All or nothing?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by RoaryLions, Apr 12, 2016.

  1. RoaryLions

    RoaryLions Fapstronaut

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    I'm struggling with the idea of all or nothing.

    Can reaching a point where we don't binge or use constantly be called a win?

    Can there be a happy medium?
     
  2. Decoder™

    Decoder™ Fapstronaut

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    No, there's not, Our brains did not evolve to behave like that.
     
  3. avatarivn

    avatarivn Fapstronaut

    I almost wish it were so simple as "all or nothing" but it probably is not (at least on my opinion)

    I am able to laugh on my day 0 of any streak and I have felt like shit even without using porn in more than a month so my point is : life is too complex to be all or nothing. Everything and everyone is changing even a little everyday so:

    If you relapse, that doesn't mean you are a failure.
    If you don't relapse, that will not automatically transform you into a happy person.

    Here is a book about this topic that I consider good:
    http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-Dweck/dp/0345472322
     
  4. Decoder™

    Decoder™ Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the wisdom.
     
  5. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    I find I'm struggling with monk mode , but am ok with all my porn blocked, that too is struggle, but achievable. It's ok to be an incrementalist. Remove all Porn first and foremost. Block it , never watch it again. Then move on to eliminating fantasy and masturbation.
     
  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    An interesting topic. My motto is 'everything in moderation'. But when something is inherently vicious such as P, this does not apply. The principle of moderation does apply however to the process of recovery. So we will not be obsessed by the counter, though we will keep it for our goal. On the other hand, we may slip from time to time, yet we will not settle for infrequent use. No, we build up an inner resiliency in ourselves to the point where one day the urge will not bite into us as at all. But this is a process. If one takes an 'all or nothing' approach, it may lead to either capitulation or repression. Equally dismal outcomes. Why be obsessed with a binary opposite.
     
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2016
  7. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    In this case "moderation " destroys . Everything in moderation is the path to destruction.
     
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Well, you need to use words in context. That's the nature of words. One could say puritanism [extreme reaction against sexuality] is destructive/ erosive of human nature... because it simply represses our passions.. the higher as well as lower... in the name of an ideology. No wonder we have such a problem with sexuality today.. given the history of repression.

    All virtues are found in the moderate position between two extremes. Of course we are not talking about pornography [corruption of sexuality] per se here as that is by its very nature vicious. Comprendo?
     
  9. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    moral equivalency no comprendo
     
  10. This is like asking if there is a middle ground for a smack junkie...
     
    Eagle15 likes this.
  11. Eagle15

    Eagle15 Fapstronaut

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    The answer is unequivocally NOTHING
     

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