After 150+ days clean I relapsed

Keep working at it. This will stick with us for life; it will never genuinely go away. We must learn to live with this disease.

 

150 days is nothing to sneeze at. You rock. I'm on day 5 now... It's the longest in a while. 6 weeks was my best a few years ago.

Time to get up and stay strong.

I wouldn't stress about the girlfriend thing. I used to hate being alone on a Friday night...like it was a waste. In fact I could be productive on a Friday, but I would have felt better if I was lazy with just one person with me. Later I learned that my own company was good enough for me and that it was just the beginning.

 

The purpose of life, relationships is to grow, you should be worried about the fact that things will end, you should always be self-fish and thinking to your self, "what am i learning about myself", "how am i gaining something", and when someone turns you down you need to reframe that impact into something more positive so you gain more momentum

 

"or we stay together until someone despises the other". But does that mean the relationship was a failure?

 

I think that almost half a year no PMO is pretty amazing. Relapse sucks but that just means you need to change your strategy.

One thing to maybe ask yourself is this: Am I going to be no PMO for the rest of my life or just until I get a girlfriend or wife? Will you then O but with another human being the natural way? Or are you trying to live a celibate life? It sounds like you may have been going towards a celibate lifestyle but really wanted a partner. Just a thought. I'm personally married so I know what my goal is

 

My girlfriends always started from other social situations. I don't think I've ever had a date or a girlfriend from just asking a stranger out on a date. Take a class in something you're interested in. Get a hobby that involves other people. That's my suggestion. Best of luck!

 

That's a crucial realization if you want to find true happiness in a relationship. As clichéd as it may sound, you need to be happy spending time with just yourself and like and love yourself before you can truly share that with another person. Plus it makes you so much more attractive when you like yourself and are content spending time alone. As the saying goes, date yourself and enjoy it before you start dating someone else. Sure you could get into a relationship and not have these things, but it will probably fail and you will be miserable and alone just as you were before.

 

I can relate to that. You think ok 'I'm on a 150 days streak but I'm nowhere near to have a girlfriend'. This is even more apparent if positive results don't show. As you said this negative mindset is something to work on, however I think that we have to make sure we get better habits and positive results out of that abstinence. If not, in 150 days the relapse will be inevitable.

Good luck mate

 

Hey man,

Don't give up.

Success is not built on success. It's built on failure. It's built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.
Sumner Redstone


Did you feel changes at day 150 or in the process?

Will