Allowing myself to relapse once a week?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Player 1, Oct 14, 2018.

  1. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I'm 22, it's been 8 years that I'm an addict, and 5 years I'm aware of that and trying to fight PMO for good without success...

    My longest streak is 37 days, and I have no social life at all. However I do:
    - Workout
    - try to eat healthy
    - take cold showers daily
    - do not drink, smoke, or do drugs

    I have a strong fear(and hate?) for social interactions although I realized I could talk to others without a problem, I have an appointment with a therapist to fix that.

    I've always been into hard mode, always looking forward to reach 90 days but failing everytime and making myself even more addicted with constant destructive days of relapses.

    So here I am deciding to try something else. Why not relapsing only once a week (if I feel like it) ?

    I'm used to edging for hours after weeks of abstinence, but this time I just want a quick release on softer things and less often, then I could try it easy mode. People here told me that it would work and my brain would get used to it and it'd make it easier to reach 90 days in the future.

    Sometimes I can't sleep at night because of it, urges are too strong and all motivation are gone...

    So now, I wanna decrease my addiction. I suffer too much from withdrawals... I even got fever once I reached 30 days.
    Is this new strategy really possible?
    After 5 years of failing at hard mode, I think I have to try something else...

    Thanks for reading and help!
     
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  2. HebHetGehad

    HebHetGehad Fapstronaut

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    It would be awesome but i think it won’t be possible. Compare it to a drug addict. Probably falling back in the usual usage/habits again i think. But ofcourse, you can try it, but personally i think it won’t work.
     
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  3. gunslinger215

    gunslinger215 Fapstronaut

    I used to be a coffee addict, like I used to drink Liters of the stuff..guess what, I was jumpy and twitchy all the time and my eyes were too dry and itchy. I decided to cut back on the stuff and drink only herbal teas. At first I got headaches every day from withdrawals but I pushed through. I’m almost a month clean now and my life has improved significantly. I don’t want to go back to that horrible stuff again.

    Anyway the point I’m trying to make is that you don’t have to fall back on old habits.

    Happy recovery
     
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  4. Arghy

    Arghy Fapstronaut

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    Well ,what 's your goal in life ?
    What you dream to be ?

    You can M all your life if you want to, no one will care about it.There s nothing bad in.

    But perhaps you want to have a gf/wife or delete bad habits what are ruining your life and health.
    Abstinence is a tool , not an end.
     
  5. Player 1

    Player 1 Fapstronaut

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    Sadly, like I said I'm almost allergic to social interactions, I don't even have one real life friend.
    I've tried for many years to interact, get friendly with people and rejection made it worse to the point I hate talking now and I only interact when I have to.

    I barely have hobbies at all and I have no idea what to do for my future. I've had suicidal thoughts because I felt too incapable of getting friendly with people/building relationships nor have love for real life things. When I studied I used to skip classes and go home because I couldn't stand being alone in the middle of crowd, I'm afraid I'd do that at work too.

    I cannot deny my addiction got worse. I used to feel better when I was on 14+ days streak a couple years ago but now a few days or a month clean makes no difference on benefits at all..
    Never had a girlfriend yet, otherwise I wouldn't be here...
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2018
    Arghy likes this.
  6. Arghy

    Arghy Fapstronaut

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    I see a start of answer tough :)

    You should start first to think and write for yourself your goals in life ( job, relationship , etc...), trust me nothing is impossible.
     
    Player 1 likes this.
  7. SandsOfTime

    SandsOfTime Fapstronaut

    I can understand your feelings. Never ever give up. This world is not heaven where we can get easily. We are all struggling for good. We are all with you. So no need to worry. You are strong til the day you are trying. Be happy. I'm sure one day you get success. Each individual has their own strong power so find it.
    Read attached file. I hope it will shed some light on your dark life.
     

    Attached Files:

    Player 1, HebHetGehad and Arghy like this.

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