Almost 1 month of PMO "Hard Mode" abstinence...True or False?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by pacnick11, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. pacnick11

    pacnick11 New Fapstronaut

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    ***Note: I understand that there is a separate thread for "New Fapstronauts", but since I don't care too much for the whole social welcome/introductory phase I decided to dive straight into the deep-end here and spill the beans right off the bat. Actually, it's not that I don't care, I do, it's just that right now time is of the essence and I need specific information quickly so that, if I need to, I can get on the right track and continue the battle. In all honesty, nothing else matters at the moment. I NEED to know.
    As you might have already noticed, this post is quite an elaborative one, however, I believe this is necessary in order to explain thoroughly so that you may provide me, in turn, with a proper, knowledgable answer. Keep in mind that I'm not trying to digress or "beat around the bush" per-say, I just really think certain details should be mentioned before any conclusion is to be made in terms of my current reboot attempt. You may not agree, so please thouroughly consider this before deciding to read on. Thank you.***


    Hello there, stranger. Thank you for clicking on my very first post. With much hope, whatever words that are exchanged from here on out will not only benefit myself, but you as well. Here is my reboot story thus far...

    I began my Porn/Masturbation/Orgasm abstinence on January 1st, 2018 - for "obvious reasons" (referring to both the date and the decision to abstain) - with the intention to abstain for as long as I am able to. I became a so-called "Fapstronaut" nine day later, on the tenth of January.

    To explain myself, I would like to specify that at the time that I am writing this, it has been a full 28 days since I have last consciously and/or willfully done the following:

    #1. Accessed pornography
    #2. Masturbated or sexually-stimulated myself
    #3. Induced an orgasm


    If I may, please reconsider the significance of the conditional statement:
    "...since I have last consciously and/or willfully done the following..."

    Do you see what I mean, that is, in relation to the title of this post? (If you don't, go back and re-read the title of this post and then read the conditional statement - multiple times, if need be - within the surrounding textual contents.)

    To explain myself even further...
    Yes, there have been times in the last couple of weeks that I have caught myself googling various "modeling photos" of good-looking girls/women (the type you would commonly see at the gym or the beach, ex. 1980's California high-cut bikini surfing girls, Yes, there have been instances that, after coming to full-consciousness, I found myself thrusting my body against my bed and enacting the "missionary" sex position, and lastly Yes, indeed, there have also been occasions that I have awakened in the early morning hours to discover my PJ bottoms soaked in wet cum due to a nightly ejaculation + orgasm, a.k.a. a "wet dream".

    So yes, it is defiantly, 100% true. I have experienced all three of those rather "dirty acts" during the past month of January and I cannot deny them. The deeds have been done and cannot be reversed. Therefore, without further adieu, the million-dollar question remains:

    "Have my experiences (either conscious, unconscious, or both) entailed a relapse in my ongoing Porn/Masturbation/Orgasm Reboot?"

    Once you have your answer, please explain your reasoning.

    However, before you write me your opinion, consider this: What if I told you that, within no more than a minute or two (usually just a matter of seconds) of becoming aware of my surroundings, I was able to resist the colossal temptation and discontinue whatever filthy activity I was engaged in at the time? Would that change your mind? Anyway, what I am trying to ultimately convey here is that although I haven't been able to completely avoid the temptations, I've been successful in rapidly terminating them during their initial stages.

    In conclusion, regardless if you've made up your mind that I need to reset my day counter immediately and continue to do so whenever I spontaneously catch myself in the "dirty acts" or if you tell me that I should be proud of my strong-will to become successful with my PMO abstinence and the courage to push onward with my reboot, can't we all agree that there's something to be said for an individual who, while committing and enjoying a sexual-related act, is able to overrule their erotic/lustful thoughts, and just cancels that shit right then and there?

    That is all. Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means quite a bit to me...and my future depends on it. Good luck to you, stranger.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    P.S. Due to the fact that I have only been a member of NoFap for less than 3 weeks, I still have a very basic knowledge of the site and its various "nooks and crannies" of information. That being said, there's quite a decent chance that, perhaps, these rules or guidelines of rebooting have been overlooked by yours truly and were there all along. If that is the case, then please let me know and link them to me down bellow.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2018
    Tony Greenshrine and u376 like this.
  2. Hey man,

    I think you're overthinking it.

    Concerning the first instance where you found yourself browsing gym girls pictures I can't say it's great but I wouldn't consider it a relapse given the fact that you didn't P, M or O from it and you stopped looking at those pics when you made the connection between those pictures and PMO.

    Concerning the second instance, I understand you woke up in the middle of the night and found yourself in prone with a hard on. Nothing you can do about that since it happened during your sleep. Not a relapse.

