Aggression

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Max666, Mar 4, 2020.

  1. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    Scumbags are scumbags, however you butter them up. No ones needs to call anyone an asshole, they do it because they're angry at the world. No one needs to eyeball anyone, they do it cause they despise humanity. As I said, I know more about people than even they know about themselves. I know why they say things and why they behave certain ways, I'm two steps ahead of them.
     
  2. same here bro, every day is just another hellfire in my mind that happens whenever I see someone trying to demonstrate his balls. I am studying mba, my whole class hate me since I started NoFap, but I don't give a shit. I'm not gonna give up on my journey. If we get angry, there is a reason for that and that reason is them, who think they can pour you with shit and get away with nothing.
    You said you have a girl, sorry it's non of my business, but who thinks of fapping when they a have a girl lol. Or are you on hard mode?
     
  3. Can I just feed back to you that you sound angry with the world? :)
    If you get angry, the reason is you. You're the one choosing to get angry.

    After all, one person will get angry at something, and another person won't get angry at the same thing. If it were the thing making you angry, everyone would be angry with it.

    Anger is an emotion, and all emotions are inside you. You are the one going through the process required to make you feel angry. You might not consciously choose to feel angry, but the decision is inside you, whether consciously or subconsciously.

    Part of the healing process in NoFap (or, indeed, quitting any addiction) is feeling those feelings that you have previously been numbing. In your case, this anger that you are feeling is a wonderful opportunity to examine yourself and figure out where the anger is coming from. It's not coming from that guy at the service station. It's coming because his actions triggered a response in you. Or, more accurately, your perception of his actions (regardless of whether your perception is "right" or "wrong") caused your brain to trigger something, which in turn triggered the feeling of anger. Anger was your response to your perception of what was going on.

    Exploring this trigger and your response to your trigger will open up some interesting things, and will help to speed your healing.
     
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  4. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    The latest book by Jordan Peterson covers the area you bring up, he used the reference of lobsters, how when male lobsters feel assured and powerful they walk with straighter posture, when other male lobsters see this they become insecure about themselves and they respond by either cowering away or standing up to them which often results in them losing limbs. They do this because they're intimidated by them, particularly in the presence of females who are most likely to mate with the confident lobster.

    And I practice sperm retention, not just nofap, have been for about 4 months so I dont ejaculate during sex.
     
  5. AtomicTango

    AtomicTango Fapstronaut

    I think to some extent aggressive thoughts like this are normal, when on long streaks at least. Maybe the result of sexual frustration or from the loss of the thing that you used to self-medicate? Its worth taking some time to introspect and figure out why you get this angry, anger used properly can be useful but not if its just violent fantasising.
     
  6. Recalling the incident will reinvoke the feelings. What's most important is not recalling an incident (unless it helps), but to be mindful of the feelings.

    I should have said that if you can't just go sit — in the example given, it might not have been possible — you can stand, walk or even run with the feelings. The important thing is to allow your feelings to be felt, so that you can listen to the message that your body is trying to give you.

    In our modern world, we are taught to divorce our body, our brain, and our mind. But they are tightly interconnected, and we divorce them at our, and society's, peril. Emotions are a message. It's important to relearn how to listen to the message, and that relearning takes time.
     
  7. You shouldn't be PMO-ing anyway, because it's bad for your brain.

    What I suggested is standard mindfulness therapy, which is good for you regardless of whether you're doing NoFap or not. If you're not on a streak, you can apply this mindfulness to your urges; if done well, it can take you away from being compelled to being in control.

    I hope that helps.
     
  8. Controlled aggression can be a source of power. Channel the anger towards strengthening your body and your resolve. Fitness and sports is one way; taking on challenging tasks is another. Anger dissipates quickly, so it's not a reliable source of energy.
     
  9. That's a good sign that there's likely more going on than just someone being annoying. The annoyance is just triggering what is already there. You probably need to see a therapist to figure out what's going on.

    For me, if someone projects his insecurities onto me, I get angry for maybe a couple of minutes as long as I choose not to react and it leaves me almost immediately. On the other hand, I have anger buried deep inside from childhood trauma, which I often tap into when I feel like I want to quit, like when doing strength training, or long distance running. The raw emotion energizes me to push through and ignore physical pain, but I pay the price when I finish and recover. If I ever decide to see a therapist to deal with the trauma, that fuel source won't be available anymore.
     
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  10. That's an interesting point of view! Sometimes, I feel that great artists (from music composers to painters to sculptors) tap into their inner trauma. Think of Beethoven, who had the most awful upbringing and life.
     
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  11. the awakening

    the awakening Fapstronaut

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    It has happened to me to bro. Don’t worry too much. But I think it comes from somewhere and you should actively look from where it is rooted. Because it can ruin your life
     
  12. Not everyone feels aggressive just because they've stopped PMOing! I didn't feel any aggression.
     
  13. the awakening

    the awakening Fapstronaut

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    Exacrly but what i mean is that we should still understand where they are coming from but i guess being in a ruth can make you more agressif
     
  14. buffness

    buffness Fapstronaut

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    You seem to be a very insecure person. I know this because any secure person would've easily shrugged off someone who did something as little as eyeballed them. You on the other hand get greatly offended by harmless shit like this. I know that you truly don't like yourself. As an attempt to make yourself feel better, you try to blind this fact by telling yourself that you are better than everyone; that "everyone is beneath you" which you know isn't true, thus when somebody does a tiny act of rudeness it offends you greatly as it attacks your false belief that you are better than everyone and makes you remember that deep inside, you hate yourself. You need to picture the best version of yourself and become that person. I'm sure as hell the best version of yourself isn't some arrogant jackass who wants to beat up strangers for stupid reasons. How can you love others if you can't love yourself? Get yourself together man.
     
  15. A range of emotions, mostly pride in getting clean; empathy for others going through the same experience; and some of the other symptoms often quoted, such as flatline or boosts of energy. Aggression, definitely not! Unless caused by drugs or a brain fault, aggression comes from some type of inner turmoil, which in turn usually comes from some type of problems in upbringing.
    No, stress doesn't make you aggressive or annoyed. If it did, everyone who has stress (most of the modern world's population) would be aggressive or annoyed. It's something inside of you that makes you aggressive or annoyed, and you're right that such people often use PMO as a coping mechanism. Removing that mechanism doesn't make you aggressive or annoyed; it instead reveals the internal aggression or annoyance.

    Thus, discovering that you become aggressive without PMO (as the OP has done) is a fantastic signal to point you towards where your healing can be directed — to whatever it is that causes the aggression that you now realise is there. Blaming other people for your aggression is just another coping mechanism to avoid facing the healing that you need.
     
  16. the awakening

    the awakening Fapstronaut

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    81 days and it is true that I felt more aggressive around m other brothers
     
  17. Max666

    Max666 Fapstronaut

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    For the record, I dont think I'm better than everyone, just people like you. That's no being blind, that's just observation. You see the difference is, I can tell a lot about who you are by your words but you have no clue who I am by mine. Hope your life gets better mate. I mean that.
     
  18. buffness

    buffness Fapstronaut

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    And who are people like me? My point was that the way you view other people is disgusting and has to change. My little observation about you was probably wrong, maybe you're just very arrogant which is still a problem.
    "For the record, I don't think I'm better than everyone,"
    "but when I step outside I tend to think everyone is beneath me."
    aight
     

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