Airing things out.

[ForeverAndADay21]

I'm not going to go into my full journey and backstory, that'll be for another day. I have the same general backstory that most have here. Here's where I'm at right now: 23 years old, longest streak was 180 days and I just recently slipped up after a 56-day streak.

As I told someone in a recent post who also recently slipped up, a proven key is to isolate it to one time when you screw up. I know it is a very difficult thing to do, but I thought I would be able to do that since I have before. I couldn't this time and slipped up for the 2nd time since my 56-day streak ended on 12/18/21.

I'm so frustrated because I just want to be done, want to be free, especially given my age and knowing it is imperative to defeat this as young as you can. I know I'm close to winning this war though, so I have to remain patient. Something so deeply rooted takes time to uproot and I have to keep that in mind.

I have a really solid formula that works well...when I stick to it, so I'm frustrated that I didn't. I'm finishing up college and am on break right now, which I knew would be tough because I am most vulnerable when I am not busy. I am disappointed further because I am religious and obviously there is a big day coming up, one which I wanted to be in a better state for.

I also have an upcoming trip with some friends and am worried I will be anxious, quiet, and not myself because of this recent slipup. When I slip up, shame hits me like a fucking truck. The reason is another story for another day. If any of you all have tips for how to handle the shame and not being yourself for a while until a long streak gets going again, I would love to hear them.

I'm sorry I bounced around in this, just wanted to air our what I am currently feeling after a fall.

 

[DeeJ4y]

Shame is not good. Ask for forgiveness and move on. Find a balance between shame and pride since both are bad but they are the same emotion except the extremes of it.

 

[MeEqualsNF]

Agreed. Get rid of the shame. Our brains were made to fall victim to the PMO trap, as well as other traps, such as drugs, gambling addiction, alcohol addiction, etc. Understand that it's okay to become enslaved to these addictions, but what's important is that you make a serious effort to quit. It seems that you are already doing that. You hit 180 days and 56 days, which is really impressive. It also shows that you care about quitting and are making progress. Continue going for streaks for as long as possible. Continue learning and adjusting techniques based on previous relapses, and you'll be fine man. Keep going!

 

[MeEqualsNF]

Also you mentioned that you are religious, so just something you should think about:

Situation 1: You realized you are addicted to PMO, are trying to quit, making progress to quit, and trying to help others through this forum.
Situation 2: You continue to ignore your usage of PMO, escalated to more serious genres, and never cared to think if what you are doing is wrong/self damaging.

Which situation do you think will make God upset? Probably situation 2 right? It seems you fall into situation 1, so cheer up and feel proud that you are on the right path.