Almost a setback on day 57

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Adam_714, Jul 20, 2020.

  1. Adam_714

    Adam_714 Fapstronaut

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    I've been quite sleep deprived lately. This was because of a university assignment that I was a bit too lazy to start off with. I was going smooth with NOFAP hard mode until a week ago when in sleep deprivation state I made it to 2 sessions of watching explicit media and rubbing my wood. They weren't that long (20 mins combined) and were limited to images. I went to sleep immediately. I knew I didn't have any urge to watch it and was just watching it coz my energy was severely drained off factory work and university assignments. The disturbed sleep cycle continued to last night when I had a full session of about 45 minutes both watching the filth and rubbing my wood. Thankfully it struck me early that porn is for cucks and I am not gonna be a spectator. I went to sleep after somehow getting rid of my cell phone. I woke up to a wet dream. I felt quite depressed for having disturbed my PMO streak. I usually put a small red mark with a big green mark on a day I watch porn without masturbating. A day without any PMO is a big green cross. June was the month without any red crosses. However, the 2 sessions in this month have already got me 2 small red crosses.

    What got me to this state?
    Although I've had those urges to just search for some explicit content (deja vu), I was always able to avoid'em recalling how most of my streaks ended the same way. My routine was so disturbed since the last 10 days that I was just not feeling any good. Somehow I managed to search for some explicit stuff on Reddit while I was reading something in the NoFap subreddit. It was just recently that I removed Reddit from my BlockSite list as most of the literature from the MDF app is from Reddit. I added it back last night as part of my risk mitigation strategy.

    Today I decided to sacrifice that assignment for the sake of my streak. It was not worth keeping onto it and I know I can do better in terms of planning next time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 21, 2020
  2. I hate to say it but you've lapsed here, you didn't finish but your nofap goal clearly states no porn masturbation, and whether the masturbation ends or not doesn't matter, you still masturbated. You need to be tough on yourself in this fight, there are no half measures, if you viewed porn, you lapsed, if you jerk your wood to porn, you've definitely lapsed. I know its hard when you have a large streak, but if you dont go back to day 1, you sometimes just don't learn anything.

    I'd suggest not worrying about streaks, you start to worry about past streaks of great length and where you'll be when you're 7, 30 or 90 days down the line and that's the wrong way to fight and addiction. You need to only concentrate on the here and now, you have to get through this day, then on to the next and so on, and before you know it you'll be at 90 days and wondering where the time went.

    Hope this helps!
     
  3. Ferns

    Ferns Fapstronaut

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    You’ve relapsed mate, better reset your calendar. PMO means no porn of any kind including pictures like instagram, no masturbation wether with porn or not, and lastly orgasm.

    You’ve intentionally broke those rules. You gotta be real with yourself bruh you may want to lie about streaks to anyone but the worst person to lie is yourself cause You’re hijacking your detox progress.

    Also, don’t focus too much on streaks. Our dopamine receptor can only heal and can’t count how many days we’ve gone clean. Your brain is tricking you into doing P and M by giving you excuse it’s not a relapse. It’s a relapse mate, the only exception would be involuntary exposure and boner.

    Best of luck to you mate!
     
    ahmed_jimmie likes this.
  4. Destroyer of PMO

    Destroyer of PMO Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I also agree with you. You need to be tough otherwise you will keep relapsing.
     
    ahmed_jimmie likes this.

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