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Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by seth, Jan 4, 2016.
No i wont ofc
I'm still unsure how to proceed in the future, but I won't right now.
So, I've recently altered my plan slightly to include masturbation again under a controlled and monitored basis. @seth suggested in my thread that I make my way over here and read and contribute and I'm glad I did. I originally wrote a small novel, but moved it over to my own thread to not hijack his (the whole thing is here).
I believe very strongly that masturbation and sexual behavior are tools that we have as humans to help us deal with the struggles of life. If the only tool I ever use to build a house is a hammer, it's gonna be a funny looking house. If the only tool I ever use to deal with my issues is my right hand, i'm gonna have a shitty life and an amazing right arm. I have lots of tools at my disposal, my problem in life previously is that I've been neglecting most of them.
I'm new to this whole no-porn experience and I may have to adjust my course again, but life as intelligent beings capable of logic and reasoning is about seeing problems and finding solutions to address those problems so that we can move forward.
Not for me.
And this is my issue with the word 'reboot'
I've done a 3 month streak in the past and going back to MO just revived the addiction. I don't think the brain ever forgets addiction and if it is fed it will return as strong as ever. I can only stay sober today but I have no particular finish line on this where I can go back to M.
Seeing that each time during my reboot, when I get back to manually stimulating my penis, one thing leads to another and eventually I relapse, I view masturbating as a damaging activity... when I finally have a normal sex life with my girlfriend I don't see a reason to going back to masturbation.
So I included masturbation for a short time in my life again and it completely backfired. My urges to watch porn got stronger and it was harder and harder to resist because my body got used to ejaculating more often. The problem with M is that as long as there are porn and porn subs available M is not a good idea because it reactivates the part of your brain that is so used to porn.
Cant see myself doing it ever. After all the progress ive made, for what? Maybe the only time i would is before a sexual experience to try to last longer but other than that fapping just makes me sick.
It;s like asking after staying sober for months from alcohol, will you occasionally drink? If you do, chances are, you will end up again in the addicting cycle.
Ye I can understand that
Very important experience brother!
it is a tip for us don't fall again in addiction!
I've been debating this question with myself since I started this 4 days ago.
Currently I'm without porn and masturbation. And from day 3 I've been feeling the urge creep up and day 4 it was a little stronger.
I know that I'll masturbate again at some point. I have nothing against masturbation but I'll admit that porn is the problem. Instant gratification from non-realistic scenes that force you to move on to more intense forms of it as you get desensitized from what you've already been exposed to.
To answer your question, Yes. I'll masturbate after I finish my challenge. And for right now, I think that staying away from P and M will do me good.
Yes, I will.
I'll do it moderately.
I disagree with this analogy because there isn't really an analogy for the relationship between porn and masturbation. For some, masturbation leads right to porn use and for some, they can successfully separate the two. I strongly believe everyone should abstain from masturbation for a prolonged period of time no matter what, but I'm still struggling with whether I should try masturbating with moderate frequency afterwards. It's a tricky question
No PMO or Nofap for life for me
Wow, how this thread has grown! Before commenting, I went back and read my previous post on January 9th (post #82). Everything in it still applies. The only difference is that I'm now five months in hard mode. I still plan to go a whole year before anything else. Porn is out of the question, and I no longer seriously consider fapping; but I do still crave orgasms (of which I've had only three since a year ago). I'm able to live without them, though, because it's so rewarding to be among the elite percentile of non-masturbating males.
Was searching for a specific term but glad to find a poll that is still open! I like how the right choice is reflected by over 60 votes.
I began nofap in order to cure my ED.
After a nofap streak, during sex i ejaculate immediately.
And after i ejaculate, for the next days i can't have sex for ED.
Is there any kind of solution?
Maybe for this reason i will masturbate...to increase sex durate
Very interesting discussion in this thread. English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
This is already my long lasting streak and it has been 10 days so far. I found a lot of good insights in this forum and would like to thank everybody for contributing and standing for each other. My hardest days are Fridays, my wife goes out for a course early in the afternoon and comes back late at night. Yesterday it was very hard to control myself and I ended up eating a lot of junk food and sweets to satisfy my dopamine urge, at the same time I probably spent more than an hour reading the forum and it really made me feel good and calm. I decided to cut sugar as of today since one of my triggers is getting depressed or frustrated with weight gain so I know that I can't continue using junk food and sweets as an alternative to PMO. I'm also putting exercises back into my routine.
I will definitely cut M and P for life and I'm not afraid of ejaculating fast as for my whole sex life (I'm 35, my first time was with 14) I just wouldn't reach O with a partner. I feel that I could cry right now just thinking about reaching O in 10 min. I had sex sessions of 2 hours with past girlfriends without being able to O and for me that was devastating. Some women liked some don't so I can't really argue that lasting longer is good or bad. I believe being in control is good since I never had it. The same way it's different for women is also different for men so if you feel like M every now and then works for you then just go for it, I feel that it could take me to a dark path quite easily. I also saw someone talking about having fear to ejaculate fast when with a new partner. Look I believe by being upfront about it is the best way. Putting yourself in the position that you don't say anything the pressure will build up and what usually happens is what you are afraid of. One of the best things that I did was opening up to my wife about this. And you will also see that the relief is not only on your shoulders because the other person has also their thoughts to deal with, and usually, they are extremely negative like they are not worth it or they are not desired enough and so on. By being open and vulnerable you also will gain a lot more intimacy and trust in the relationship which will have many positive effects in different ways.
Another thing I want to share is in regards to thoughts. When I go to sleep is when my mind jumps into overdrive and P thoughts comes like a flooding. I was resisting them with everything I could, would open my eyes everytime it happened and it was very hard to fall asleep. I read an article yesterday about a study regarding resisting thoughts and it actually makes the urge stronger. The study showed that the stress level of the subjects that were resisting the thoughts was incredibly higher than the other group that would use an acceptance stance that they are just thoughts and they will go away. To make this happen you don't feed the thoughts, instead, you take deep breaths and focus on them saying to yourself that you know they are just thoughts and like clouds, they will go away. It's a sort of meditation and I found very helpful.