All help and advice appreciated

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by T.Griffin1991, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. T.Griffin1991

    T.Griffin1991 Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone, I finally decided to join the nofap forum today after years of hearing about and how it has helped people like me.
    I have suffered from a lot of depression and anxiety for 7/8 years now and have only ever abstained from PMO once for a max of 7 days.
    I start my nofap journey once again today and all help and advice from others who have gone on long streaks abstaining from PMO would be greatly appreciated. I would also like to know about what benefits people who have similar stories to me have gained from nofap and how it has helped them in their lives. Thank you
     
  2. ConsistencyIsKey

    ConsistencyIsKey Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest you find someone on here or at home that you feel comfortable around or trust to be an accountability partner. Set a small goal like 8 days and be present to what’s going on during those 8 days. Maybe you can journal once a day.

    when you are feeling the urge, be with it, notice what emotions come up, the way you feel and breathe. download the calm app and start using their meditation bubble and other meditation programs.

    If you have depression and anxiety, like I have it’s important that you build healthy habits in place of old bad habits. Start reading personal development books, learn to turn your thoughts around and use the bad thoughts as signposts to think differently.

    Abraham Hicks while pretty out there has an incredible method if you practice and stay open that will help you turn your thoughts and feelings around. It saved my life.

    the reason I say all of this is because what you focus on expands and what you don’t focus on atrophies. Focus on building yourself up.
     
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  3. I feel that getting professional help has been the #1 thing for me. Some people don't agree or have had bad experiences with it. Personally, I have found it so very helpful. Hearing your own voice discuss this and other problems is, in my opinion, healthier than just reading about it. Also, try to think about the future. Have plans, even simple ones that can keep you happy and occupied. It is a long road and you definitely have a lot to deal with, but there is no reason why you cannot make progress. I've had a bad month or so, but have managed to stay clean for most of 2019. But it's a daily challenge!
     
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  4. barracuda

    barracuda Fapstronaut

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    Find someone with more experience than you and ask for them to be your AP. ask them for suggestions and tips.

    I actually didn’t really notice any amazing NoFap benefits until I stopped looking lustfully at women. I noticed a decrease in anxiety and shame but nothing huge. I did 90 days but I didn’t notice changes. I think for most people, it’s not like this. I noticed increased confidence, removal of social anxiety, and a really high treshold for discomfort.
     
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  5. DouvlePlus

    DouvlePlus Fapstronaut

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    FOUR main brief suggestions:
    1. Keep a good little habit. For example, I read books for 30 minutes everyday. The best way to abstain a bad habit is to keep a good habit to replace it.
    2. Write something on nofap and help others every day, even though you just relapsed. This can remind you of your responsibility because human beings are social animals, peer pressure makes a huge effect on human beings. That's why people would like to go to school instead of home school because you can't get any peer pressure or impetus to work hard.
    3. Do outdoor sports everyday. It's important to get affiliated with nature, even though you don't play sports, you should just take a walk or jog for a while, you can benefit from it a lot.
    4. Keep in a good mood. Everybody who relapses from long-time abstinence because of bad occasional emotion. If you lose control of your emotions, you will definitely lose the energy of self-control. People drink, smoke, or even commit suicide when they feel bad. So there's no doubt that keeping in good mood can help self-control and even health.
     
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  6. DouvlePlus

    DouvlePlus Fapstronaut

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    Before nofap, I got anxious and sensitive, my friends said they think I look dirty although I wash my face very carefully in every morning.
     
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  7. NicoRobocop

    NicoRobocop Fapstronaut

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    falling it's a part of the process here, but coming back on track it's what makes you stronger
     
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  8. ZORROW

    ZORROW Fapstronaut

    The 10 stages of rebooting.

    Stage 1
    : This is when we realize that masturbation is affecting our healthy negatively and we have a thought about quitting. However, after reading about the harmlessness theories of masturbation we are not so determined anymore, we think that masturbation in moderation should do us no harm. This is the very initial stage of rebooting which is characterized by ignorance and naivety. The result: failure!

    Stage 2: We gain a small understanding of the harmful effects of masturbation, but not a thorough understanding. The result: failure!



    Stage 3: We begin to study other peoples’ experience of rebooting and we try to break our rebooting record. Although we have managed to set a new record on the number of rebooting days we are still unable to break out of the vicious cycle. The result: failure!


    Stage 4: This is the confusion stage, after numerous failures, we start to doubt ourselves. At this stage, we are not putting in enough of a fight, no fight no victory! The result: failure.


    Stage 5: Our body gives out signals once again and it’s clear that our health has deteriorated. Once again we make up our minds to quit and rely helplessly on the brute force method without learning about the correct methods. The result: failure.


    Stage 6: We begin to see the harmlessness theory for what it is, that it only works to trick the “children”. This is when we experience a breakthrough in our way of thinking but we still fail to understand why we are unable to quit masturbation. The result: failure.


    Stage 7: This is the stage of understanding, gained from reading vast amounts of rebooting articles, we begin to acknowledge spiritual teachings (such as Buddhism) which helps to increase our determination tremendously, we break the 100-day streak. The result: still failure.


    Stage 8: The thorough cleansing stage, we are starting to cleanse ourselves both consciously and unconsciously. Once this idea has entered our subconscious we easily break the 200-day barrier. There may come one day when we are browsing the internet and have our guard down or we have been slack in our rebooting studies, we therefore stumble near the finishing line. The result: still failure.


    Stage 9: We are almost there now and have become even more careful, our understanding takes on another level. We are no longer affected by dirty thoughts, what we see do not enter our intentions, what other people sees and like we react with caution. We are steady in our heart even amidst rough winds of thoughts. We have discarded the habit of masturbation altogether.

    Stage 10: “Nothing to begin with, how can nothing stir the dust”. We have come to the highest stage where all things returns to simplicity, just as the “sweeping monk” from Jin Yong’s martial art novels. Great skill is hidden in plain site, this is only achieved by the Master. Tips: Everyone should be able to find their current stage in rebooting, just like in video games we have our levels, once we have reached that level success will come. If our level of understanding is not there we will have a hard time to quit masturbation, for a master there is no difficulty, while mastery is difficult to achieve for a layman. Hopefully, everyone will continue to study rebooting articles, the day when we find our “aha” moment is the day when we can walk away from masturbation for good. For the few bright people with keen minds, they are able to skip over stages just as a bright student is able to skip grades and the poor student will need to remain in the same grade.
     
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  9. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

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    Focus you attention on addressing depression and anxiety. I kept relapsing until I did that. You must understand that depression and anxiety symptoms will get only worse with abstention if you suffer from preexisting depression. You can read what has help me deal with it in my journal, but you might need to take a different path. Still maybe you'll find some useful advice:
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/hopeless-case-searching-for-hope.187822/
     
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