Advice needed - I want to, but can't delete 'P stash'?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Salt & Light, Nov 25, 2020.

  1. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Is deleting P material stage 1 in the process of recovery or something which often takes weeks or even months to achieve through strength building?

    Hello all, I'm actually reaching out on behalf of my partner (with his permission of course) - we need some advice please.

    My partner has struggled with recoveries for the last 4 years. On-off, on-off.
    The last year has been very difficult, with prolonged relapses and severe depression. However after a recent binge - he started to reflect and now declares he's had enough and actually 'wants' to be rid of this existence. Words I've not heard for a whole year!
    He's started taking medication, meditating and setting daily goals etc.....
    But...
    Declares he's struggling to delete P materials - he cannot let go yet, needs more time. He's already taken months to get to this stage again.

    Is this part if the recovery process? Is deleting material stage 1 in the process of recovery? Or does finding the strength to delete all the P take time, a long time?

    Has anyone else actually 'wanted' to truly RECOVER but struggled to delete the P stash?

    My partner needs some encouragement & hope
    I need to know if this is ever going to get better, can he find the strength through a recovery to come to terms with P separation or is this denial??

    Any and all replies welcome!
    What are your stories?
    What helped you reach this particular milestone?
    Thank you for reading, I hope to hear from you,
    S&L :)
     
  2. Survival 3 Man

    Survival 3 Man Fapstronaut

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    It seems to me he still has lustful desires in his heart, he probably lacks understanding why its so important to get better from not just porn addiction but the lustful heart and instead to start initiating intimacy with his wife. This will seem harsh but he needs to suffer you cant be there comforting him, instead he needs to reach out to Jesus Christ he is the only way powerful enough to kick out lust from his heart. Trust and UNDERSTANDING are key to forming a relationship with God. You care about him give him time to recover no sex for the recovery. Get out of house go walking connect with God good luck this wont be easy.
     
  3. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    whats his longest streak??...& his average streaks in recent times??
     
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  4. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    About 112 days, he also attempted another recovery which lasted around 90 days and I believe another after that - although these were more like abstinence. He's aware he needs to do more than white knuckle.
    He's deleted material in the past, but is struggling this time...
    Recently, I've no idea. Last year he was only downloading - not viewing - this year he's back to viewing and PMO. He's a mess, feels very powerless.
     
  5. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    First thing he need Is to make a Solid resolution that " he isnt going to fap" No matter what....

    then HE HAS TO DELETE those porn material.( if he isnt , then u do it if u want to make him better...) motivate him and tell him.. its not gojng to help. the moment he seems satisfied.. Delete it all at the very moment.. without letting him think twice.. no ifs no buts.

    Set small reachable goals for him.. Like 1 day, 3 days , a week , then a month..( like 4 days left in november motivate him to reach it)

    Download a habit tracking app and mark it daily when a day is completed... or mark a tick on calender .. It Does help alot....

    All is needed is to make a momentum... after that is becomes easy.. Whynot after starting his streak take hime somewhere where he likes to pass some time and gain the rhythm

    post here any query... WE ALL ARE WITH U ...

    May ALLAH make easy for u and ur huaband ..
     
  6. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    what u mean by only abstinence??
     
  7. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much, it's much appreciated - best of luck on your journey. Peace be with you!
     
    PMO addict1 likes this.
  8. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Basically, I mean he will stop PMO or even viewing but he hasn't really conducted a Recovery.
    Meditation, self-help and education, compulsion training etc. He just tries to ignore the addiction, bury it and all associated feelings.
    Rather than work on himself and the root of the addiction itself.
     
  9. Survival 3 Man

    Survival 3 Man Fapstronaut

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  10. PMO addict1

    PMO addict1 Fapstronaut

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    I think abstinence is the first thing.. everything comes after it... First focus should be to stop PMO.. then add healthy activities one by one.. not all at a time.. First let him do NoPMO.. and when he get settled.. then add something other like running, exercising etc.. First priority is reaching a milestone. no matter how... .. tbh.. i completed my first 2-3 days by sleeping all day.. because i was relapsing daily and couldnt reach a single day.. that what helped me..... ookk. good luck on ur journey... try to implement above advice..it will help InshaAllah
     

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