Advise needed!!

Should I go back to porn?

  • Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes, but wait a bit more

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • No

    Votes: 24 100.0%
  • Total voters
    24
E

EpicTrashCan12

Fapstronaut
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
Click to expand...
No , for compulsive users it can never been once in a while.
You had a problem so you should not return to porn. Or you'll have others problems
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
Click to expand...
No !

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EpicTrashCan12 said:
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
Click to expand...

Congrats. Quite the feat. Instead of going back to porn, start socializing, flirting, dating, and having sexual relations with people you like! You might have some setbacks and letdowns, but it is so much more fulfilling, satisfying, and pleasurable than any PMO you've ever done. Have fun!
 
Thanks everyone

I am not sure I will be able to make it without porn, though. The reason I was able to get through all this time without it was because I was telling myself "in X days I can watch porn again without having wet dreams if I don't relapse yet". In someways porn has been a part of my weekly routine, is there no way to at least salvage a part of it, even if it's watching a few minutes once after 90 days?
 
What did you expect, asking this forum?

I hear you on including the hope for P as part of your recovery. That means you white knuckled it and that's quite the feat. For a true recovery just shut the whole thing off at the start; when you experience a trigger and think about starting the fantasizing process, derail it and think of something else. You're already halfway there. Your body game is strong, if you get your mind with it you'll be home free.
 
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The thing about porn is it gives us an overload of pleasure. Because it's over the top, normal things in life that would otherwise feel awesome now feel boring...

I'm just assuming you're a guy who's interested in girls? (going by the average forum user)

If that's the case, you really want to be looking to get your 'high' from interacting with women in real life. 90 days is an awesome achievement! However, it can often take longer than this to fully 'rewire'. And connecting with women makes this process faster (and more enjoyable!).

Don't get me wrong: Nobody is saying be Brad Pitt and get 100 girl's numbers by the end of the week... The truth is small things like eye contact, conversation, flirting AND normal conversation with girls ALL HELPS!

You do deserve 'play time' and 'rewards' every day. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".

But you want those rewards to further motivate you to be a better person, rather than live in a fantasy world with a product that is toxic for your brain chemical balance.

So what do you do if you don't have dates lined up for 'intimate fun' but still want a reward?

- treat yourself to an event you like
- meet up with a friend
- get beers and pizza and watch an epic movie
- take a long drive
- challenge yourself to go into town and flirt with 3 women
- work on your hobby for an afternoon
- plan your next holiday
- join a dance class or yoga class (very easy to meet women here)

Things like that should get you up out of bed in the morning!

If you have other areas of your life covered, like health and income, then you may just need to double down and keep PMO out of your life until the things that naturally feel good feel good again. Best of luck!
 
Reborn16 said:
The thing about porn is it gives us an overload of pleasure. Because it's over the top, normal things in life that would otherwise feel awesome now feel boring...

I'm just assuming you're a guy who's interested in girls? (going by the average forum user)

If that's the case, you really want to be looking to get your 'high' from interacting with women in real life. 90 days is an awesome achievement! However, it can often take longer than this to fully 'rewire'. And connecting with women makes this process faster (and more enjoyable!).

Don't get me wrong: Nobody is saying be Brad Pitt and get 100 girl's numbers by the end of the week... The truth is small things like eye contact, conversation, flirting AND normal conversation with girls ALL HELPS!

You do deserve 'play time' and 'rewards' every day. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy".

But you want those rewards to further motivate you to be a better person, rather than live in a fantasy world with a product that is toxic for your brain chemical balance.

So what do you do if you don't have dates lined up for 'intimate fun' but still want a reward?

- treat yourself to an event you like
- meet up with a friend
- get beers and pizza and watch an epic movie
- take a long drive
- challenge yourself to go into town and flirt with 3 women
- work on your hobby for an afternoon
- plan your next holiday
- join a dance class or yoga class (very easy to meet women here)

Things like that should get you up out of bed in the morning!

If you have other areas of your life covered, like health and income, then you may just need to double down and keep PMO out of your life until the things that naturally feel good feel good again. Best of luck!
Click to expand...

@EpicTrashCan12 Fantastic advice. You really did work hard to get this far. Instead of treating yourself with porn, treat yourself with some real fun! Go out, meet people, flirt, and if you're lucky, you'll have some dates and maybe some hookups! Expend your sexual energy with other people, and soon enough you won't even want to treat yourself with porn.

