Alcohol reboot and it's relationship to PMO

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Chakra_Serpent, Nov 7, 2020.

  1. Before I started my NoFap journey a few months ago I gave up drinking because I was going through some tough times related to my marriage and I was drinking beer everyday. Whenever I drank I would fap for usually 2 hours. This was happening daily. I didn't really keep a record of it but it was more than a month. I was at my all time low. Depressed and lonely beer was making me feel good (but really the opposite). I knew I had to stop. I saw similarities between my father and I. He drinks daily and I don't want to end up like that.

    My last drink was because I was upset that my wife talked for over an hour with her male colleague while all I wanted to do was sleep. I drank some of her wine and never drank again. That was 86 days ago. I feel like if I continued to have even just have a few drinks here and there that I'd probably be more likely to PMO. I don't have any goal in sight I just know I don't think drinking is any good for me. It doesn't help me become a better person.

    Before giving up I listened to a podcast about quitting alcohol and the positive effects quitting can have on one's life. How long into my reboot should it be ok to have a drink or is it better to continue down the path of sobriety?
     
  2. magic05

    magic05 Fapstronaut

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    I'm also dealing with PMO addiction and problematic alcohol consumption since a long time (both for ~15 years).

    In the beginning of this year I was still thinking that I'm merely a person with risky alcohol behaviour, but not with a true alcohol addiction. That I could stop anytime if I wanted. The more this year progressed, the more I drank. When the lockdown began in March I began to drink daily. Also only beer. 80-120 in total every month (I carefully document it at every end of the month).

    Before 2020 I got drunk „only“ 2-3 times a week (basically weekends only). I also used it as „self-medication“ against depressive and lonely thoughts.

    Well, alcohol is like a loan shark. It actually does help you for a very short time, but the next day it will relentlessly demand an overpriced toll.

    The more alcohol I drank, the worse my PMO addiction became. It's so closely related. If I'm drunk, the next day a porn relapse will happen. It's basically like a law of nature that alcohol will enable strong PMO relapses. It happens to a lot of porn addicts, if not all.

    In October I thought that I have to take the emergency brake or this shit will kill me sooner or later.

    I quit cold turkey. I kept sobriety for 3 weeks. This is the longest duration of alcohol sobriety I ever experienced. I felt so good and clear and healthy in my mind. My PMO consumption automatically decreased. It was amazing.

    Then yesterday I had this constant thought in my head: „You kept sober for 3 entire weeks. You are no alcohol addict. You are finally rid of it. If you'd be an addict you wouldn't even be capable of staying sober for 3 weeks.“

    Then I made the classic mistake of all alcoholics. I thought that because I kept sober for 3 weeks I am capable of „controlled drinking“, meaning I can just drink 1-2 beers and stop after that, because what the heck, I proved that I can stay sober after all, didn't I?

    Bad mistake. I drank one single, cold beer and just couldn't stop after finishing 9 beers. The day after (today) I had one of the worst porn relapses of this entire year. I was so ashmed of it. Now my goal is to quit until New Year's Eve and then quit until forever. I really hope I can make it.

    What do I want to say with all that?

    I don't know you and I don't know whether you are an alcohol addict or not (and if yes, whether you have a psychological and/or physical dependence). You'd have to provide more information about the amount and history of your alcohol consumption.

    But I learned two elementar things this year:

    1) If you are vulnerable to alcohol addiction, it is impossible to quit PMO if not having resolved the alcohol issue first.

    It is simply impossible. I tried it for years and always failed. Alcohol fucks up and modifies so much inside your brain. It lowers your barriers, it increases your anxiety, your depressive thoughts and your overall craving and desire for super stimuli (= porn).

    2) It is easier to keep full sobriety than controlled drinking. Craving alcohol after 1 drink is much, much more difficult than craving alcohol after 0 drinks.

    The majority of people in society are able to drink moderately, but once you have crossed the line of alcohol dependency you won't be able to return ever again.

    Psychological dependency is enough already. The line is thin and I also thought that I'm able to control it, but I am not. After 13 years of moderate, 1 year of overall high alcohol consumption and 7 months of daily consumption I realized that I am one of those people that have to remove alcohol entirely from their life for good. One drink and I will relapse. Only you can answer whether you are in this risk group or not.

    If you think you are in this risk group you should refrain from alcohol forever. For addicts there exists no inbetween. It's either 0% (sobriety) or 100% (relapse and suffering). It took me 15 years to admit this to myself, but it's the truth.

    But if you can successfully make it to 86 days you can easily continue for the rest of this year and then the entire next year 2021.

    Always ask yourself: „What has alcohol ever done for you? Did it help with girls/sex/relationships? Did it help you with your social life/social interactions? Did it resolve your PMO addiction/anxiety/depressive thoughts?“

    Most likely the answer is no. If you think you are prone to alcohol addiction, get out of it while it's still easy and follow permanent sobriety. It won't be easy anymore to quit once you developed a psychological dependency and especially once you developed a physical dependency.

    Btw: What's the podcast you listened to?
     
    chiyu and Chakra_Serpent like this.
  3. Thank you for your reply.
    Sorry to hear that you relapsed because of drinking.

    My history with drinking has changed a lot throughout the years. I never really thought much of it but now when I look back most of my worst days were because I was either drunk or hungover. I know why I use alcohol because I'm usually very shy or afraid to speak up. I used to drink on the weekends and go clubbing. Then I worked nightshift and the bosses wife would have a beer waiting for each of us in the car everyday. Whenever beer or alcohol was around i could never say no. I've been caught drink driving, lost my license and too ashamed to tell my mom. I broke my neck whilst drunk doing stunts on my bmx.

    Over the recent years though I have reduced my alcohol consumption. I'm living in South Korea which is a very big drinking society. People can lose their jobs if they don't drink with the boss. When I used to teach English I used to get wrecked with the boss and go home to my wife who hated it.
    I've maintained a pretty healthy relationship with alcohol when it's just me drinking at home with the wife there but we separated earlier in the year and I moved out and had a place on my own. I was drinking more and more each day. Up to 6 or 8 500ml cans a night. I hated they way I felt the next day. I had made friends with a girl who liked to drink beer, (my wife rarely drinks at home or with me) we drank a few times a week together but then told me we had to stop. Pretty much all we'd do when she'd come over was drink and neither of us were enjoying it. Maybe a week before I moved out of that place I cut down to just 1 can a day. Then 1 every 2nd day. Eventually I just stopped. Korean beer is cheap but tastes terrible and imported beers are expensive. Oh, also during this time I'm unemployed, my own choosing. So I'm using the money my wife gave to me and it was getting wasted on beer and (girl) friend.

    So looking over your questions nothing positive really ever came about from drinking. For sure there's a link there with drinking and pmo and that's why I gave up drinking first to eliminate the connection.

    I think it will be hard to socialize in Korea without having a drink but I'm sure I can manage it. I don't like the negative side effects it has the day after or how it leads from one drink to another. I will stay sober till 2021 and see how I feel about it then.

    The podcast I listened to was from my favorite Yoga teacher Travis Eliot. Here's the link on stitcher otherwise its titled The power of quitting alcohol.
    https://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=66907681&refid=asa
     

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