Almost 3 years of flatline - few thoughts & a message of hope

So here we are guys,
i don't know from where i should start, i wish i was writing a success story instead of this but that's not the reality.
Basically i've been (as the title suggests) into flatline for almost 3 years (31 months actually). I've been suffering with all the symptoms others flatline sufferers reports but mostly with severe anxiety and depression for all this time.
I am 25 and i discovered porn when i was 9 (only 9!!), little did i know about the damage i was doing to myself (it was even something i kinda went proud of) and in the following years i became really, really addicted to it.
Yesterday night i was realizing how much porn took away from my life, basically everything (friendships, enjoying life for what it is and for what i had, etc etc....)but the biggest thing it took away from me it was basically myself, everything about me was distorted by porn and being honest i was basically a shitty person!
And here i am now suffering with all these symptoms for almost 3 years (since i quitted everything), it may sound weird for lots of you thinking"oh it can't be a 3 years flatline you must have other underlying problems" and honestly i wish i had because so i would had already solved them in another way, but unfortunately this is the brain healing from that addiction, i feel it.
These 3 years have been a nightmare (which i won't go through it now) but also full of relapses (mainly without porn). I know i didn't have to relapse and that's not an excuse but guys suffering with all this stuff for 3 years is no joke and many times i gave up, last time was just few minutes ago.
But why am i writing this message?? To talk you about all these negative stuff?
No, it's because even if i am going through all of this, even if i relapsed so many times i am still here after all these years losing a battle after another battle and standing up and retrying again and again and again because i won't give up till i will completely win this war! And so you must!
Once a really good friend of mine said me "If you resist and persist, you will reach and conquist" and that's my message and blessing for me and for everyone of you on this forum, don't give up, enjoy life! Peace
A.

 

yes i know you're right!! But the thing is you know after one year passed streak and still struggling with all these symptoms you start to think this can't be porn withdrawal and so sometimes in the darkest points of my depression i lost all hope i had in the recovery and i relapsed! I tried everything, literally everything, going to a psichologist, cold shower, exercise,meditation, yoga, fasting, going keto and yes some of these things helped a bit and for a while but none of those cured me. These are are porn withdrawal and now i know for sure,on the internet it's plenty of cases like mine of people who recovered after 2 and passed year of flatline. That's the price we gotta pay for being such s***head when we were younger and stupid as hell.

 

for me it's 4, 1st year i discovered it was mainly a try , i would have gone maybe one day than relapsed then 2 etc etc, from the second year i took it more seriusly and there the nightmare began

 

but the worst thing unfortunately it's neather for me nor you but for the future generations unfortunately...they're what scares me the most! i think we'll see even longer and worst flatline as time goes by with newer generations.

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed it so much, i really appreciated your comment! And... i will start doing that exercise starting from tomorrow morning

 

Thank you so much!! really, wish u all the best too!!

 

I will, thank you!!

 

Well my friend it seems like you are going threw a pretty rough part. I honestly didn't have a flat line that elongated for that long. Especially when I quit way back in 201.

You know what I actually do to tackle these flat lines is simple. Work on your chakra's and meditate my friend. Especially your emotional and self esteem areas like your Sacral and Heart Chakra. I remember I did this for about two weeks back in 2017 on my heart and I felt significant changes. I started seeing numbers like 1:11 2:22 constantly in times. I even challenged myself I would get a girlfriend and focusing on this area for a while. I had achieved my last wonderful relationship until today that lasted 2 years.

Definitely work on your Heart my friend and the flat line with subside. My theory is that your stuck in your Sacral and its healing from this period of time of low self esteem and love. Of course your body is in that state because of the withdrawal. Almost like it doesn't know what to do in the "dead zone"and countering it with the flat line. Anyway I hope this helped you some what. Just from my past experience and what has actually helped me.

Good luck.

 

Yeah man that's crazy what you are writing me! Thank you so much, i will put an extra effort in it!! You know one of the things that helps me the most is doing yoga (i don't know how the hell it works, just by stretching your body, i can not understand it...but it works, i feel slightly better when i do it). And you know what, it's been a month or so that every day, every single day when i watch the clock i always see numbers as 20:20, 13:13, 15:15 and this happens 3 5 7 time a day!! In the first days i was thinking "oh wow what a nice coincidence" but then after weeks, every day this happens and i'm like "ok wtf is happening here, this is so strange it never happened me this before". Just yesterday i was googling about what this does mean and now you are speaking about it in a post...that's crazy!!
May i ask you what kind of exercise you did for you heart chakra (and your chakras in general)? My daily routine (i may skip a day or 2 but i try to be consistent) are in order as i do them: 5 minutes of Nadi Shuddhi, 5 minutes of Wim Hof respiration, 40 minutes of Vinyasa yoga and then sometimes in the afternoon i do simple vipassana meditation for 20 minutes.
Thank you so much!!!

 

If I were you I would stop anything that got connection with yoga, meditation, "self help/ self improvement movements". I speak from my own experience, these things will not help you, they even got the chance to make things worse. About Wim Hof respiration, it is bad. What you doing with Wim Hof breathing? You over breathing, then you does not take any breath. It will activate fight / or flight mode in your brain, then your brain go into fainting mode. Just like when an animal being hunted by a preditor, and caught. It even got the possibility to cause nerve damage. Guess why it gives you high feeling, because you trolling with your nervous system.
Cold showers are same, they activate fight/flight more, maybe contrast showers are ok.

If you does not believe me, you may google what kundalini syndrome mean, induced by yoga, meditation. If someone tells you those things will pass, you just need to meditate more, then run! That is a big red flag for bullsh!tism.

If someone tell you meditation is all healthy, ask them about this study:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5443484/

If you looking for something that can really help, in my opinion then I suggest looking into the red light therapy/photobiomodulation topic. I suggest looking up the possible side effects from that too, if you try it.
https://www.theenergyblueprint.com/red-light-therapy-ultimate-guide/
https://www.selftestable.com/red-light

 

Thank you for sharing your opinion man! I absolutely disagree with you for lots of reasons...but thank you anyway for your comment!

 

yw! I can only hope you will not explore the road I did, so you can be saved from a lot of unecessary suffering.

 

Well honestly i've always meditated through my all life and it always helped me a lot under different aspects, recently i started doing yoga and it also has been impactful in a positive way for my life...
i see these things (meditation, yoga etc) as a tool (like a knife) that if u use it correctly you can heal and improve lots of aspects in your life but that also if u use them unproperly you can "cut yourself"...
You know today's medicine is showing us that 80% of ailments come from food but from there to saying that food is dangerous for you there's a lot of distance.
Even fasting is super beneficial...but if u fast for too long you die ahahahah
By the way if u wanna share your experience i will listen to it with an open mind