After 90 days of Hard mode - Sickness and setbacks

Hello world.

Who am I ?
I've been struggling with a porn addiction since I was 14. I'm currently 21 and I'm a student. I tried NoFap for the first time in 2014, and my streak was on 55 days. This is 3 years ago.

My journey to reaching 90 days
I started NoFap again in January, and the only difference now compared to 2014 is my experience. I've been trying it on and off since 2014. In other words, I knew what would make me relapse.

Day 0-30
After 30 days, everything was going great. My confidence was slowly building up and my anxiety was drifting away. This was a day by day thing, so I really didn't notice it, until now. In retrospect, the first 30 days was hard, however I felt really good towards day 30.

Day 30 - 70
Between day 30-70 I got sick and injured. I got a cold, bronchitis, pneumonia and hurt my knee really bad after working out. I'm used to dealing with set backs, but this was something totally new. Facing one problem after the other really challenged my mindset. I had a lot of spare time on my hands, which made this period very challenging. It's really important in situations like these to not fall for the tricks your mind is playing.
-"Just one time"
-"It's not gonna hurt you"
-"Is really masturbation bad for you?"
Questions you already know the answer to. Be strong, the battle is going on in your mind. Reading books and setting daily goals really helped me. Small things like :
- Taking a shower
- Getting out of bed
- Taking a walk
- Reading 10 pages of a book.
- Meditate for 20 minutes
It made me feel like I've actually accomplished something, instead of being sick and in bed. Between day 40-45 I started to have a bunch of wet dreams, which made me feel pretty shit about myself. Even though it's a natural way and totally normal. The key to solving this is MEDITATION, it helped me a lot, and not only in that aspect of life, but in feeling more aware about my existence.

Day 70-90
All the way up to day 70-75, I really felt like shit. I was so drained from Pnemonia and being sick for a longer period of time. But it's in the darkest times you learn the most about yourself. I remember especially thinking so many guys that achieved superpowers, and I didn't feel shit. I was at day 70, however around day 80 things started to turn. I felt this sudden urge to excel in life. I wrote down things I want to improve in, and started investing a lot of time in how to get better. The grind and the motivation just bounced back, "after all these years". And if you don't feel any superpowers or fancy shit like that, even at day 90, don't worry. Just work on yourself, set goals, small or big, depending on your situation and move forward. That's what's important; just try and move forward, this is your race and your life.

What now?
Now that've reached day 90, I can take a break right? like a little vacation?Little fap maybe? Fuck no. I've only started. This is the start of my journey and I know I'm going achieve great things. I need to work hard and be patient.

Dealing with setbacks
This might be your first try, or your 100th. Most of the guys here have relapsed a couple of times, so there is no shame in that. Just try again and learn from your mistakes. This is not easy, however it's worth it. It's an investment you make in yourself. I used to look at a bunch of reddit posts and be so jealous of these guys that've been doing this for years and had insane stories. And I used to compare myself to their stories. "At day 56, this guy had a really big confidence boost, and I feel nothing" and that is okay. Use their stories as inspiration, not to beat yourself up. Relapses are so hard to deal with, I know, but from every relapse you will come back stronger, no matter what.

Message to the fighters out there!
I believe in you. We all have a lot of potential, we can become anything we want as long as we set our minds to it. Doing NoFap will make you have a lot of spare time, so use it well. Fulfill your potential. Don't just sit around, set goals and crush them! Again I believe in you and if I made it, then so can you. You might make it on your first try , after 3 years, or even after 10 years, but that doesn't matter. As long as you're trying, you're doing it right.

 

Hey man! You can do it.
Wish you all the best !

 

Thank you, you're on the right path !

 

That's very true. I think after all the years with P, people think it's normal to feel that way. Being sad, depressed and unmotivated. Suddenly after NoFap you feel this burst of energy and you feel confident in yourself, something you haven't felt in a long time. Again it's all about perspective.

I look forward to see your 90 day post, my friend

 

Hey man,
I still do meditation and you have to do it consecutively. It's so great that you've started the habit of meditation, there are som many great health benefits to it. I had wet dreams even when I was meditating, but after around 2 weeks, they started to stop. Again this is just me, so if it takes shorter or longer time, don't worry.
I hope this helped. Keep on fighting !

 

Thank you for the translation Oskar Kantor.

 

Awesome Laz! Wish you the best bro

 

Makes me so happy man! I hope you've gained a lot of experience from it. Best of luck in the future

 

Yes Lyart, you have my permission. It's amazing that you take the time and effort to help others. Best of luck bro!

 

Thank you! Realizing what you just mentioned is a crucial part to break the habit. You're on the right path.