Advice ! - My Recovery Story with Relapses

[egedursun]

Hello guys,


Here is my story. I have started to watch porn when i'm 12-13 years old and i continued to watch really often until when i'm 17. I was doing masturbation like 4-5 times a day on average and i was watching porn at least 1-2 of the masturbation sessions.

Then not surprisingly when it came to real deal, i experienced ED. Then i met with this forum and gave up watching porn. It was like 7 months of no porn and no masturbation except real sex. I was having really high quality erections and powerful libido. Then after i got into the college i relapsed and i started watching porn often again. Those were days that i wasn't having sex with a real girl.

Years passed again and now i am 21. I experienced ED again 7 months ago and decided to give up porn again. First 2 months were really bad about erections and they were really low quality, sometimes just limp. Today i just completed 7 months of no porn and in this time i relapsed 5 times. 1 day of them was intentionally searching some girls with stockings at google, 3 day of them was intentionally looking on half naked woman, masturbating to a girl on one of those days, 1 day of looking a girls pussy in a video that i randomly saw on internet.

But today, in my 7th month anniversary, i did something really bad guys. I watched VR Porn with my newly bought VR box device, and i masturbated to them. I didn't even last long, my erection was low quality while watching it, and i felt completely guilty while watching it. But all in all i masturbated to porn. I gave up my recovery process when i was 17 at 7 months too, but this time i don't want to lose my recovery again guys. I am really afraid that if i lost my all recovery process by doing this mistake.

Here are the days of my relapses:
1)67th day
2)81st day
3)169th day
4)176th day
5)192nd day
6)196th day (today - my biggest mistake!)

Do you think 6 days of relapses in 7 months, deleted my recovery process, and if i hurt it so much, how much time do you think i will need to recover again after today's mistake?

 

[Ezpz]

Sounds like you are not putting enough effort into actually recovering from PMO, all you are doing is abstaining.

In my opinion you will know when you are 'recovered', its a point you hit where you know where you will never go back to PMO.

 

[buygenericrx]

You just have to have a self control over yourself and it will work.

 

[Ezpz]

You just have to have a self control over yourself and it will work.

Bad advice. The whole reason its called an addiction is because you have no 'self control'.

 

[Deleted Account]

Unfortunately this is a life long addiction and there is no easy way for any of us to overcome it in my opinion. So many people do 90 days or more and then have to reboot at some point. It's like playing a game where the rules are designed to make you fail. So its never going to be easy to succeed.

Society is the problem here. It's full of sex everywhere you look. Online, offline it does not matter. Website, social media, TV, advert, beach party. It's everywhere. And these days its very easy to meet people through online dating but at the same time. It's also a reason for relationships not lasting long... A double edged sword. Its just so easy to find someone new so why take it seriously to begin with? This eventually leads to long periods of loneliness and sadness.

The outcome porn addiction... Don't hate the player hate the game (cliche but so true in this case).