Alone I am.. again and again...

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by PrefrontalCortex, May 26, 2018.

  1. PrefrontalCortex

    PrefrontalCortex New Fapstronaut

    This is my story.
    I am just about to turn 18. It's the final year of the school but I haven't had any real friends. It's hard to get up to go to school because I know as soon as I arrive I will put my mask on and pretend that I am very funny guy, very honest, very cool. Ideal guy, who knows just about everything, to sum up.
    Though I am not. I feel like I am pretending but I can't find courage to overcome this.

    I am interested in science. In psychology and medicine to be precise. I do read a lot of scientific texts about the newest research and find it really amazing. But because of difficulty of those texts I can't really share that with my acquaintances.

    I can't really fit in any social group to be honest. I am like a guy who gets on well with everybody but can't speak the topics he enjoys because none would probably understand.

    As I said before, I am really interested in psychology. But it seems like theory and practice are 2 different things. I try to follow the advices of people from books and even try to mimic the characters from liked movies like Star Wars(Han Solo), Pirates of the Caribbean(Jack Sparrow) and series like "Scrubs"(Doctor Cox) but fail and become anxious because I feel like I can't really offer anyone the "right" things.

    I had an experience with girls. They all rejected me before the official start (is that even considered as an experience?). Yeah, I know I make a big mistake in treating them differently and I do know that I become far too excited with what I consider "given chance" when it's actually not. But what should I do? Hide that?
    The problem is, without being in love I can't grow. My self-esteem drops immediately and I just wait doing nothing until a girl appears and I fall in love again.
    It's going circles and always ends up me being stupid and single once again.

    Guys and girls, whoever reads this will probably be more experienced, what do you think about my situation? I feel like I have 3 goals which I have no idea how to achieve.
    They are:
    - How to raise self-esteem and not depend on being in love to grow
    - How to get friends
    - And how to get the girl I fall in love with

    Thank you very much in advance
    Flyhigh likes this.
  2. This isn't really the most important thing, but I don't want it to get lost: go to the gym. Use the weight machines (unless you have a spotter and somebody who knows what they are doing to train you on the weights). Build muscle. Don't worry too much about the cardio. Muscle helps everything, not least your self-esteem and attractiveness.

    This is key: find a passion, become good at it. It can be a hobby, or a sport or your intended profession. It could even be psychology, you have the interest already. This builds genuine self-esteem (you cannot get that from acting like movie characters). Self-esteem aids enormously in all parts of life - but it really helps in dealing with women.

    You cannot approach women from an attitude of neediness, it puts them off. I've only been "lucky" when for some reason the neediness was not there. Mostly I was needy, and mostly I had no luck.

    This means that getting with women cannot be your main goal in life. I think you know this already. You must have a passion that exceeds that, which is yours, which doesn't depend on the approval of women.

    If your passion doesn't put you in contact with women, you will want to find some activity that does. Some activity where you are doing some activity with women, which doesn't specifically involve picking up the women. It doesn't have to be the passion of your life, though it should be something that you summon some interest in. Cooking classes can be good. Dancing classes can be good. would probably be worth checking into for other ideas.

    That's all I have. I haven't been real successful with women, but I've had some successes.
    Last edited: May 26, 2018
  3. You are giving others too little credit. You must have found things that would make interesting conversation topics. Try it out on people. If they don't get it, be willing to explain. If they don't like it, say "oh well" and move on to something or somebody else.
  4. PrefrontalCortex

    PrefrontalCortex New Fapstronaut

    Thank you very much! Your advice really helped! I reconsidered my altitude towards women and right now I feel like a rock just got off my back (Russian phrase).
    I guess the next topic will be "How to notice the right signals from a woman" . I guess I will handle this by myself then since I am only a beginner.
    Thank you very much again
    Immature likes this.
  5. Bijuu107

    Bijuu107 Fapstronaut

    I would advise you to say maybe for the start just one sentence to anybody in the school about the real you and the problems and not only here in the internet. Than try to find another sentence for the next day or week that you could say about your problems or something with the girls and that slowly. We call it here the Salami taktics. Overtime you will open yourself more. People maybe don't say it but they have more trust in you and can understand you better if you talk about your problems or anything like that.That's how you get real friends.

    I wish you much strenght!
  6. There are many books about body language - one of these might be helpful.

    I'll have to confess I've always been really bad at understanding the signals from women.

Share This Page