After 5 years drug,alcohol and pmo free, why i'm going back to see my psychotherapist

Hi Guys

I've been 'through the mill' of drug addiction, porn addiction, self abuse, suicide attempt and death threats and have a criminal record. Today i'm nearly 5 years clean from drugs, alcohol and porn and i struggled for a long time to break free of these chains, especially during the last 5 years of my using when i decided i wanted to stop, but couldn't.

When I was arrested and all my skeletons came out of the closet, that put the fear of god in me and gave me the gift of desperation i needed to go out and get proper help from wherever i could find it, Cocaine Anonymous, Psychotherapy, This site, Reading books and talking to people. All this helped to put me on the right track.

Today, i find myself on a kind of plateau in life, I'm not going backwards, but I'm not moving forwards in the way i want to be. I have a job and material things but what i lack the most is true companionship. Because of the nature of my offense, i have a certain stigma attached to me, some may say it's well deserved and I don't deny that i deserved to be punished for my offense

Spoiler: Warning!

(Downloading indecent images of minors)

these days, i want to help prevent people from going too far down the rabbit hole of online porn, like i did and paid the price for.

So why, if i no longer want to use or engage in my bad habbits do i want to go back to see my psychotherapist? well what we need to to realise is that for people like us who have experienced addiction, compulsive behaviour problems etc, we always have to be one step ahead and pro active, learning to recognize when you are not feeling 'OK' is important and when you need to speak to someone about it.

We can only make progress not perfection, I don't believe any addict becomes truly 100% 'cured' but that's not to say they can't live their life without having to use again, because life is a puzzle not pieced yet, we can only try and prepare ourselves and keep on top of things. So if you are struggling yourself, don't be afraid to get help. We are all learning new things every day about ourselves and each other.