    Concerning the third incident: during your sleep = unconscious = out of your control = not a relapse.

    The rules aren't black and white. You set your own parameters. You know what is best for you. Deep down, you know what is right and what is wrong.

    Again, don't overthink it. I don't think anybody here is going to tell you that you relapsed.

    Don't be too hard with yourself.

    Edit: I encourage you to read the NoFap Starter Guide and the pinned threads on this forum that contain a good amount of explanations about NoFap and how to plan your own reboot and set the parameters of YOUR reboot. I also encourage you to visit www.yourbrainonporn.com for more information about PMO addiction and read Gary Wilson's book "Your Brain on Porn". Available for $4 on Amazon.
     
  3. diogo431509

    diogo431509 Fapstronaut

    I respect @Optimum Fortitude a lot, he is right when he says each one defines his own rules, but we are allowed to decided the details. The basics are the same for everyone. And my reasoning starts from what's have been said.

    This bloke is new to the site, used P-subs to his heart's content, asks us if he is to be proud of his will power, to this my response is a firm "no". I said this in third person because the questioner claims not knowing our basic glossary, to which I will amend in simpler terms:

    You meant "before" or as you said, "after"? You fapped in bed prone position congratz for your relapse. And you said you were conscious? Then no excuse for you, man.

    We call it porn substitution. It's not porn. We all know it's not porn. But you use it as you would use porn. It's not hard to understand. One could say you relapsed twice. So I guess my answer to your one million dollar question can be already seen in the short distance. Let's have a look at it.

    Yes. You know it. You suspected you did something wrong, and I am here to reassure your suspicion was accurate.

    I would congratulate you for your rhetoric which is commendable. You made quite a fuss for a simple question, I hope my answer is intelligible enough. Summarizing, you relapsed at least twice, started wrong, of course you wouldn't control yourself while watching P-subs.

    The number one rule in NoFap (at least for me) is get educated, get smart and get the tools to fight the addiction (the same words on the beginner's guide). Your next step is get educated. And best way to learn is not to ask what's already on the quality material we've prepared for the beginners, but since you seemed in a rush, I took the time to answer your question.

    Have a nice day Sir, welcome to the group.

    PS. A final word I think yes you should reset counter but not look at it like a failure, this was a good start, when you reach 28 days the right way you'll know you did it right because you'll feel different.
     
    Optimum Fortitude likes this.
  4. pacnick11

    pacnick11 New Fapstronaut

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    Well, it seems that so far I've received two completely different responses. Thank you guys. They have been taken into consideration. I'm going to wait and see what others have to say about this before making my final decision.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2018
  5. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    Pacnick11, you relasped, twice. Before i go farther with my comments, pkeae kniw that i am very blunt and too the point. I do not sugar coat or ease into what i think. Not looking to beat you down, nor hurt feeling. That beung said....

    Throughout your post i found a common theme, excuses your feeding yourself. Catching yourself after seconds or starting something while your concsious means you know what yiu were doing o matter how you spin it in your head. Sitting down at your computer or with your phone and searching images of women dressed provocatively is in fact a pron substitute. Doing so is not a subconscious decission. I supose ther is a chance that you have some neurological disorder that causes you to black out multiple times of day causing this "catching yourself" issue.

    An addiction is an addiction. As a recovered alcoholic i have done a lot of reading on the subject. You looking at sort of clothed models is like me drinking a "non-alcoholic" beer. One leads to the other.

    Should you be hard on yourself? Not at all. Relapses happen, f they didnt we wouldnt need that word. Learn from them, learn your triggers, learn methods to avoid them and deal with them.

    This is just my personal observation from the context of yiur post. Only you can decide whats right for you.
     
  6. Tony Greenshrine

    Tony Greenshrine Fapstronaut

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    Nice enthusiasm mister.

    As you said, we set the parameters of our own reboot.

    I have to be tough with myself as my vice is bad. Very, very bad.

    The rules are as black and white as the sunshine is to the moonlight. Day and night tones. No in betweens.
     
    pacnick11 likes this.
  7. 5adn8m8

    5adn8m8 Fapstronaut

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    I believe you're over thinking and over analyzing! I read what you've written and I can say you are a very unique writer! you can analyze a situation from different aspects which is very cool but it feels like you have too much of something good which has turned bad!
    Since I went through something similar I think you can use the information I share here.

