Afraid of women

You said that since high school you had broken fears, I don't think it differs much.
I suggest you to deal with it from 3 different approaches:
1. It has some psychological roots, so you need to work them out in order to liberate yourself (most likely childhood problems - for example not enough unconditional love from parents, etc.). Its a big topic.
2. You should study what is fear and techniques to stop/diminish it (imagining the worst possible scenario and accepting it, presence at the right moment, mindfulness exercises, breathing, meditation, etc.).
3. You should practice approaching/getting in touch with women. Probably better to start with rather not difficult stuff (what you consider not too difficult) like someone you know a little, or friend of your friend and so on (using techniques from #2). Then you can move to more difficult stuff like cold approaching women on the street (you can do it to get rejected in purpose, for example be stupid and have some fun).
It's your own fear what makes you uncomfortable, not interacting with women.
It's ok to have fears, I try to get rid of some of them also, for me for example public speaking is one of the biggest ones.
Good luck!

 

Well my friend i am a psychologist and i'll give you my two cents on the matter.
From what you say and the replies you've given the roots of this problem lie in childhood. In this case what you say about the relationship with your mother really comes to attention, because from what i can understand the person who fulfilled basically almost all of your emotional needs during this important period of your life was your mother, your father on the other hand being cold and distant. The result of this being the fact you are not sure on how to approach other types of affection, in this case romantic love resulting in being unsure and uneasy when being around women. Since this is an area beyond the comfort zone you've been into for most of your life.
This is not something to beat yourself up over, it is relatively common and not one of these one in a million cases.
As for what could help. Well, it is true you were not given the tools and needed advice for this kind of situations when you were younger, but now that you are an adult you have the capability to do research on your own on the topics you were not educated on, this is good because you can form your own opinions and conclusions.

Another thing to note here and you need to remember this. All of us have different priorities, and finding a partner has a different meaning for everyone of us. However do keep in mind that while finding a girlfriend is all good, at the end of the day it's only a supplement of the things which make life good. It's like protein shakes, it complements the things you are already doing. What you do isn't to find someone to attach yourself to or become an extension of you, or even to complete you. Those are myths society tend to try selling us. A relationship, a good one as such is one where both people share their lives and all the things which make them who they are.

Sometimes what makes things harder is we idealize having a girlfriend more than we should, and that is in a way normal. I think you're unconsciously considering nearly every girl you meet or want to talk to as girlfriend material, something many of us have done at some point of our lives. Working on this could be a first step, assign things the value they have. Girls are just regular human beings like you and me, they're not eldritch horrors set to purge your mind of every bit of sanity you have. They might as well have the very same insecurities and doubts as you.

Also you are not a loser just because you don't have a girl. As soon as you understand this and that it's only a complement of a good life. Things will flow naturally from there.
Go one step at a time. Don't try to build a skyscraper from the top floor.

 

Buddy you aren’t alone. What your describing is exactly the same problem I’m having. My father didn’t know anything about women, he just got cold approached by one in college. (Or so he tells me, lol). My mother gave me enough love but always said “Someday it will happen...” So, I never got advice on women from my parents. My friends in school and adulthood weren’t any help either. They had no idea what to do with women.

 

Hello Platinum24.

I totally understand that this must be a very stressful period in your life. I understand that you are forced to hold on in your present situation while life trying to make you give up. Your persistence and tenacity are heightened this time and makes you feel that you should defend your present condition and not allow to change yourself. This is an illusion! In the face of this pressure it is often better to surrender than to take a hard line and hold on. Whatever is being changed usually needs to change, and you will gain little by holding on, except to delay the inevitable!

As you already know you are under a psychological transformation in which things within you try to break through the patterns of resistance and tension that you have built up in your life. It is like you have build a strong armour which doesn’t allow you to get hurt. Hurt of what mate? have you thought of it? I know that breaking through and get free of these patterns can be quite painful, or it seems to be, but for the most part you would be better off to let it happen. It is a regenerative stage in your life, which you should allow to happen and because you don’t let go, you feel disorientation for the moment. But this shall pass.

Allow yourself to succumb to the changes that need to be made. The more you resist, the more painful it will become.
Where are you from mate?

 

you did it once, you can do it again. some of us will die virgins

 

When I hit day 90 I had so much mental clarity that I just asked girls out in public and wasn't even worried. Even got rejected in front of tons of people but gave zero shits. But when I have cumbrain I'm terrified of women just like you are. Focus on the streak and improving yourself and the confidence will come naturally.