Probably my level of alcohol consumption should be worrying enough for me to think right I am going to need to get help for my drinking. On Wednesday night I drank a 70cl of Jack Daniels and almost a 35cl of vodka. So as you can imagine I was quite drunk. I do have quite a high tolerance though. But I stayed at a friends house that night and was up the entire night drinking. I didn't have one bit of sleep and was still half cut went I went home the following day. So the following day when I got in still half cut I was straight on to the porn, wank lines and these other stupid sites. Because when I am badly hungover from alcohol I seem to go completely haywire wanking my brains in to porn. But this day was even worse as I ended up phoning stupid wank lines and also subscribing to these models on this site where they were sending me custom clips and all in all I ran up a bill of up to 300 pounds. As far as I am concerned this simply can not happen. My rational decision making seemed like it was completely out the window, and I was getting an extreme rush and sexual buzz from paying money on all this crap. I was even tipping these models when they were sending me custom clips. It was as if I was enjoying spending the money on it and getting an extreme sexual rush out of it. I certainly wasn't enjoying it when I came to my senses later on let me tell you. The mind frame I was in when I was still half cut from the alcohol and when I ended up badly hungover seriously concerns me. It makes me somewhat think I don't have 100% control of my self to make rational decisions. I can't be spending that kind of money on all that crap, and as quickly as that either. It's dangerous to be honest. Because if I can spend about 300 pounds as quickly on that when I am half cut or hungover, then to me that literally means the potential is definitely there that I could do it again, or even worse do it again and spend even more. Like I said my rational decision making wasn't there, it's as if that part of the brain that makes rational decisions was completely disconnected. This is very dangerous in my opinion. It's sort of like oh I am loving this the now spending all my money on this, then a few hours later I am devastated and I think what have I done? The most devastating part to me though is not being able to control my self, and the worry is it could happen again, or even the worry it could happen again except even worse. So like I mentioned earlier on in this post, my drinking should concern me as it is anyway. I probably drink two or three times a week, but it is usually always binge drinking, and sometimes it can be really heavy. I don't have much sense of when to stop drinking when I start. So all this should be reason enough to want me to get help for my drinking. But the main things that are concerning me at the moment are being half cut from the alcohol from the night before or extremely hungover and then I am stupid enough to waste money like that again, and I just don't want to relapse on any porn or artificial sexual stimulation in general. I am seriously wanting to try get put on some type of medication that stops me from being able to drink alcohol, or a medication that makes the pleasurable effects from alcohol not as enjoyable.