Addiction to sexchats, anals masturbation

PhilippB

PhilippB

Fapstronaut
Hello guys,

so somehow since last week when I had a big relapse I am relapsing again and again.

I also seem to develop a sissy and trans addiction, I text with some random girls about anal stimulation and anal sex which is performed on me with a girl with a strapon or even a guy.
So basically I texted with them about me being the sissy and also wearing girls clothes etc.

I have no idea whats happening, I had smthis fetish for trans women and also anal stimulation and also femdom a long time but now the addiction is even getting deeper and way more worse.


Moreover I had my first prostate orgasm yesterday and now I am really addicted to doing it again so I tried yesterday the whole night and even today (even with toys like a dildo).
Somehow I am
in a trance state (“gooning”) when I am sexting with girls in the internet, anr also when I try to get a prostate orgasm.

I don’t know what to do anymore…

I am already seeing a therapist and we are working on the reason why it seems that I am having troubles with my manhood and confidence.

I have had some situations in my life which could be the reason like people calling me gay to offend me (in school), also my mother making jokes about me beimg gay, in school people laughing about me for having a small penis (even if its not even small) and last but not least a 3 years relationship with an extremely jealous girl (I wasnt even allowed to think about certain things).


And I think that the therapy is really working but I also want to do something now on my own to build myself up again.

Thanks for helping me!

God bless you!
 
Hi Philip! Welcome to the community. Like you, many of us are struggling hard with this addiction and continue to question everything we are doing. I was doing the same and eventually realized I needed to focus on finding a solution.

Working with a therapist is fantastic, especially if they are certified in sex addiction. I find my therapy sessions to be incredibly beneficial as they help me really get to the root of my problem. Come to find out, the way I act out in my sexual addiction is more of a symptom to a much larger issue...which is why I find the therapy sessions to be so helpful.

This addiction is most definitely progressive...meaning, it continues to escalate. I've experienced the progression of my addiction over the past 20+ years, and it hasn't been pretty. In fact, it's been downright debilitating to me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. BUT THERE'S HOPE!

I've been a member of this community for 5+ years and have seen the hope from others. It's taking me a long time, but now I also feel the hope...and there's plenty of hope for you.
 
GeorgeJetson said:
Hi Philip! Welcome to the community. Like you, many of us are struggling hard with this addiction and continue to question everything we are doing. I was doing the same and eventually realized I needed to focus on finding a solution.

Working with a therapist is fantastic, especially if they are certified in sex addiction. I find my therapy sessions to be incredibly beneficial as they help me really get to the root of my problem. Come to find out, the way I act out in my sexual addiction is more of a symptom to a much larger issue...which is why I find the therapy sessions to be so helpful.

This addiction is most definitely progressive...meaning, it continues to escalate. I've experienced the progression of my addiction over the past 20+ years, and it hasn't been pretty. In fact, it's been downright debilitating to me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. BUT THERE'S HOPE!

I've been a member of this community for 5+ years and have seen the hope from others. It's taking me a long time, but now I also feel the hope...and there's plenty of hope for you.
Click to expand...
Hello brother,

its good to hear that I am not alone.

Can you tell me your addiction story and how things have escalated in your life?

Is it also possible if you tell me about the root of your addiction? And what have uou worked out with yout therapist?

If you have alread posted these things in a thread you can inform me as well.

Also if you don’t mind you can pn me.

Thank you and have a great day!
 
PhilippB said:
Hello brother,

its good to hear that I am not alone.

Can you tell me your addiction story and how things have escalated in your life?

Is it also possible if you tell me about the root of your addiction? And what have uou worked out with yout therapist?

If you have alread posted these things in a thread you can inform me as well.

Also if you don’t mind you can pn me.

Thank you and have a great day!
Click to expand...
Hey man. In a nutshell, my addiction started with VHS porn back in the 80s. When I became of age I found illicit massage parlors. This became my priority and I shifted away from porn. Eventually I started traveling the world on sex based vacations...been to all the hot spots around the world. This was obviously a huge progression in to foreign travel and sex workers.

Eventually I settled down with a woman and started a family. By then, the Internet was filled with all types of new technology, including free and paid camming. Suffice to say, I got heavy in to this as well.

A few kids later, things continued to evolve when they should have been done. I work a very lucrative job and was spending a fortune on high dollar escorts...still doing the cam stuff as well.

Long story short, been a member of this community for over 5 years...battled with get sober and staying stopped. This time, however, I've changed a few of my tactics. Now I focus on one day at a time and implementing some simple things each and every day, including, updating my NoFap journal 2 times a day minimum, reading other posts and replying when I can add value, helping new comers to NoFap, direct messaging with other like minded members, prayer, meditation, exercise, healthy eating, adequate sleep, and reading outside recovery literature.

