After NoFap, will you masturbate?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seth, Jan 4, 2016.

After NoFap, do you intend to masturbate occasionally?

  1. Yes

    17.4%
  2. No

    64.3%
  3. Uncertain

    18.3%
  1. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    No I had a 102 day streak about a year ago. It was my first serious attempt at NoFap. After that I always relapsed after a few weeks. Sometimes to Erotica sometimes I just M'ed.
     
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  2. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your input. I know this is something I can be honest with - i think showing confidence makes it attractive. For instance, if you have ED, if you tell the girl beforehand opposed to just hoping for a good performance, that can actually make you more attractive.
     
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  3. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I agree with this. It can feel special to reach orgasm at the same time. I usually consider it a mark of good performance
     
  4. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    @AlltheRageBackHome - You make an interesting point. Withholding semen allows you to last long, which has it's benefits.

    @IGY - you made a counter argument that lasting longer isn't always better.

    I agree with both of you (no reason to fight). A longer duration of penetration isn't always better as I've been with a girl who could easily cum through penetration alone. On the flip side, I've been with a girl who needed simultaneous clit stimulation to cum. The former girl would enjoy 40-50 minutes of sex, while the latter girl would get sore after 30 minutes. Women are different.

    When I did my 87 day hard mode streak, I did it with a girlfriend and had plenty of gentle sex (withholding self orgasm). It was empowering to know I could last long without orgasm especially when I was so sensitive. However, I didn't like it. I would get very close to cumming and then we'd have to stop because I would cum in one more thrust.

    So I'm not a proponent of withholding semen during sex, as I think it doesn't make you last much longer anyway.
     
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  5. No need to fight I agree. I'd like to kindly express that the above quote wasn't my point. I wasn't saying that being hard longer is what causes the female to cum. I was simply saying that being harder longer allows for longer sex generally. Men generally cum quicker than females. This is a known thing. When a guy doesn't cum, he is then ready for his woman to go another round at any given time. There are literally no disadvantages to holding the semen in when having sex. There are all types of benefits, including multiple orgasms, not just lasting longer etc... I've done both. Used to cum, was great, started retaining semen while having sex and honestly found sex more enjoyable.

    You can last as long as you wish to. Maybe you didn't like it because you didn't have orgasm while retaining. That is something you have to learn.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 5, 2016
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  6. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I misspoke. I agree there is no downside to always being ready to have sex (by withholding semen). However, I have found it difficult to last too long even when withholding semen. For instance,

    When I was PMO'ing I could last ~ 25 minutes plus or minus 10.
    When on a no PMO streak, I'd last ~10 minutes plus or minus 5 whether or not I was withholding semen. Because if withholding semen, I would have to stop when one more thrust would cause ejaculation. I wouldn't necessarily last longer because I was withholding my own orgasm. Sure I could last longer by interrupting the sex with foreplay, but still it felt like I had a limited number of thrusts before I'd have to stop.
     
  7. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    I can see why you think it only comes with advantages. Even if you wanted to cum you could just do it I guess, so there's no real downside to being able to control one's erection. Any tips on how you did that? Did you do kegels or just practice? I think a part of it is just having sex without the mentality that you want to cum but rather enjoying the way there as much as possible.
     
  8. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    It's simply practice, and ideally with a girlfriend that knows exactly what you're going through. However, I found it very difficult. It wasn't as difficult to withhold ejaculating as I thought it would be - I would just get as close to orgasm as I could and then stop. It wasn't as dissatisfying as I thought it might have been.

    However, as I said in the previous post, it was very difficult to last long. Even though I was maintaining my erection by not ejaculating, once I got close to orgasm, it was very very difficult to last much longer. Even if I stopped sex, waited until losing the erection, as soon as we'd continue back to sex, I would be incredibly close to orgasm.
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2016
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  9. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

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    Yes makes sense. You brought your body close to orgasm and it expected orgasm to happen. So now when you go at it again the body is still there and wants to get the semen out.
     
  10. Well, that's the thing. Back in the day, I used to edge for ages. I didn't actually know that by doing this I was training myself to last longer in the bedroom. Of course, now, I'd never advocate edging and it isn't something I do now, ever. However, the experience of edging for hours trains your penis and brain to be more in control of ejaculation. There was a small scientific article about this as well, that men who generally edge for about 30 minutes without cumming last a lot longer in the bedroom. I used to edge for a couple of hours sometimes... I've never used kegels or anything.

    I started noticing the difference when I'd be having like, 45 minute sex sessions with a girl I was dating a couple of years ago. Then, as time went on, the session with women started to last longer and longer, until I actually started to do the research on what was actually happening.

