"Alpha" Male, the way we should be OR nonsense?

Alpha-male perhaps better refers to a male leader who is social, broad-minded, self-controlled, virtuous, healthy, PM free, and whole within himself (which attracts other males and females to follow such authentic leader) and not those who misconstrue it as a some phony machismo, indicative of a hedonistic, chauvinistic, predatorial, and narcissistic personality, often rooted in selfishness, insecurity, and past brokenness.

 

Let's have a look at pro's and cons

Pros:

Encourages people to exercise
Encourages people to get out more and socialise
Encourages people to make goals and go after them

These are all great pro's. Doing these things will definitely improve your life.

Cons:

The biggest con I can think of is a paranoia of not being 'Alpha'. If you believe that if you are 'alpha' or only those who are 'alpha' get love and attention from women then you suddenly become paranoid about loosing it. Of not being 'Alpha'.

The reason your life has improved is because you've been exercising, getting out more and socialising and making goals and going after them. Doing these things will improve anyone’s life and will make you more attractive. You don't have to be paranoid of acting not 'alpha' believing that women will suddenly find you repulsive if you do. People are much kinder and human then that.

This paranoia can end up making a wall between you and other people which will end up making it harder to actually socialise and find someone.

That's my 2 cents on this anyway.

 

I think that was a good read. Laughed my ass off at the Lvl. 50 Warlock part.

 

Great post, thanks for sharing. The dynamics between male and female are probably my favourite topic to talk about on this forum. I love it! Forgive me for writing an essay here, but I'm so passionate about this stuff.

For me personally, I have been studying such dynamics and the psychology of male and female for several years now.

To cut a long story short, I myself for a short while was very much into the whole Alpha male thing a couple of years back. Some people have different interpretations of what it means to be one. There are interpretations that pin the Alpha male coming from a place of arrogance, and there is the view that an Alpha male is decisive, knows he can have any female he desires, because he has a healthy self esteem and values himself. Obviously I prefer the latter, as it is less about arrogance and selfishness. There are two sides of the coin to it, if you will. A light and dark side. When I was on that path, I was more towards the "man who knows what he wants, but not arrogant." The light side, so to speak.

Now I think it's all bullshit, either side. Anything to do with pick up I now think is bullshit. Don't get me wrong. Some of the Alpha male "teachings" are beneficial in the sense that it does teach guys to grow a spine/pair of balls and to not allow women to walk all over them etc... To take life by the balls. Obviously for guys who suffer from things like social anxiety etc... Some things will benefit them as a growing man, in a spiritual sense. I do not believe in being a walk over.

I used to be quite into pick up. Not heavily, but any time I would see a lady I liked the look of, I would approach. Most of the time it went fairly well, but then I grew up again and progressed further spiritually and realised that you do not actually need to hunt for women. I then began to study about emotional addictions and that most of what we do comes from a place of fear and addiction. Just the same way someone can have physical addictions such as sex, alcohol, smoking etc... You can also have emotional addictions such as wanting to be liked by other people, addiction to women, addiction to being noticed. The list goes on, and to be frank, most emotional addictions are actually more severe than physical addictions. Emotional addictions ARE the CAUSAL reasons for physical addictions in the first place. Many just do not realise or understand this yet, or have not done research.

I totally agree with you that some of it is helpful, but that a lot of it is bullshit.
The reasons I left that way of life is because it teaches a lot of men to neglect who they really are. It gives men the impression that they must alter their personality, their unique nature to impress women or to be something in this world, and that is one of the most damaging things you can do to teach young men. It is all just society, mind control, matrix bullshit. We do not have to do anything, for anyone. Every single person just needs to be their individual, authentic self and allow their own unique light to shine in this world. Anything else is killing your nature.

All of this pick up stuff is just furthering men's addiction to women, to control them and all of those other dark emotions... It teaches men to suppress the real issues, to suppress how lonely and insecure they are, instead of actually feeling those emotions and dealing with them. It is all phony.

All that comes out of the Alpha male movement are stuck up men who look in the mirror all day and cannot stop glancing at their muscles whilst they're in the gym.

Again, don't get me wrong. I'm very much a no bullshit type of guy. I go to the gym, I look after myself, but all of these things I do for ME, not for a woman and NOT to show off my muscles. I go to the gym, not to pick up women or lust and dribble over them, but I go because I enjoy it and like looking after my body (that, and because I'm actually a qualified Personal Trainer). I'm actually into nutrition, health and fitness.

