Today I complete a month of NoFap. Gradually, I stopped Alcohol, closed my social media account, and minimised my useless interaction with this world. For some reasons, I feel extremely lonely, and I genuinely wish that I close my eyes and... I die. Love is all around, and most of the people are with their loved ones, but me. My friends and family live thousands of miles away from me, and this world has outrightly rejected me, especially girls of this world. Trust me, I am not able to see any benefits of PMO in my life. I think 30 days of suppression has made things worse. I am a 32-year-old man. I am brown. I feel ugly. I am balding rapidly. I can't speak English properly in front of anyone. Girls spit on my face saying there is no spark, men hate me as I do not exhibit their traits. I am a weak not so smart student. I am bullied by friends, professors, and supervisors. I have no hope of doing anything in my life. I have no hope of finding any women now. I just wish I was dead! If there is Santa, Jesus, God - please make this day the last day of my life. I am a loser who can't handle the pain anymore, but I am too scared to commit suicide as well.