Hey, so my name is Felipe, and It's almost two years since I started NoFap. Not gonna lie; I remember the day it all started. It was amazing, and my life finally contained a purpose to fight myself that I had to accomplish no matters what. I had this fire inside me who wanted to destroy and give my best to everything that puts into my way. I remember walking by in school, feeling so much confident around people; my walking just improved like crazy, the way I talked, how calm I was. Everything flipped out. I FINALLY HAD FELT EMOTIONS. You know, sometimes I wish I go back to those 30-Days when it all started. The amount of motivation I had was something out of this world. Reached 60-Days, amazing, and so on. Until, yeah, there's kind of a sad part of this story that's been kind of killing me inside, which is the reason I'm writing this thread looking for advice. You know, I met so many people, friends, and some girls that I really liked. There's this one girl that I met, it was going incredible at the start, but over time I made many mistakes based on my ego that made her go away. That hurt for some reason a lot. Like, I wasn't talking with my heart. It was just me trying to be some type of fuckboy, which I'm not. And I know deep inside I'm better than that. You know, when I first met her, my NoFap benefits doubled and went through the roof. And right now I feel that even if I have her right now, I'll feel the same. I feel like I'm on an unstoppable flatline. For some reason, I have no emotions and I'm cold as ice. Like a rock. Thinking all the time, I can't even concentrate when I do the sport I enjoy the most. I feel like I think too much about the future, and not take action on the present. Like, I could give the chance to talk to this girl again, send her some picture... I get butterflies, but at the same time, I feel like if I chat her something or tell her something, we're going to be playing games again that make me feel worse. I'll be real here, I just want to go do something with her, facetime her... I don't know where to start. I feel like every action that I'm going to take, I just don't have the balls to do it, because my ego is too high, or I just don't want to get hurt so my instincts don't let me be myself as a self-defense mechanism, and I hate that SO much. I don't care if she's my girlfriend or not. I just want to have a closer relationship with her. Before I met her, my life was amazing with NoFap, and now that I know her more, and it's being hard for me to reach her, life feels so empty. I don't really know where to start or what to do. I just feel that every action I make is going to go wrong. Sometimes I'm just so insecure about my actions I can't even believe it. Like I know I just have to do it, but my insecurity kills me. I REALLY just want to be more secure with my actions and with my own self-being. But it's so hard for me for some reason. Incredible how that only occurs with PEOPLE, because with other things that don't depend on people... things that just depend on myself and the thing that I'm doing, my security is through the roof. (I'm also going to be at a place she's going to be this whole Christmas. A place on the beach. Not in the same house, but close to mine). I'm also insecure about posting this, but fuck it, here you have it.