The whole Alpha male movement gives the assumption that women want some arrogant prick who is wealthy and up his own ass, and yes, although some women actually get off on the idea of men who have that lifestyle, it is not the case for ALL women. It gives off the impression that, that is the only type of woman you must be after. If you're interested in getting those type of women, you're just shallow and have some issues, equally the same for the women who adore those types of men. Each to their own, but obviously real quality lies within a persons soul, not their wealth or how much cars they have.

There are all kinds of twisted psychological reasons behind the Alpha male movement that all come from a place of deep insecurity and a feeling of unworthiness towards women. 90% of men get involved in the Alpha male movement strictly for the sake of stacking women's phone numbers in the phones. That already tells you a lot. Women are not some fucking prize. They are humans. It is the motive behind the Alpha male movement that is corrupt. It portrays women a certain way, and even if SOME of those portrayals are true, you're still being brainwashed. No human being is one certain way, and the teachings teach you that women are this way, and that you have to be this way to achieve certain things. Not true.

What needs to really be taught to young men is that self reflection every single day is vital, and that becoming the best version of yourself without arrogance is key. To be your authentic, unique self everyday. Get to know yourself, engage your desires and passions everyday and prosper spiritually. When you adopt this healthy mindset, you'll likewise attract your soul mate into your life, who actually and technically is the only person who can satisfy you emotionally and physically anyway. No other woman will compare, no matter how she looks.

Lastly to wrap this up, I'll tell you all honestly (and not to boast as I actually do not care about this) I have dates some REALLY good looking women, and it's not all it's hyped up to be. Some strikingly gorgeous women are just uneducated bimbos who have NO emotional substance whatsoever. Some men are striving for this, when in reality they are just going to find themselves lost and empty, led into a never ending dark abyss. Your soul mate is the ONLY person who will be able to fully understand you and connect with you on a deep, soul level. Nothing else comes close, no matter how stunning that blonde is that you cannot keep your eyes off of.

Done.

 

The "Alpha-male" approach ends up reinforcing objectification of women. Instead of using images of women for sexual pleasure, you go out in the world and use actual female bodies. It becomes about "how many chicks you can bang". Such an attitude, I think, is utterly disgusting and a perversion of male sexuality. Male sexuality is about love, compassion, support, confidence, letting women live into the fullest expression of their female sexuality instead of making themselves into objects for your sexual pleasure. A true male should never be afraid of a true female. Only males that aren't confident enough in their own sexuality feel the need to reduce women's sexuality into a safe form by objectifying them.

Also, needless to say the whole Alpha thing is a failed analogy, because even wolf packs don't have "alpha" males.

 

Here's a good vid about real male sexuality:

 

@JustADude I'm hear to clear the air concerning my original post that got your attention. I feel that they way I wrote it lead to great misinterpretation probably because my brain works in weird ways and I draw associations between things that tend to go unnoticed.

As I recall, I said "Sex is not intercourse. Sex starts at the beginning of the day". This is an overarching concept that simply means sex is the buildup to a climax. If you're living with your sexual partner, and you wake up with them, you ought to start the day on good terms and flirt and complement them and so on. There are plenty of men who are uncomfortable with regular physical contact. I have a friend who has had maybe 30+ one night stands and only one girlfriend, who left him, because he cannot display affection unless there is an agenda and a very short term plan. What I was attempting to say, what would be sound behavior, would be to show your lover affection throughout the day and keep them on your mind. This is the law of transference, which correlates to clarity of intent. To me this is natural, but to others this is not.

I also said to convince yourself that a man must invest all of his energy into his creation. When he is spent, his remaining energy goes to his lover.

This is not a rule for everyone, but take into account that for some, PMO addiction leads to unnaturally high libido. I also do not believe in high and low libido. I believe that our circumstances (energy expenditure), health, age, and mental orientation (what you're into and what you're focused on) determine your libido.

Let me tell you a story about myself. When I got into my first sexual relationship I discovered that I do not loose erections. This means, I can literally have sex until my body aches from soreness (which I have done). I also discovered that after organism, I experience a chaser effect, meaning one orgasm is not satisfactory. If left without self discipline, I will continue having sex repeatedly to the point of exhaustion (which I have done). Basically, once I start having sex, I cannot stop. Now, this was great for about 2 months, until my ex had taken too much... damage. For a while, I experienced a dry spell, where she avoided sex with me because from her perspective it'd start off great, and go for a while, but when she was burned out, I'd keep going... relentlessly.

I did some research and discovered that normal sessions of sex ought to last around 30 to 45 minutes at most. I also learned that more physical exertion and creative output can effectively drop the libido. So I started lifting weights, while I was working as a furniture delivery man, and spent my nights producing graphic art. I would basically spend all week breaking my body.

