Aggression/Jealousy from other guys?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BranVan3000, Jul 11, 2019.

  1. BranVan3000

    BranVan3000 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,

    I hope that if you're reading this you're doing well and living your best possible life.
    So, I am on around day 28 of hard-mode and I think this has been my longest streak since early teenage years. Very happy to experience some of the famous benefits which I would ultimately describe as having a better grip on one's overall life and energy.

    I'm gay and people are usually able to pick up on that fact fairly easily.
    That being said I have definitely started to appreciate females more for their beauty and energy and I have definitely noticed a more appreciative response from them as well.

    I have also noticed a more inclusive and respectful vibe from most straight guys, it's kind of hard to put into words but in any case the interpersonal dynamic with people has changed for the better.

    That being said I occasionally have been met with a certain kind of douchey-ness from guys. I would describe it as a kind of unstable, semi-put on alpha male act.
    I get the vibe that they either want to consciously or unconsciously be the assertive alpha in the room and so they try to test their level of power/influence on me and it just comes across in a very douchey and annoying way.

    I intuitively feel that it's coming from a place of their own insecurity and lack of challenging themselves...
    I'm able to brush off this type of behavior most times but sometimes I am just left speechless, blinking my eyes in an effort to comprehend...

    I guess the purpose of this text is out of curiosity more than anything...
    Has anyone else noticed a change in people's vibes towards you and what are your thoughts on that?

    Thank you for reading! Keep up the great work! Make it an amazing day! =)
     
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  2. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Insecurity sounds like a motive for that type of behavior. Macho toughguy bs to make me seem more like a man than i know i am. I felt i had to prove myself.

    Its stupid, really. Looking back i've noticed that i've fallen into this mode of behavior in these 2 examples:

    1. When girls were around and i wanted attention (even though i was too shy to approach them)

    2. When i wanted others to 'know' i was straight.

    My own personality led to me being labeled so i felt i had to act out.
    Otherwise the group of guys i was with would rag on me and put me down, so for me it was more of a defense mechanism.
    So sad.

    Today i could care less what others think and what they label me as. I really don't fit into any type of box.
    Definitely not alpha that's for sure.

    More like a dark, quietly reserved 007 mysterious type. No one can figure it out.
    Not even me. Lolz
     
  3. I've noticed a change in Vibe from others but I none of it has really been negative. Sometimes I abstain for a few days and I'm 100 times bolder and friendlier and people are always receptive. I look pretty imposing so I rarely get tested by other guys. I wasn't always confident and I dealt with bullying as a kid because I was shy and socially akward but doing martial arts for 15 years and improving my social skills changed the way I carry myself.

    That behavior you experienced is typical pack behavior in all social animals and is pretty common. Guys who know they are tough and capable are usually laid back because it's pretty clear to everyone so they don't need to put on a show. The guys who know they're weak have everything to prove to others and themselves so they target someone who they preceive as weak just like lower status social animals. A gay looking guy would be the perfect target because he's probably soft or less likely to challenge him. ( I did see this guy take a serious beating after trying to pick on this weak looking gay guy)

    I study combat martial arts but I also researched body language because If you carry yourself a certain way, you can discourage some idoit from escalating a situation or prevent them from bothering you in the first place. After that I never really had any guys try to give me trouble. Little changes in body language and posture can discourage people from harrasing you even if you arent that big or muscular. This will def help a little as well as help your social interactions so check out some sites on body language.
     
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  4. Is it possible that these guys may be secretly gay and they're projecting their own hatred/fears of their own sexuality onto you? If that was the case, then it's not really you they have an issue with, it's themselves. I mean, I'm purely speculating here, but maybe they have some kind of fear/confusing feelings/thoughts regarding attraction towards you? NoFap does make people more attractive...
     
    BranVan3000 likes this.
  5. BranVan3000

    BranVan3000 New Fapstronaut

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    Reply to Unfadeable,
    Thanks for your insight and thoughts! I definitely agree with you. People are operating on animal instinct. It's been very interesting at times because often the guy trying to put me down below him is often met with a very astute observation/remark from me which he did not expect, often times it has lead to embarrassment and or a kind of scolding from people especially women in his entourage. And I agree those moments where these aggro guys have gone for me have been days where I wasn't feeling as energized or confident so I will definitely work on the posture and body language etc!
    And to The Super Man,
    Thank you for your reply as well. And I would say that has definitely also been possible in some cases. Guys! it's so appreciated that I could share with you and hear your thoughts! Thank you very much guys! =)
     
  6. On nofap I noticed at work the owner and his son in-law treat me with agrestion curtness they dont like that all the women in the office give me allot of attention . This is a shift from be submissive and passive to being asurtive and charismatic now I am a threat .
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2019

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