As a result of taking action and staying consistent with all the things mentioned, I've been sober for the longest I've ever been since trying to get sober and stay stopped.

As for the origin of my addiction, I don't have a clear cut understanding, but have identified different things in my life that have exacerbated my addiction. Working with a therapist in tandem with NoFap and my consistent program of recovery has really proved to be worthwhile.

You are always welcome to reach out to me.

Wishing you the best bro!
 
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I was addicted to sex chats too (free chats).

I stopped with them once I realised most of the chat users were men, and those who said to be girls were guys anyway.
When I was at high school, some of us used to sit on computer for breaks in these sex chats claiming to be adult women with big tits etc.

We even shared phone numbers to the beverage machines, so men called for woman (we claimed they get sex appointment), but in reality men called to beverage machine in our school and all of us got free pepsi cola drinks which desperate men paid for each in their phone bills. So you never know who are you talking with on these sex chats. Most are men anyway, so there is from next to nothing possibility to get a chat with a woman.

You can also lost your money for example calling to numbers given.

You should stop with chats and start searching women in normal life instead.
 
I've actually found a really cool way to stop yourself from relapsing to a chat room in three easy steps:

1. Go to said chat room and login as normal
2. Start spamming them to hell about the evils of porn and how they should all be doing nofap.
3. Keep spamming relentlessly until they kick your ass and ban your IP.

When you can't get back into the chat room because you've been banned, you'll find it harder to relapse.

It also helps if you're doing other things with your life like regular exercise, seeing (real world) friends etc.
 
Pornfree 2024! said:
I've actually found a really cool way to stop yourself from relapsing to a chat room in three easy steps:

1. Go to said chat room and login as normal
2. Start spamming them to hell about the evils of porn and how they should all be doing nofap.
3. Keep spamming relentlessly until they kick your ass and ban your IP.

When you can't get back into the chat room because you've been banned, you'll find it harder to relapse.

It also helps if you're doing other things with your life like regular exercise, seeing (real world) friends etc.
Click to expand...
That sounds like a great idea.

Right now my phone is locked quite good with Covenant Eyes and my Laptop is locked away in a safe so temptation is not that big.
 
Well, a locked phone is just as good. But if you find yourself sneaking around the lock and relapsing in the future, getting yourself banned from the chat room is another layer of protection.
 
Pornfree 2024! said:
I've actually found a really cool way to stop yourself from relapsing to a chat room in three easy steps:

1. Go to said chat room and login as normal
2. Start spamming them to hell about the evils of porn and how they should all be doing nofap.
3. Keep spamming relentlessly until they kick your ass and ban your IP.

When you can't get back into the chat room because you've been banned, you'll find it harder to relapse.

It also helps if you're doing other things with your life like regular exercise, seeing (real world) friends etc.
Click to expand...

I seriously disagree with encouraging people to go to a porn site in order to quit porn. What happens if they give in to the desire to watch porn? You've just given them advice e that helped them to relapse.
 
Hi Philip.
Seems that the You have shame of Anal pleasure. But, the problem is P.
If You have not P, have You urges Anal M?
 
Jmmpa12 said:
Hi Philip.
Seems that the You have shame of Anal pleasure. But, the problem is P.
If You have not P, have You urges Anal M?
Click to expand...
Hello there,

yes you are completely right. Its a lot of shame.

Rn I am clean of P for quite some days (like 10-14 days or something).

The urge for anal pleasure has gotten a lot less
 
I think it’s the shame of being stimulated analy which makes it more taboo and a turn on. I seem to crave it when warn out. Other times I’m totally not in the mood for it. I think it’s an attempt to just let go and escape life’s pressure. Maybe a confident woman projects dominance when wearing a strap and it’s a way of her seducing and taking control. Never feel that proud of myself after and just trashed tbh. But we have got nerve endings up there and it’s very sensitive, plus can really intensify orgasms, so more brain chemicals. Complicated stuff. At times I feel unworthy so affirm negative core beliefs to be abused by someone I see as out my league. Other times it makes me really turned on that they’re confident and dominant and see it as a challenge to smash them.whilst highly aroused. There’s a lot of social pressure to be a real man and it does put some women off
 
Chatting has definitely changed my porn use,I would chat and M for hours!!! Then I started to notice it was every chance I got I was searching for it. Killed my libido and definitely caused ED trouble. Made excuses with girlfriend,but not that I know what the truth is, brings me here to help myself recover.
 
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