After a few weeks, my ex seemed to be hornier. I made myself scarce/busy and wasn't hurting her with super long sessions of sex, which made my time with her more valuable. We were having much more normal sex and it became more regular. She wanted to see me more. I normally only saw her on the weekends and then she'd start coming over once or twice in the week and always inviting me over on the weekends.

The thing is, with someone like me, I can become addicted to female affection or addicted to love. This is a real thing. I think that PMO addiction facilitates it. I'd get jealous and insecure very, very easily. So when I say, put all your energy into creating something/work and give what remains to your lover. I speak from experience. Because if I were to not bust my a** 24/7, I would find another woman, become addicted to her affection, become needy, totally reliant on her affection for validation, and ruin the relationship.

My conclusion basically was that when you are worried that you aren't getting enough sex it's because you have become addicted to validation/ego complex you let your mind build around sex. Instead, a man ought to be self-validating, where he can be proud of his work, his contribution to the world and not fret over his lover's reduced libido. So the mindset shouldn't be "I'm getting laid less; I need a solution to increase my sex frequency". It ought to be, "I'm getting laid less; I have now discovered I have all this extra energy. I'm going to go build a rocket-ship!".

You read my original post as if it were from the perspective of a man who cannot love and must validate himself by receiving sex. But my post comes from the perspective of a man who knows his weaknesses, his vices, and knows that without discipline, and being constantly self aware, he will fall in love again and break his heart and his lover's heart again.

I use social dynamics because I have to regulate myself. I have too much empathy for people to the point where it gets me hurt. I use value assessments to keep myself from falling in with the wrong people and wasting my time/money. I apply social dynamics so that I can make friends at work. I use social dynamics to diffuse fights or when people act aggressive towards me. I use social dynamics so that people cannot use me.

 

Could you give an example of such advice?

 

^This makes we want to start a "Celebrate Celibacy" thread, but that sounds stupid. But man, when did it become so uncool not to have sex? Why is being a virgin a kind of social death? Personally, I respect people who are celibate. Truly celibate, I mean, not just single with a PMO habit. Celibate people have something these alphas lack: self-discipline, restraint, control, self-respect.

 

Men are concerned about sex because modern society has made all their other contributions redundant.

The man as hunter: replaced with supermarkets and under attack by animal rights zelaots and spaghetti-armed vegans. Canned hunts probably don't help either.

The man as warrior: The military is a shell of its former self, a politically correct bureaucracy that can't make up its mind how to deal with the people in occupied territories. For most servicemen it's another lame government job and the ones that actually see combat soon find out that they're last in line for promotions and medals. Oh, and the military will help your wife take you to the cleaners even if you were a former POW. Thanks soldier!

The man as breadwinner: Women now make up the majority of the workforce, and in large cities they actually out-earn men performing the same job. Doesn't stop them from expecting men to pay for their shit, so you end up with the worst of both worlds. And if your wife earns more than you she'll think of you as another kid (Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi admitted to this.) And that's before your wife kicks you out of the house for whatever stupid reason and keeps your income stream. So a man has to choose between being a manchild or Boxer from Animal Farm. In addition, Gail Dines pointed out that playboy caught on because of all the husbands who felt that their contibutions were unappreciated (which may have started with Betty Friedan's rants about "comfortable concentration camps")

The man as father: If your wife can take the kids at any time and has the final decision on how to raise them, it isn't really your genetic legacy, it's her's. You're just the sperm donor.

The man as inventer/innovator: I don't think anyone ever cared about this. Men invent almost anything but the only inventions anyone specifically credits to men are the ones that kill people (usually when trying to make the case that women are morally superior.) Land a probe on an asteroid and all anyone cares about is your "sexist" shirt (that a woman made for you as a gift.)

What does that leave? Making girl's panties wet. And if you can't do that, you're not even on the radar until a woman needs something. Have fun!

 

Yeah sorry. I didn't mean that I wanted you to kick up a stink. It's just that you referred to a lot of guys posting about "alpha" content in your original thread. We don't want to single anyone out here.

Indeed I did. Am I going to be forever judged for linking Corey Wayne videos?

I have more to say on this topic, but I don't have the time to express it now. Will post again soon.
Kind regards

 

Yes I do. The father's role is the head of the family and has the final say in everything. But as long as the mother can kick him out with no real evidence of abuse, she has control of everything the kids see and hear, and as we all know women can't raise men. They just get emasculated and smothered while mom brags on facebook about how she's both a mother and a father (while her ex husband is the one actually paying for everything) And since you want to play the "real man" card (as if "alphas" are something different) real men don't put themselves in situations where women or children can dominate them, or where they have responsibility but no authority.

 

Interesting thread, good read haha!

 

I don't think there is any way we should be.