Afraid she'll run if she knew about your PMO

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Merovingian, Jan 14, 2018.

  1. Katrina Rose

    Katrina Rose Fapstronaut

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    She'll never believe you.
    Unless you two were very close to begin with.
    We take everything very personally.
     
  2. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    Why do you think she will not believe me? And yes were in my opinion very close, i can't decide from her side but i think it is a good sign that even when we were not talking she bought me a little present on her holiday while she only did that for a few people.
     
  3. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    Some progress in my story.

    She did not reply to my text. I thought okay i'll let her maybe she needs more time. However one hour ago i came across her on the streets we where both on our bikes. I asked her if she did read my text and then asked her if i could tell my story to her. She didn't reply to my questions and started to bike faster to house, i saw that she was crying...
     
  4. Merovingian

    Merovingian Fapstronaut

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    You need to give her some significant space. There is a very real psychological phenomenon called "Reactance Theory" whereas if you continue to push you're only going to push her further away. You need to back off for weeks if she had that kind of emotional reaction to you.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactance_(psychology)
     
  5. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the comment man! I really appreciate it. That is also what i thought and had in plans at first as well. So i guess i will stick to my first plan and give her some time and space. Past months have been really turbulent for her as well. Her father passed away, guy from past relationship married with the girl he cheated on her, she is not speaking to her mom anymore last time i talked to her due to a fight (not sure this is still the case)

    I have my ideas why the emotions popped up. But without framing you, what is your take? Or any other's that read here as well of course :)
     
  6. kingpietro

    kingpietro Fapstronaut

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    It all depends on how you tell it.

    Tell her it in a confidence manly way say something i want to improve myself and that’s why i am doing nofap(no porn) to become a stronger and mentally better person. Woman like it when man triest o become stronger mentally

    But don't say it in a nice guy way : would you still like me if told you my secret?


    By the way chicks dick scars when you are open about you're weaknesses withouth asking approval girls love that its a sign you don't care about her approval.
     
  7. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    If you did not right the posts on previous pages you will not get this story haha

    Somethings happened don't know why i did not write it here before, i am curious towards you guys opinions about it.

    So with valentine's day i sent her a card (well.. brought it to her since she lives across the street). This was the time i wanted to meet her and planned to tell her about my PMO and ED. I did not get a response on the valentine's card but saw the she was peeking from between the curtains towards my house that same night.

    The next day i went to her house and surprisingly we had a nice conversation about normal stuff. She is doing a Phd and we were just talking about some general things. I asked her if she wanted to come outside for a walk so i could tell her the things i wanted. She did not want to go she said she was tired and she was already in pajamas. She proposed to meet in the weekend and i said i could not because i was away that weekend, we agreed then to meet in the next week.

    So in the next week i went to her door again. She opened the door in an angry way and told me i disturbed the house because her sister was learning. I asked her when we would meet then so i could tell her the things i want and she replied that she did not know, then i asked her she would ever want to hear my story and then she replied with that she did not know that. I returned home annoyed and flabbergasted and decided to write her a long text message explaining about my ED. I really wanted to tell her it face to face but i had to throw it of my chest. I told her i was bothered with her behavior but did not want to judge her, since i have no idea how she is feeling.

    Since then there basically has been no contact between us for a month. Last week i sent her a text again in which i said that i understand that after everything that happens she needs time and space and that i will provide it and will not be pushy. I also said that she is still on my mind and that i hope we will talk again. I ended the message with that i will be there for her whenever she needs me.

    This week i came across her again when she was walking the dog. I stopped to say "hi", i saw that she did not want to talk and tried to walk away and keep the conversation short. I asked is she received the text and she said yes. Then i said to her again but now face to face that i will not be pushy and that she is still on my mind.

    I can't wait to talk to her again, and every vibe in my body wants to go to her door just to say the things i want to say. I really see a different version of her. She is almost always home now and not smiling when she leaves the house.
     
  8. Sorry but I think if anything happens with this woman it will end and end badly.
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  9. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly, as a woman my opinion is this girl is not interested in you, never really was, and it has nothing to do with whether or not you told her about your PMO. What you are doing now is totally creeping her out because she is not interested in you, and since she lives across the street from you she cannot avoid seeing you. She was nice to you and friendly, and you took it as something else. As a woman who has been creeped out by men that act like this please leave her alone and move on. What about the above scenario makes you think she’s interested in you? She’s afraid of you. Please for your own good and for hers leave her alone. Do not go to her house, do not text her, leave her be.
     
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  10. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    Hmm i appreciate your responses. But then why did she sleep at my place multiple times and went to see me every day for a month until her dad past away? And why would she seek contact again after christmas to give me a gift and tells me she buys it only for people that are special to her after a period of none contact?

    Trust me i do try to see your point and not to hear only what would fit my story.

    ps: also i do leave her alone, don't worry :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2018
  11. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Because she saw you as a friend, she relied on you for support, and she thought you felt the same way. I buy gifts for my friends all the time, particularly when they support me through rough times. Then you expressed to her that you want more and she did not so she pulled away. Or maybe she was interested in you then, but she is not now? The scenario you currently describe is not a woman that is interested in seeing you. Dating people that are interested in you is not this hard, not this much work, and does not involve chasing someone around. If you don’t believe me just say to her, I am interested in having a relationship with you, and see what she says, then you will have your answer and you can both move forward. But if a guy comes to my house, that I am interested in I will change out of my pajamas and go for a walk. If a guy I am interested in buys me a Valentine’s Day card, I will be over the moon. I will text him a thank you, and buy him a card in return. I would not open the door in an angry way, even if the man was disturbing my family. If a man I was interested in wanting to tell me something, and told me how important it was, I would not tell him that I was not sure I wanted to know. I would make time for him so that he could share what he needed to share with me. I would not not initiate contact with a man I was interested in for a long period of time. I would not not respond to a text that he sent me pouring his heart out about something that was personal to him, and hard to share. I would respond I would ask how I could help, I would show him empathy.

    You are sending texts and she is not responding. How much more do you need to know? If I were interested in a man I would not ignore him when he passed by, I would not try to get away. If this woman wants to reach out to you, she knows you are interested. You do not have to chase women like this. A woman who is interested in you will not behave like this. She’s not interested, I don’t know why, but your ongoing behavior is creepy. And you most likely are not creepy, but you are acting that way. She may all the police on you soon, and I am not kidding. What do you mean you have tried to leave her alone? If you no longer initiated contact with her, then you would no longer have any contact. She is not reaching out to you, you are reaching out to her.

    Someday you will find a woman who loves you, and who is interested in you and you will see what I mean. This woman is not. Why, I don’t know? Even presuming I am wrong, and she is (which I doubt), she is not treating you right, she is playing games, and being rude, and you deserve better dude, just move on.
     
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  12. determined1223

    determined1223 Fapstronaut

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    I am not disagreeing with you that she is not interested in me at this moment, i know that is quite obvious (even for a guy;) )

    I am pretty sure she was interested in me before but the point her father died was a turning point. Also one week later she heard that the guy she had a relationship with for 5 years married the girl he cheated her with in less then a year. My opinion and that of friends (including many female) around me is that she does not want love at this time and first needs time and space to deal with these things. Also the fact that she just temporary living in the country does probably not help.
     
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  13. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    All of those explanations could be why she’s not interested but It’s not worth your time to try and figure out why she’s not interested. You may never know for sure and even if she gives you a reason it may not make sense to you. Sometimes in life we just have to live without closure or answers. But at this point putting anymore energy into this is a waste of your time, and likely to creep her out. Find someone that feels about you the way you feel about them, she does not.
     
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