Advice needed

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Daviesmark1, Nov 7, 2018.

  1. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    ok, so this may sound like a kind of stupid post, but I could really do with some advice here.

    I'm 20 and have been attempting nofap for around 2 years, making it to 30 days only once.

    I'm currently on day 3 but feel as though I will continue this time for a while as I have had enough of the pmo side effects, such as: fatigue, lack of confidence, lack of motivation etc.

    I'm still a virgin and the furthest I've ever gone with a girl is just kissing. What I'm worried about is that when the times comes when I do have sex, is that I won't know what I'm doing, which makes me feel embarrassed and is playing on my mind a lot. How do people know what they're doing on the first time without making a complete mess up of things? It's all well and good watching porn, but experiencing it first hand is a totally different matter.

    On Friday I went on a night out with a friend, and approached this girl I liked in a club. I never ususally do this kind of thing, but just went for it. She started dancing with me, but I didn't have the conviction to take things to the next stage, that's my problem. I don't have the confidence, because I don't really know what I'm doing, so I end up losing the situation.

    Does anyone have any advice on how I can overcome this? I get that the more I try approach a girl the better I'll become, but I've often bee not scared to even approach mainly due to worrying about rejection; which I really think is all linked to pmo. It makes you less motivated to meet a girl, less likely to challenge yourself to do things etc
     
  2. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Totally normal situation, fear not!
    You're hear to make serious inroads with quitting masturbation and pornography, so don't connect that with having moves with girls in a club.
    I assume you're quite young so just work on yourself and don't worry about what the first time might be like-it may well not be like what you have seen in Hollywood or pornography.
     
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  3. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply. Yeah, fairly young; I'm 20. I think I'm just worried about what to expect/ especially because guys obviously have to lead. I'm not actively looking for a girlfriend right now, as I have too much on work-wise, that would be too much of a distraction for me atm. But the problem then is you become horny, and the cycle of reverting back to pmo happens..
     
  4. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Girls lead also, in their own way, either directly or giving out signals. I could never spot the signals when I was younger due to a variety of issues, probably including PMO.
    Carry on mate! Women seem to be more friendly and open to communication the longer the nofap goes on...
     
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  5. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice man :)
     

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