional help.
    PS. I am a rational person but there is one thing that helps me and might help you as well it's called Emotional Freedom Techniques and even if it's placebo IT CAN help you.
    Sorry for bad my bad english it's not my first language.
     
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  6. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    @eaelite - Thanks for that information. And your English is fine.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2018
  7. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

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    once ones hit puberty then they release the
    im aware our pheromones play a huge factor in attraction but my question is are gay males able to pick up on other gays pheromones , i can be minding my own business listening to my music an a feeling hits me, it tells me to look behind me, so i look an i see a attractive person, that i find attractive , i believe thats the pheromones at play , but how do my pheromones know who i find attractive,
     
  8. Immature

    Immature Fapstronaut

    It would be you sensing their pheromones. And who knows? The pheromones of young, healthy people with symmetrical features may be different than those of the less attractive.
     
  9. Alex1993

    Alex1993 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah dude I completely understand.. but worst thing happened to me I was living with friends and one of my mates for some weird fucking reason was looking up what I was searching on the router and has told a bunch of people. That’s fucking caused me massive anxiety and I am a straight male but now everyone thinks I’m gay and it’s fucked up my life. It was a dark secret I didn’t want the world to know about it because to me it’s really fucked up but I kept going back to it.
     
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  10. bken

    bken Fapstronaut

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    Every porn addict eventually desensitizes, meaning he will need a bigger "shock" to keep the reward system going. I for one gradually developed what I now know is sissy fetish, after years of watching porn I eventually got a kick out of imagining myself as the female porn stars, I've totally feared the worst, that I've become gay, but reading different stories on here and YBOP makes it seem pretty mainstream, although no one should be having such a fetish in the first place. I told a friend about it who is still addicted, and it didn't take too long before he opened up to me about this tranny fetish. When you've become addicted to porn and your brain is done with being aroused seeing naked women, it will move on to more shocking things that will cause a great deal of distress in life after orgasm. According to trans porn producers, 100% of their visitors are straight males. I can only imagine the same is true for us sissy addicts. I haven't for a moment had any interest in becoming a woman in real life. I absolutely love women.
     
  11. You're not alone with this, OP. I also really got into transgender porn. It got to the point where I was so obsessed with it that I needed to live out my fantasies in real-life, so I visited multiple trans escorts. Of course, I couldn't get hard with them, because PIED is very real.

    While I initially thought I was gay, I realised that these transgender women look and act exactly like women, which I'm attracted to. Transgender porn is definitely for straight men. I realised that it's not necessarily the genitals I'm attracted to, but femininity itself.

    I am now aiming to recover, but in the future when I'm fully porn-free, I honestly wouldn't be opposed to dating a transgender woman. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter, does it?
     
  12. Saint_Jack

    Saint_Jack New Fapstronaut

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    Good day guys! I like the on going discussion , because I suffered from the same addiction, and I've been going strong via meditating on the Word of God. I just got slightly tempted today, but I managed to maneuver away from the deadly paths of addiction, because I was searching/looking for folks like you! I want to share my testimony with you people and explain how the addiction escalates overtime, and how you can overcome it through the Word (Bible) of God! This will be a permanent solution that will work on removing the sexual urges!

    Is anyone interested?
     
  13. Saint_Jack

    Saint_Jack New Fapstronaut

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    I totally understand! I also encountered shemale porn along my porn addiction journey! I'm planning on recording a video that will empower both you and your pal to overcome this web of sexual fetishes via the Word of God! I'll upload the video on YouTube and share the link to it here. Are you interested?
     
  14. Saint_Jack

    Saint_Jack New Fapstronaut

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    I totally understand! I also encountered shemale porn along my porn addiction journey! I'm planning on recording a video that will empower both you to overcome this web of sexual fetishes via the Word of God! I'll upload the video on YouTube and share the link to it here. Are you interested?
     
  15. eaelite

    eaelite Fapstronaut

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    I wanted to check out this discussion and to my surprise it was still somewhat active, ironically one of the greatest weapons that the NoFap community has came from 4chan, search for the word coomer and watch the videos, for me it helped me be in check with my urges and so far it's been working good, and even though it's a "meme" it describes my situation quite well, i'm going through some hardship in my life (again) but i know that everything will be alright, stay strong guys and remember "Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire".
     

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