Alcohol, depression, girlfriend issues

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by silverlukas, Jul 14, 2016.

  1. silverlukas

    silverlukas Fapstronaut

    i just need to vent a little.

    My girlfriend of 5 months, who I thought was the sweetest person in the world until now, is an even bigger drinker than I am. This surprised me because I always drank very heavily. I've been told by my doctor and others I trust I am more likely a problem drinker than an alcoholic, because I can seem to abstain any time I want, limit what I drink and so on. But I have drank more or less daily for about 25 years now so I decided to put it to the test and stop for 30 days starting last Monday morning. I'm on day 4 now and something strange happened. I am not craving alcohol but I am feeling tired and depressed. Girlfriend problems and a porn relapse today are surely aggravating these feelings, but I don't know which is cause and effect.

    My friend was in from out of town and met us at our favourite bar both Friday and Sunday. My girlfriend, who was drunk, was really heavily coming on to him. Really hurt me. We've talked it out and I realize I will sometimes make remarks about other women when we are out together, so I have to take responsibility for this situation. All of a sudden though she is cold and distant and I feel very lonely and depressed. This is not like me, I am usually outgoing and active in my sales job. I can barely move today and the only thing that got me excited was PMO, which I indulged in 3 times today. Help!
  2. Bartimaeus

    Bartimaeus Fapstronaut

    Hang in there, man. I was a problem drinker too. Family history of alcoholism. Lucked out and now have incapacitating migraines with even trace amounts. So, I stopped drinking. Definitely taking a toll on some social relationships, but the gains in energy and life enjoyment (which took months to kick in) are well worth it.

    Your GF may feel threatened by your quitting, especially if she suspects herself of an alcohol addiction. Your quitting will seem to her a constant judgment coming from you. That will breed resentment and she'll vent it in the form of being dissatisfied with you. You'll have to confront her about that, which will cause both of you to seriously evaluate the comparative worth of your relationship versus her social expectations.

    These, by the way, are all good things. If there's going to be a problem about this stuff, better to deal with it now than later when resentments run deeper and when addictions have even stronger foothold.

    So, stay strong and keep making good decisions.
    MsPants and silverlukas like this.
  3. TheDancingPotato

    TheDancingPotato Fapstronaut

    I don't want to bring bad news or something but think of it this way, if you stop drinking and get back on track you will dump her very fast ( because you understand that she is holding you down, something you may not realize now).
    It's very important to surround yourself with amazing and successful people because that in end dictates how you behave and that also dictates who you are.
    Deleted Account and MsPants like this.
  4. Gelandewagen

    Gelandewagen Fapstronaut

    One of the common symptoms of withdrawal from any addiction is that you feel like shit for some time after your last hit (the infamous flatline), which is one of the major reasons why addicts relapse, they feel awful, unmotivated, depressed and therefore crave the addiction even more because paradoxically by doing it again it will ease the shitty feeling by going back to the artificial balance the addiction provides, so back to being a slave..

    The key to overcome the addiction is to embrace the down shitty period after quitting. The theory behind it is that your brain is actually healing during this period, rewiring and finding ways to fill the void left by the addiction. So let those 90 days pass and you'll have enough strength to start your life fighting the shit that was sucking your vital energy.

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