Almost relapsed on Day 82....

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Awakening123, May 18, 2016.

  1. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    It started yesterday when I wasn't even feeling honry or anything but I was a bit stressed out because of a major exam coming up next week. I started searching for pics and even though I have a blocker, I could still find some sexual pics here and there. I got hooked and wasted another 2 hours searching and searching but even though I didn't came across any nudes or porn, my addict part of the mind got activated and the next few hours were hell as the withdrawals started kicking in.

    Couldn't sleep at night until 3 am and the next day which is today was also bad as the withdrawals were still there. On the positive side, I have not given up and I am feeling a bit better right now. I must have thought hundreds of times to give up but I am very glad that I didn't!
     
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  2. Nom De Plume

    Nom De Plume Fapstronaut

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    Wow, sounds like a close call. Glad you made it through! As you know this middle territory can still be pretty dangerous, I came here just now because I was having urges to search for P. I really wonder how much those urges will fade long term, I know I can still get a pretty strong attack a couple months out. Keep up the good work!
    Nom
     
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  3. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks. The middle territory is very trick and dangerous. It's amazing how manipulative the addict mind can be. It always starts with a simple search or click on something innocent looking but it's all downhill from there. It's best to stop yourself right from the very beginning. I have about 4-5 blockers on my computer and yet I am able to find something that could easily make me relapse. The risky thing I am very sensitive at this stage; so even a small urge or trigger is able to create long lasting effect on me but I know it will get easier from now if I keep on fighting.
     
  4. Exonyte

    Exonyte Fapstronaut

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    glad you kept the streak alive brother. seeing your progress bar get closer to being complete actually motivates me and keeps pushing me to continue the fight
     
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  5. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks! All the best to you!
     
  6. TheWannabe

    TheWannabe Fapstronaut

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    Close calls. Be careful about what you use, though. I lost an eleven-day streak a few weeks ago because a Facebook comedian I'd been following uploaded a GIF of a hot chick pulling her shirt up. (Unfollowed that fucker.)

    What's withdrawal been doing on you, exactly?
     
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  7. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Sometimes I can't think straight. All I do is look for triggers around me if I am outside and I am constantly thinking about relapsing. Wet dreams have become frequent because of that. I am also stressed about a major exam I have next week. All these doesn't look good but I hope these withdrawals will end soon.
     
  8. TheWannabe

    TheWannabe Fapstronaut

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    Wait, wet dreams don't count as resets?

    Also, I can sympathize with the exam thing. I have both a regular exam and a Final Exam within the next two weeks, and I'm shaking in my boots (because to hell with Math).

    I wonder if this is part of flatlining...
     
  9. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    I know and in fact wet dreams helped me to release that pressure that I wouldn't when I am awake. Good luck for your exams!
     
  10. TheWannabe

    TheWannabe Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, but... wet dreams really don't count? What are their effect on the recovery process?
     
  11. Exonyte

    Exonyte Fapstronaut

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  12. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah sorry They don't count as reset.
     
  13. TheWannabe

    TheWannabe Fapstronaut

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    Okay. Do they have ANY effect on the PMO recovery process?
     
  14. LTMBB

    LTMBB Fapstronaut

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    No, they are perfectly normal and they aren't in your control, they just happen. Kinda like when you used to wet the bed as a kid. I haven't had a wet dream in a long time and I'm more than 50 days deep of no PMO
     
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  15. Awakening123

    Awakening123 Fapstronaut

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    I have had 3 so far and they all started after 45ish days. I have more sperm than I can carry.
     

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