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After 200 days

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Phoenix, Dec 27, 2020.

Tags:

DO ANYONE OF YOU FEEL LIKE THIS OR EVER FELT?

  1. YES

  2. NO

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  1. Dec 27, 2020 #1
    Phoenix

    Phoenix Fapstronaut

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    This is my 1st day here, and I just want to know whether I am normal or not..


    SEE the thing now is that
    I have lost interest, comfort while talking to people.
    I just talk for the sake of filling silence,it's like"oh,now I can say this","now i can make something joke like this".
    I really feel relief when I come home after being with someone and infact I feel the same with family also,nothing for a conversation comes to my mind.Although I laugh at some jokes but after that I feel weird as"now what I have to say". I just can't stand people nowadays.
    I Either like reading or watching something and I really feel relief in that
    My BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE:I am abstaining from mastburation since 200 days,have become vegetarian since 6-7 months,no bf,and i hopefully think that i am on flatline now and that i what all i am experiencing is perfectly normal
    I have lost interest from:
    talking with people
    buying clothes
    buying anything
    I do like
    playing badminton
    reading
    dancing
    yoga
    sleeping
    nowdays
    and i feel like i just want to cry but i can't cry
    because that will lower my vibrations and also it just don't come out
    AND a bit of like that i just want to go in sky
    want to get rid of all these things
    just some peaceful place
    AND
    I have done meditation also for few months but nowadays i am not doing it coz i want things to be normal,but nothing became normal
    Hope you are doing well...
     
    Phoenix, Dec 27, 2020
    Phoenix, Dec 27, 2020
    #1
    Maurice00 and RockyRocky like this.
  2. Dec 27, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

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    Congratulations for 200 Days @Phoenix .
    Are there any Emotional problems in your Life?
    Which things do you Want Normal?
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2020
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2020
    #2
  3. Dec 27, 2020 #3
    Phoenix

    Phoenix Fapstronaut

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    I don't know man, I think I am just experiencing flatline
    Earlier I used to think that it's covid lockdown implication but then it clicked that I am also on abstinence and hopefully I am experiencing that "DOPAMINE VOID" and not any mental or self-esteem issue.
    Thanks for the reply btw, It made me feel good genuinely
     
    Phoenix, Dec 27, 2020
    Phoenix, Dec 27, 2020
    #3
    RockyRocky likes this.
  4. Dec 27, 2020 #4
    Indurian

    Indurian Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I've been through what you describe. It may take time but you will recover though. I don't know why porn does this to us but it seems to suck any enjoyment out of life. You've discovered this at a young age which is great. Just do your best to keep going.
     
    Indurian, Dec 27, 2020
    Indurian, Dec 27, 2020
    #4
    zeref dragneel, Phoenix and RockyRocky like this.
  5. Dec 27, 2020 #5
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    You are Always Welcome @Phoenix.
    Don't quit Meditation.
    It will help you alot.
    Your Intent should not to be thoughtless during Meditation.
    Your Intent Should be "Focus on your Breath.
    When you Do meditation lot of thoughts will come in your mind, sometimes you'll lose yourself in those thoughts.As soon as you realise you losed yourself in your thoughts, come back and focus on your Breath.Bcoz you can't avoid breathing so after some time you'll learn how to control your thoughts.
    Remember you are not your mind. You are an Observer of Your Mind.

    You asked in starting of your post that I want to know whether am i normal or not.
    Why @Phoenix ??
    What do you think, People who have never met you will tell you you are normal or not and you believe in them??
    Ask this Question to yourself bcoz nobody knows you better than you do.
    When i read your post i felt that bcoz a year ago i was in same condition.
    Take a Paper and pen and write down what do you feel.why don't you like to talk to people and whatever questions you have in your Personal life it will help you to understand yourself better.
    • Always Remember Meditation is Very Important.
    Sorry for the Long Post @Phoenix
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2020
    Deleted Account, Dec 27, 2020
    #5
    Phoenix likes this.
  6. Dec 28, 2020 #6
    Phoenix

    Phoenix Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much, buddy. But I didn't use to watch porn, just abstinence of bodily pleasure..
    How many days did it take for you to become normal??
     
    Phoenix, Dec 28, 2020
    Phoenix, Dec 28, 2020
    #6
  7. Dec 28, 2020 #7
    Phoenix

    Phoenix Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much buddy for your support.
    I just wanted to ask "whether whatever I am experiencing is normal or not". But you were also right about writing it all down
    A few months back, I was a normal social person
    Only nowadays I am starting to experience all this
    Can You focus on your breath without controlling it?
     
    Phoenix, Dec 28, 2020
    Phoenix, Dec 28, 2020
    #7
    RockyRocky likes this.
  8. Dec 28, 2020 #8
    Helluvanight

    Helluvanight Fapstronaut

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    Eat some high quality meat, sounds like a lack of nutrients.
     
    Helluvanight, Dec 28, 2020
    Helluvanight, Dec 28, 2020
    #8
  9. Dec 28, 2020 #9
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Porn and Masturbation somehow destroys action reward system in our brains.
    It is associated with happy Hormone Dopamine.
    Dopamine is also released when you eat Good food, when you watch best movies, when people praises you.
    I think so social anxiety is caused due to porn and masturbation because we feel guilty inside. Our sub-conscious mind is always telling telling us that you did wrong. Other people are better than you. Then we don't want to meet people or talk to them.
    This might be the reason you have social anxiety @Phoenix .

    Can you focus on your Breath without controling it?
    I didn't understand your Question.
    pls Elaborate
     
    Deleted Account, Dec 28, 2020
    Deleted Account, Dec 28, 2020
    #9
  10. Dec 29, 2020 #10
    Phoenix

    Phoenix Fapstronaut

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    I wasn't a person like this earlier, it's only a
    Umm,can you elaborate on how did you exactly feel?

    few weeks ago this social
     
    Phoenix, Dec 29, 2020
    Phoenix, Dec 29, 2020
    #10
    RockyRocky likes this.

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