You don't need porn. It's a substitute for the real interactions and real sex you've been missing out on. That's why you use it but feel like shit. That's why you're on this forum.

After sneaking a peak at some porn website, you feel guilty. After sneaking a peek at some cute girl at the bar, you feel excited! At the end of some role play porn, you think "When am I going to stop doing this?!" At the end of a conversation with a girl you like, you think "When do I get to do that again?!" After a 30 minute PMO binge, you feel empty, gross, and alone. After 30 minutes of awesome sex (including foreplay aha), you feel satisfied, confident, and more connected and ever!

Don't stoop so low by treating yourself with porn. You deserve much better, especially after the hard reboot you just did. Go have some fun!
 
Thanks for the advice, everyone

I don't really think I will make it without porn really, and I want to keep my virginity until I'm married, so sex wouldn't really replace it (I also would not be able to have sex with anyone even if I tried)

I imagine there is no porn alternative then? Something erotic that isn't as addicting? Or soft core porn at least?
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Thanks for the advice, everyone

I don't really think I will make it without porn really, and I want to keep my virginity until I'm married, so sex wouldn't really replace it (I also would not be able to have sex with anyone even if I tried)

I imagine there is no porn alternative then? Something erotic that isn't as addicting? Or soft core porn at least?
Click to expand...

Just curious but why do you want to be a virgin until marriage?
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Religious reasons
Click to expand...

In the brain of a man, there is no difference between watching porn and masturbating and having sex before you get married. It's the same energy, the internal is the external, the movement of lust (especially from a religious point of view). You are not doing yourself any favors by sticking to porn and waiting for a marriage. From both an addiction perspective and a moral perspective and probably more such perspectives.

I am not religious, but there seems to be a broken link nowadays, the true underlying reasons that go with the "rules" and teachings of any religion seem to be very surface. Any sanctity to be had truly must be in the entire being (you), internal and external.

I am just saying the addict brain lies (not singling you out, we all have done it before).

You are capable of living without P. If you can do 90 days, you can do 900.
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Thanks for the advice, everyone

I don't really think I will make it without porn really, and I want to keep my virginity until I'm married, so sex wouldn't really replace it (I also would not be able to have sex with anyone even if I tried)

I imagine there is no porn alternative then? Something erotic that isn't as addicting? Or soft core porn at least?
Click to expand...

There is a disconnect here IMO. You want to keep your virginity until marriage, but you want to go back to something that has caused many members here to develop PIED and unable to perform with a real female.

Do you have a girlfriend now? If not, you won’t find one by jacking off to porn. In fact, porn can make you less motivated to go out and find a real relationship when you can just rub one out without leaving home.

Be careful with religious reasons. In Christianity, just looking at a woman lustfully is considered the same as actual adultery. It’s too easy to slip into a toxic faith situation and turn to a secret hidden life because of the allure of forbidden fruit.

Your mind is still a slave to porn, and we all struggle with this or we wouldn’t be here. Listen to the good advice offered by the others here.
 
If it's possible to go back to porn I'd watch it without lust or masturbation. I would imagine porn without lust as something like seeing a food without getting hungry
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
If it's possible to go back to porn I'd watch it without lust or masturbation. I would imagine porn without lust as something like seeing a food without getting hungry
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You’re lying to yourself. Your addict wants you to go back. You need to free yourself from lust, how do u look at porn without lusting? I’m truly curious? God tells us to keep our thoughts pure as well as our bodies.
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
Click to expand...
No sir, I'd agree that it is safer to return to masturbation only rather than porn. But for the love of God don't make the mistake of reintroducing porn into your life. As the known statement goes "Once an addict, always an addict"
 
EpicTrashCan12 said:
Greetings everyone

I have been free from PMO for exactly 91 days now. My objective when I started was to able to watch porn without having to masturbate or have wet dreams. Now that I have completed the reboot, is it safe to return to porn? Thank you
Click to expand...

I mean honestly dude everyone has different goals when it comes to their own demons and addictions. If you personally want to incorporate porn back into your life no one is gonna stop you. In my honest opinion your gonna be undoing a lot work that has already went into rewriting your brain and in my opinion you’ll be back to binging pretty quickly. This is kind of a all or nothing life decision. You can’t have your cake and eat too.
 
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