Always being rejected by girls doesn't boost my confidence

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Rambozila, Mar 22, 2019.

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  1. Rambozila

    Rambozila New Fapstronaut

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    As someone who is supposed to be in the age of enjoying life, getting into parties, having a bunch of sex, meeting a lot of people, getting none of that, especially the part about girls is the hardest to deal with. It's not like many people think that I see women as an object for sex, it's just that whenever I'm into a girl and try my best to have something serious with that girl, it just collapse and that has leaved me with a low self-esteem, constant fap problems, and i think there is no light of this getting better.
     
    Sadiq Khan likes this.
  2. ShyIIock

    ShyIIock Fapstronaut

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    Brother same for me. 22, never had a gf or any intimate relationship. After being denied many times, I dont approach girls anymore, so afraid of another rejection. I know excatly how you fell, trust me. All I can say is that youre NOT alone with this problem and there IS a lot of people like you or me, that overcame same struggle. I wish you all luck and hopefuly you will get better :)
     
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  3. fapequalsdeath

    fapequalsdeath Fapstronaut

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    +1 , what a bunch of broken individuals we are in here on this forum
     
    Rambozila likes this.
  4. ShyIIock

    ShyIIock Fapstronaut

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    Maybe my post was little bit too depresive :D , but there is always hope as I tried to explain at the end. Worst thing is to give up. You can always at least try to get a better life and just by trying youre moving forward and exploring new stuff and getting bigger.

    And yes, I really do believe to what ive just wrote. Even though I feel like the whole universe and God is against me. So why you wouldnt believe, faith/hope is the best fuel and it doesnt cost anything :)
     
    goodnice 2.0 likes this.
  5. aerokus

    aerokus Fapstronaut

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    Not being able to find a girl in real life will definitely drive most people deeper into PMO addiction, because they think 'what's the point of depriving myself of PMO when I can't get any satisfaction in real life anyway?'
    But if you are a PMO addict, you are so much less likely to get a relationship. And if you are not a PMO addict, you will find it easier.
    When a girl finally does come along, your PMO addiction will make it impossible for you to properly have sex.
    If you are PMO free, your energy stops being wasted on fapping multiple times a day and you put it towards looking better, and pursuing women.
    The first thing you can do if you want to be more successful with girls is start a 90 day streak and try to improve your looks/attractiveness. It will be worth it.
     
    Rambozila and ameliorate1 like this.
  6. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to be honest here, so forgive me if it comes off a bit harsh.

    #1: You are not suppose to be doing anything. There's no guidebook or rules. You may be really out of shape or be awkward or have poor hygene. If you keep waiting around waiting for things that are "suppose" to happen they are never going to happen. You have to make changes to YOURSELF, small, slow and steady.

    #2: Are you talking to girls in your league? If you keep asking the prom queen out and you are a normal dude, I'm sorry but you are always going to get rejected.

    #3: Have you tried just letting your natural attraction out and stop trying to force it? At first I made the mistake of hitting on all these hot women and I got rejected. It wasn't until I accepted who I was and what I could get that I started hooking up with a few fat chicks and not so attractive chicks. But those times were all great lessons and gave me the confidence to date hotter women and I eventually landed a relationship with a gorgeous women. But I would never have dated her if I didn't make out with a whale in the back of a tavern and finger blast her like I was digging for oil. Practice makes perfect, even embarrassing practice.

    #4: Getting a girl should be the last thing on your mind. Get into decent shape first, commit to one good hobby, find a gym friend or at least one person to hang out with, start going to things on your own, settle into a decent social life and THEN get a girl. Everyone wants to do that in the OPPOSITE order. That's the trap you need to avoid and have fallen into.
     
    Janus321, CH3RRY, ? ? ? and 2 others like this.
  7. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Have you tried going for a plain jane or slightly overweight gal?
     
  8. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Lol'ing forever at your #3.
     
    Newlife33 likes this.
  9. SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

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    I used to think in a similar way when I was younger, that everyone else was out getting laid every night and having the time of their lives. Some people maybe, but everyone lives their life differently and parties / drinking etc. aren't for everyone, even though there is sometimes a perception that this is the case. It sounds like maybe you are feeling a certain amount of pressure to conform to this, but there are many other ways to meet people and enjoy life.

    Why is this do you think? Are you getting friendzoned or do they just reject you straight out?
     
    OnTheEdge and Rambozila like this.
  10. ? ? ?

    ? ? ? Fapstronaut

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    Boom . . .
     
  11. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    When even fat feminazis feel entitled to Turbo Chads, you know the feminine primary social order has made a significant cultural shift.
     
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

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    It could be worse. Take me as example, I'm 39 still sometimes trying to pick up girls when I go to the city but all I get are rejections and sometimes in a rude manner too :(
     
  13. Roffelaar

    Roffelaar Fapstronaut

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    Picking up girls is a skill man and you gotta learn it. Just try to learn more about it by watching videos or reading books and apply in practice.

    I did a week bootcamp about picking up girls. If it really struggles you so much and you are too afraid to get rejected over and over and need some assistence. I would consider doing a bootcamp. I became a complete different human being.

    Just feel free to ask me some advice brother I'm all open for it.
     
  14. Young_G

    Young_G Fapstronaut

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    Same here.
     
  15. Thomas Smith

    Thomas Smith Fapstronaut

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    But you show that a guy CAN get someone out of his league, right? You start out saying "It wasn't until I accepted who I was and what I could get ..." and end up saying "I eventually landed a relationship with a gorgeous woman".
     
  16. Newlife33

    Newlife33 Fapstronaut

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    Totally. I fully believe everyman deep down knows his true potential. I know that I will never be a ballet dancer or a major league pitcher or a competitive eater. But there was always an image in my head of who I really was, which was then followed up by what I am worthy of achieving and people being around me. My self image and the women I deserved were a parallel growth.
     
  17. Alhabor

    Alhabor Fapstronaut

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    Dude, I get it. I’ve been rejected quite a few times by women. I had enough of it so I went on dating sites for women in different countries. I got married when I was 23 (currently 26) I was divorced by 25. She was a girl from the Dominican Republic who just wanted a green card. It was a sham marriage. Now I’m back at square one. Not all but most American women really suck. That’s why I looked overseas.
     
  18. Marik757

    Marik757 Fapstronaut

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    You have to be rejected in order to learn how to improve. If you choose to dwell on things then nothing with change when you encounter the next women. Work with your flaws, and overcome them in time.

    1. Do you suck socially? Cant make an girl laugh? Then learn to communicate and banter.

    2. Do something with your time which involves other people (ignore the bar/club scene). Stay active, take classes.

    3. Let women come to you as you work on yourself. Dont be desperate to look for an relationship when you're not ready for it.


    An women isnt going to teach you how to become confident. Because you should ready be confident in who you are when pursuing her. Also, dont make everything you do to improve yourself to try and get back with someone. Move on and meet other people, else they will see you as desperate/needy.
     
  19. ADGiving

    ADGiving Fapstronaut

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    really false man, sometimes things do happen when u wait for them, but i know its rare,
     
  20. ADGiving

    ADGiving Fapstronaut

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    this point is by far the best, i have had about 3 women come into my life without me looking for them after doing noFap but still i dont want them in my life anymore
     

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