Almost relapsed ‍♂️

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by blacksky98, Aug 24, 2019.

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  1. blacksky98

    blacksky98 Fapstronaut

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    Day 24 of Nofap, and honestly am really surprised that I came such a long way. However I did break my challenge and almost relapsed. I was beating my meat to porn. It’s like every new video I click on, the visuals got better and better I kept on edging to the point when I thought I was going to nut, I was like “no no noooo” and only a little bit leaked out but I know I didn’t ejaculate. Idk if I can go a whole year without Fapping. I think I have to quit smoking for a while because I found out that was one of my triggers. Whenever am high and alone the sexual desires creeps up behind me, and that one action almost made me slip up. Tbh if I never knew about the PC muscles I would’ve nutted long time ago. But at least I know that it works. During my journey I’ve noticed I think about sex more often. I’m beating myself up for that cause I think it’s natural in this nature. And I can say I’m proud reason being I’m not thinking about porn. I think of actual females, and that’s when I act on it. I do have the occasional thoughts of porn but it doesn’t make me hard and it goes away pretty quickly. But now I’ve experienced almost fucking up I’m never doing that again.
     
    Jake n Bake likes this.
  2. Hey man I know what that is like. Trust me, I know exactly what you're talking about. Before I joined NoFap I was trying to quit on my own, weed and PMO. I'd go a couple days or even a week and then I'd say to myself that I could play with it for a little bit and as long as I didn't bust then I was okay.
    The bad part was that I could do it one or two times and stop before busting because the shame of what I was doing would hit me hard. Then sometimes I would say fuck it and bust and the shame was 1000x worse, I'd want to kill myself because my life seemed so disappointing. BE PROUD of your progress and try to stop smoking weed, I think weed has done just as much harm to my life as porn has, and look I love smoking weed, I love it more than jerking off. I feel so cool when I'm smoking on something, but it clouds your mind just like porn and sex can.

    I'm glad you made this post man, it helps me to know someone is out there with a similar situation to mine.
    I'm proud that I'm going on 4 days sober and 3 days with out jacking off. Yesterday sucked!!!! I hated myself and really was beating myself up for getting in the position I'm in now with addiction and recovery.
    I haven't made it even half as far as you have but keep fighting the good fight! God loves you man and I appreciate you!
     
    blacksky98 likes this.
  3. blacksky98

    blacksky98 Fapstronaut

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    Lol I relapsed brother
     
  4. Jake n Bake

    Jake n Bake Fapstronaut

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  5. Hey man I almost relapsed today, I was in the spot you were in and it was hard to stop. Sorry man but go for a run and just use the pain of failure to keep you strong next time you get the urge.

    I really felt it today, spent almost an hour on my phone scrolling through facebook and instagram looking for girls it would be easy to bang and that made me almost relapse when I got home. But I yelled in my car on the drive home and when i was there with my dick in my hand I just knew I could stop and feel better after getting on this forum and talking about it.

    Next time you get urges man just get on here and type everything that comes into your mind. That is what this group is for!
     
    blacksky98 likes this.

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