    Most guys might not find the process holding the semen in while having sex pleasurable, because they are not aware, and don't believe the fact that you can have orgasm without ejaculation. Other men will often attack you because they are not experiencing these amazing pleasures themselves. I've had normal ejaculation orgasms and they are nothing compared to brain orgasms. Nothing even close to it. The more you practice retaining the semen, the easier it gets over time.

    Most of what I learned, I learned from the book "The Multi Orgasmic Man", by Mantak Chia. Of course, not all of the exercises that are suggested in the book I do, but the general gist of the book is good and teaches you the seperation of orgasm and ejaculation. They are not linked. We've just trained our brain to have them at the same time, when actually, you don't have to.

    People argue about this I think, mainly because they have never experienced brain orgasms and orgasms without ejaculation, so they probably just think I'm waffling, even though I've literally had the experiences myself and know that brain orgasms are much more enjoyable. It's available to anyone.
     
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  11. JCMD_hi

    JCMD_hi Fapstronaut

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    I'm not sure yet. I plan on reaching 90 days and going from there. I find that when I relapse I feel awful but this, I think, is good because it means I need real intimacy but because I'm only 16 I don't want to lose my virginity yet (even if I did I doubt I could right now). I hope when I do I really enjoy it but what worries me is that I'll feel bad about the ejaculation during sex, hopefully that won't be the case. I doubt it will but I'll have to wait and see.
     
  12. abiwrites

    abiwrites Fapstronaut

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    Your thread answers a lot of things. You wrote, "You read" in both cases. So, it seems you have been reading all theories and not experimenting yourself. But looking at where you are right now, I can understand. But what you read is NOT TRUE AT ALL... Why I am so sure? Well, because I have a GF and I make her orgasm through penetration, most of the time. In fact, we come together during penetration and we both LOVE it.

    Another Myth: Men endlessly thrusting just makes women sore...

    To satisfy a women sexually, you need to at least thrust 1000 times! Did you know that? I didn't. We like to ejaculate just after 2-7 minutes. That's how we guys with less experience with love-making do by the way. Even I do that because I lack experience. But the masters, Taoists - ancient Chinese people - could thrust a woman 1000 times (which could last 15 to 30 minutes) during their love-making session and make a woman orgasm and they could still retain the semen, not ejaculate it. I have also tried it, but not saying a master. I am a student, still learning, and I realize that I tend to ejaculate soon after 300 thrusts. But with practice, you could thrust a woman up to 1000 times and still not ejaculate while making her come and sexually satisfied too! :)
     
  13. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    @abiwrites
    I wouldn't blatantly attack IGY like that. There is merit to what he said, it's just not true for 100% of women.There is merit to the fact that most women don't orgasm from penetration alone and there is merit endless thrusting causing soreness for women. This is not true for everyone. But IGY was merely pointing out that lasting longer does not always guarantee more pleasure for the woman. Lasting longer - more thrusting is only good if the woman enjoys penetration and if there is enough lubrication.
     
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  14. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    @JCMD_hi I'm going a similar route as you. For a year or two I didn't agree that abstaining from masturbating would be helpful for this reboot, but I'm finally fully on board about completely quitting P and M for at least 90 days, likely the whole year. However, I'm not sure whether I want to introduce MO back into my life since I think I can do it in moderation. But then again, I'm not sure if I will feel the benefits from cutting MO altogether
     
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  15. JCMD_hi

    JCMD_hi Fapstronaut

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    I'll wait and see what happens but I think staying with nofap for support with no porn while M'ing once or twice a week would be relatively healthy and take away the guilt while allowing room for intimacy.
     
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  16. abiwrites

    abiwrites Fapstronaut

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    @seth

    I was not attacking IGY. I was pointing out that what he reads could be misleading unless he tries himself and see how his partner responds. Of course, you need to add some variety - different positions, different frequency of thrusts, etc - to make it more interesting and unpredictable, but most women prefer men who last longer and having orgasm during penetration. If a man frequently changes his positions and experiments, that will also excite the woman and make her lubricate throughout those 1000 thrusts until she is fully sexually satisfied.
     
  17. Come on, dude. You really think that was an attack? The guy was merely adding to the discussion, actually quite kindly, just making a point... He's probably been one of the most calm ones in this discussion yet.
     
  18. PMOlessOhio

    PMOlessOhio Fapstronaut

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    Hey fellas, newbie here. As for me, I really hope that ultimately not only can I give up porn, but I can also give up masterbation as well. I never want that feeling again of having the life sucked out of me, just to get a cheap O. Plus I feel like if I go back to that habit, I'll just get sucked into watching porn all over again.
     
  19. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    Excuse me guys, I chose too strong a word. My apologies!
     
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  20. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I feel similarly to you. Likely I will go 90 days without P or M and then decide whether to cut MO for the rest of the year. Then I might try MO once a week, and see if I start feeling urges for porn or more frequent MO. It depends on how I feel and as long as I'm honest with myself, I feel either scenario is acceptable
     

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