    I had the same experience. There was times that I was stimulating myself, looking for hot photos here and there. and after a few seconds I came to my senses and stopped whatever I was doing. 10 days ago I woke up with my cum- soaked under ware. I could remember the wet dream so well. So I decided to reset my counter, because I thought whatever I did in past days have lead me to this. Right after this thought, another thought occurred: Since I'm resetting my counter why not watching some porn? That was when I realized my mind is tricking me! First it makes me to take it too hard on myself and then it encourages me to use porn again because it wants high dopamine levels so bad.
    So I tried to be logical. I told myself: Hey this was just a wet dream, and Nofap says wet dreams are not relapses. Why do you insist that they are? It's all in your head. keep at it, you're doing well. The interesting thing is that ever since that day I've had a lot less urges and I don't try to stimulate myself by any means. So here's your answer loud and clear: You're doing great, keep at it. Don't let your brain trick you! You are the master of your thoughts. They have no control over you and you're already healing! Trust yourself and put aside all doubts! And finally well done on your 30 days streak!
    Good luck mate and Welcome!
     
    pacnick11 and Optimum Fortitude like this.
  8. pacnick11

    pacnick11 New Fapstronaut

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    In following-up my previous message from a few days ago, I would like to reveal my final decision in regards to the continuation or the restart of my current Porn, Masturbation, Orgasm (PMO) reboot. Like I said earlier, I have taken into consideration all five of the responses that I've received in the last few days.

    I will "stay the course" of my reboot and I have decided to "not reset" my PMO day counter.

    To give you some choice here, I went ahead and wrote two different versions of the explanation/reasoning for my decision. Both versions are found within the spoilers bellow. Select whichever you prefer and/or whichever you have time to read.

    In response to all who believe that I have relapsed: Yes, I certainly agree with you now that I have learned a few things about avoiding triggers and know better than to continuously tempt myself with so-called "P-SUBs". You must realize, however, that this was not the case when I kicked-off my abstinence on New Year's Day. At the time, I was recklessly-eager to get going, rather than stepping-back for a moment to look around on NoFap in order to educate myself about the reboot process. The truth is that my initial interpretation of Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm was very much a "black and white" one: These 3 things (PMO) are off-limits, everything else (including P-SUB's) is not. So I just went for it, hoped for the best, expected the worst, and that was that. Therefore, due to the fact that I am still abstaining from PMO on "my own terms", I believe the only action that is necessary is that I make the right adjustment to update/correct my terms and move confidently forward with rebooting. And, ladies and gentlemen, so I have: As of February 1st, No more P-SUBs of any kind, period. Any "intentional" violation of this rule will result in an automatic relapse with absolutely no excuse not to reset my PMO counter. To conclude, my only hope for all of you who are still not convinced is that you respect my decision. Thank you.
    It has been over 1 month since I've decided to abstain from Porn, Masturbation, and Orgasm - starting on 1/1/18. During this time I have NEVER "intentionally" viewed pornography, masturbated/physically stimulated myself in a sexual manner, nor induced an orgasm. Now, I have had many instances (sometimes multiple times per-day) where I was "borderline relapse" so-to-speak, but I can proudly say that this is, indeed, a fact.

    However, while that may be true, I would be lying if I were to say that the rules have not been bended. (If you would like to know exactly what I've done wrong, go back to my main post and click the "spoiler" button) No, I'm no angel - far from it. In fact, a couple people went as far as to say that I have not only bended the rules, but aparently I've snapped them in half and broken them. They disprove of my abstinence and conclude that I've relapsed without a doubt, twice even. I agree. However, there is one thing that saves me here and that is the fact that I began my reboot in a very straightforward manner. My old conditions were plain and simple: No Porn, No Masturbation, and No Orgasms. That's it. Everything else was fair game. If I was able to live without those 3 things then I was a truly successful Fapstronaut. That was then.

    Now as February is upon us, I have realized that what I'm viewing (P-Subs, as opposed to the "real deal") leads nowhere good and does absolutly nothing for me. I'm constantly tempting myself for no reason at all and just wasting my precious time. A good analogy for this situation would be a parent giving a freshly-baked cookie to a little hungry child, but right as the child is about to consume the cookie in its mouth the parent pulls it away, stuffs it in their own mouth, and begins chewing the cookie very slowly with their mouth wide-open. Basically, I let myself see just enough skin to get me excited, but never enough that it crosses the "nudity boundary-line" if you will. Along with my decision to continue my "No PMO Streak", I have also made the decision that there will be absolutally no more of this daily "teasing" going on as I have permanently amended my Reboot guidelines. Doing so will cause an immediate relapse and I will have to reset my day counter to zero. Having said that, February 1st marked the first day that this amendment was put into effect. So far, So good!

    Wish me luck, or should I say...... Wish Me Strength!
     

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