Advise to expand social life?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Moscote7, Dec 7, 2018.

  1. Moscote7

    Moscote7 New Fapstronaut

    I am 24, a graduate school student in Architecture. I am writing my thesis now, so I spend lots of time by myself at writing. Other form the thesis, I hit the gym every morning at 6 to 8, I have Japanese classes 2 times a week.

    I have not having any sort of social life for almost 2 years, I think I've only hang with my friends (in other cities) may about 5 times for the last year. Only on special occasions they came to visit me.

    I actually suffer from social anxiety for a long time, it's the main reason I want to stop PMO.

    I want to expand my social life, I don't think that spend the whole month by myself is healthy.

    Is it a good idea to approach girls at the gym or the Japanese class ? Since I don't want it to become awkward, so I have to change a gym or class....

    I do get to know a few guys at the gym eventually we said good morning and maybe have some small talk about working out, nothing more.

    Any advise for me to expand my social life? I guess I've been living alone for too long that this life routine is a really strong habit.
    Atlanticus likes this.
  2. Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant

    Thanks for the intro; sounds real.

    So... to me it all depends on the _actual_ agenda. If _social_ life is really meant to be social, it's one thing; if the top priority is sexual, it's another.

    Personally -- and this is coming from a guy who's "never met a stranger" I'd stick to the former, for now. By all means we should talk to girls if/when we enjoy doing so, but more importantly we should talk to _people_ of all kinds... and see what happens. The trick to getting a social life is to _give_ people real communication; feel free to initiate, but keep it light and real - especially real.

    Those who respond will. Those who appreciate it will show it. No need to push. I can hardly step into a coffee shop without a conversation or an exchange of address or something, but it's gotta be a two-way street, not a personal "must have." If we keep it light the first time, we'll quickly notice who'll respond well the next time we meet.

    I think it's a good idea, therefore, to hang out in a particular place -- or 2 or 3 -- regularly. Do some work in a coffee shop?

    Good luck!
  3. Moscote7

    Moscote7 New Fapstronaut



    These are good advises for me to practice. I am looking for both kind of agendas. But I don't want to set any presumptions or limits to any encounter or individuals.

    So thanks for the tip to keep it light and real~ Also I have to be patient, to realized that these changes shall take times.

    I think I will take my readings to a cafe or some other places but my working space. Since I prefer absolute solitude when I am writing.
    For now I'll tried to open up some of my daily routines rather then finding new stuff to do. One step a time~
    Atlanticus likes this.
  4. Individuate

    Individuate Fapstronaut

    First thing: get rid of the Social Anxiety by any means you can.
    There's many ways. Research.
    I could not function before with extreme anxiety, now IDGAF.
    Try to get rid of it then you can do anything.
    Try meditation.

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