Addiction Transference

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by EyesWideOpen, Mar 10, 2019.

  1. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

    I'm curious on anyone's thoughts about this. It is something that can happen when trying to overcome an addiction - replacing one addiction with another - or addiction jumping. PMO to alcohol (or multiple addictions) or seemingly benign things like hobbies or even becoming the cliche workaholic. I also think it's possible to get addicted to "good things" like therapy or recovery work, things like nofap or YBOP forums, constantly posting or messaging, in the name of recovery or helping others.

    Thoughts? Has anyone experienced this or know of anyone that has?
  2. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    I've seen this idea crop up, e.g.
    • Anna's understanding of Jak's car obsession
    • In the early days of my reboot I was throwing so many hours daily into these forums, probably more than I put into porn on an average day even
    • My therapist warned that disclosure can become addictive
    But I'm cautious about the term "addiction". I understand that the WHO are moving away from the term and now use "dependence" instead:

    I still use the word addiction, and here's the definition I have in mind: you are addicted to something if
    • Doing it is harming you,
    • You are sincerely trying to stop doing it, and
    • You find that you cannot stop.
    So by that definition the things we transfer onto, e.g. using these forums, are not addictions.
  3. NF4L

    NF4L Fapstronaut

    I think it comes down to the adage of “once an addict, always an addict.” Some folks can be predisposed to obsessive compulsive behaviors. Others have problems coping, and dealing with problems and stresses, and use things, behaviors, drugs or alcohol to numb out or feel good. I think @kropo82 sums it up well. Although I will say what is missing is the unmanageable side of it. That ends up really being the hallmark of an addiction. You either refuse to see, or choose to ignore the damage it is bringing to yourself, your life and loved ones or those around you.
    phuck-porn! and kropo82 like this.

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