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Advice for Dealing with Guilt

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Flamma, Apr 13, 2020.

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  1. Apr 13, 2020 #1
    Flamma

    Flamma Fapstronaut

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    I've been struggling recently because of guilt and shame over how extreme the porn I used got over the years. I've started getting much better at avoiding porn altogether, but now that I've started getting my life back on track, I'm beginning to see how my past actions might affect me.

    In the future, I want to get married. And part of that marriage would involve being totally open with each other. But how can I ever be open about the types of depraved porn I've used? It would doubtlessly drive anyone away if they found out.

    These thoughts have been stressing me out for a while now, and I would really appreciate any advice from anyone who has overcome these feelings of shame and guilt, especially as they relate to other people.
     
    Flamma, Apr 13, 2020
    Flamma, Apr 13, 2020
    #1
  2. Apr 13, 2020 #2
    Lion's Roar

    Lion's Roar Fapstronaut

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    Don't be afraid if they find out.
    I had watched porns and masturbated repeatedly for about 14 years, from ~2004 to 2017. Then I confessed to my mother and other people.
    They understood and forgave me everything I had done.
    My new friends also got it and they didn't judge me.

    Everyone makes mistakes. But close the window to the past and change what you do each day is a good idea.
    You should try be a volunteer to help people in your home, your school, your company, your neighbourhood from collecting garbage to taking care of the elders and other works else. There a lot of works to do to help people and environment. So good luck. Hope you feel better.
    If you do good deeds, the Law of Karma will reward you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2020
    Lion's Roar, Apr 13, 2020
    Lion's Roar, Apr 13, 2020
    #2
  3. Apr 13, 2020 #3
    eevahnits

    eevahnits Fapstronaut
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    Forgive yourself. You are not the person you used to be. You have changed and developed. Everyone has some sort of past that they don't like or are not proud of. I would also suggest writing a letter to your former self, explaining how you feel now, how 'that you' made you feel and just whatever you wanna say to your former self, read it in front of a mirror and then burn the paper.
    And, personally, I don't think you should care what your future spouse will think about your past, no matter how bad it was. What's important is that you changed so you'll attract positive people and the person who comes into your life will be the one that's gonna accept you for who you are, flaws and all.

    I wanna say that I definitely don't know what you went through and what your life is like, I don't have the same experiences you have and I don't have a streak as high as yours, but I believe in the universal power that guides us all (god if you will) and that provides what we ask for when we do commit to changing our lives.

    Lol, anyway, I hope this makes sense because English is not my native but I only wanted to tell you not to worry. The people who are meant to be in your life will find their ways in or out of it and those who come and stay will be supportive of you fully.

    Good luck man in continuing to change your life. Stay strong :)
     
    eevahnits, Apr 13, 2020
    eevahnits, Apr 13, 2020
    #3

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