Am I a Sissy?? (Actually a good story with happy ending, trust me, read the whole thing)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by modernstore99, Nov 5, 2020.

  1. Robert.G99

    Robert.G99 Fapstronaut

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    I read all of your story and oh man...so many similarities to mine. I watched some weird types of porn over the last 1.5 - 2 years including sissy, gay, trans, gore, snuff, hentai, bestiality etc. which really fu***d up my personality, self-esteem and overall my all identity.

    I'm confused about my sexuality at this point thinking that I might be bisexual, but in reality I'm not into men or doing anything with one. I didn't have or used any sex toys like you, but at one point I wanted to and after a while I snapped to reality and thought logically. I don't want this and I will never do it. I had thoughts about being raped or being a female, but there were just thoughts and that's what will remain. It's weird because this happens for about 6 months only. And oh yeah, I'm 22 by the way. Because of porn and low self-esteem I didn't had sex or a girlfriend. I want to, but porn and what happened in the last 6 months has been a wall in front of me.

    I just want my old life back, my old self. I feel like an alien in my own body, it's very weird. I'll try to go 100 days hard mode till 28 of December and God I hope everything will at least turn into good. I became suicidal and my mental health is at a point break, so I need this change in my life...and if it will not happen...at least I know what ot do.

    Thank you for sharing this story!
     
    MrBlue201 likes this.
  2. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Suicide is never the answer brother. There is a fantastic life ahead of you, full of people who care about you. I know you feel terrible now, but it's truly because of your porn addiction. The way it changes your brain makes you unable to enjoy life, making you feel suicidal. Once you reboot and rewire, life, relationships, work, and improving yourself are all so rewarding and so fun.

    You just have to get out of this rut. Once you do, everything will be so much clearer.
     
    cato-the-younger and Dr.J_76ers like this.
  3. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    1. Check out this other thread I made Using Brain Chemistry to Inhibit Compulsions and Reboot Easier. In short, your horniness is caused by dopamine. A way to counteract this is to increase the amount of serotonin in your brain, which inhibits the effects of dopamine. You can find a better explanation and more methods in the thread, but the best include long distance endurance exercises (running, biking, swimming), time spent outside and in nature, having a high carb and high protein diet, and lowering your alcohol intake. You can find other ways to increase serotonin online.

    2. I already said it, but running and other exercises that work your legs are great for reducing horniness. When you're aroused, blood is sent to your dick and pelvic region to engorge the area; if you do not climax, the blood stays there, giving you either blue balls or making your erection stay, both of which keep you aroused. When this happens, distance running or leg day at the gym recycles this extra blood away from those regions, making your arousal either significantly lower or doing away with it completely. Running/leg day when you're not horny also just tires out your legs and pelvic region, making them unresponsive when you're horny.

    3. Limiting time in environments that make you aroused is very important; for many guys, this is mainly time spent in their rooms and on their computer. If you're working or are in school, spend your entire day at work or at the library/class. Leave your living space when you eat breakfast, and don't come back until you eat dinner or need to sleep. If you can, spend as little time on your computer as possible. If you have a computer, use that. If your mind ca tell PMO isn't even an option, you won't get as horny.

    4. When urges do come up, don't overthink them or "try" to make them go away. Just let them be, and accept that you need to do something else because the urges just aren't important. A conversation I literally had with myself went like this:
    "I know I'm thinking of getting spit-roasted by two NFL players in a chastity cage and Victoria's Secret lingerie, but I have a Calculus exam in two days that I need to prepare for so the spit-roast is just gonna have to wait."
    The thought slowly died out because I just was not giving it any attention.

    5. Spend time with friends and family. These activities also release hormones that calm your sexual arousal. It's really hard to stay horny when talking to your friends.

    6. Spend time with a sexual/romantic partner. Kissing, hugging, and cuddling a SO will definitely calm your urges by releasing oxytocin. Engaging in sex acts (on her!) will also calm the sexual parts of your brain.
     
    Dr.J_76ers likes this.
  4. Guyfaulx1605

    Guyfaulx1605 Fapstronaut

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    Hang in there brother, try nofap if that doesn’t work for you you might want to talk to a therapist. And there’s no shame in doing that btw. Also, we are always here on this forum if you should ever need to talk to someone.






    QUOTE="Robert.G99, post: 3136073, member: 453087"]I read all of your story and oh man...so many similarities to mine. I watched some weird types of porn over the last 1.5 - 2 years including sissy, gay, trans, gore, snuff, hentai, bestiality etc. which really fu***d up my personality, self-esteem and overall my all identity.

    I'm confused about my sexuality at this point thinking that I might be bisexual, but in reality I'm not into men or doing anything with one. I didn't have or used any sex toys like you, but at one point I wanted to and after a while I snapped to reality and thought logically. I don't want this and I will never do it. I had thoughts about being raped or being a female, but there were just thoughts and that's what will remain. It's weird because this happens for about 6 months only. And oh yeah, I'm 22 by the way. Because of porn and low self-esteem I didn't had sex or a girlfriend. I want to, but porn and what happened in the last 6 months has been a wall in front of me.

    I just want my old life back, my old self. I feel like an alien in my own body, it's very weird. I'll try to go 100 days hard mode till 28 of December and God I hope everything will at least turn into good. I became suicidal and my mental health is at a point break, so I need this change in my life...and if it will not happen...at least I know what ot do.

    Thank you for sharing this story![/QUOTE]
     
  5. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I'm glad you had a moment of clarity, broke this terrible habit, and are now on the path to recovery. I'm sure you'll find solutions just like myself and so many others!
     
  6. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Made an update in the original post so y'all can see how my life has been. It's been going well! Recovery and healing totally works
     
    MrBlue201, Mr Rn and Revanthegrey like this.
  7. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    If I am being honest I do not have any interest in becoming a sissy I tend to be fairly rugged and masculine about the majority of the time but I have desires to be more feminine with women. There's just something about the opposite sex that brings out my softer side and tends to make me more "effete" as a result. So I'd say I have a borderline sissy fetish rather than full blown. Ideally I'd like to save the macho side for public and the bros and the Effie for the woman I am with but Idk Maybe it'd be best if I tried to abstain from this desire.
     
    Guyfaulx1605 likes this.
  8. it may be a fantasy that is a turn off for the woman, that's what I'm thinking at least, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure its a turn off to most women and if she's into it - maybe she just wants to use your weakness to her favor lol (like sexting online is an obvious trap)
     
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2021
  9. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    Shoot, Whelp I guess I should work on cutting out my soft side altogether then and Just be macho 24/7. No emotions or soft side right?
     
    MrBlue201 likes this.
  10. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Being a little more sensitive when alone with women and having a compulsive sissy fetish are not the same lol. That's totally normal and fine. In fact, trying too hard to always be masculine and seeing traditionally "feminine" emotions as weaker is what leads to sissy fetish mindsets.
     
    Dioplleo_547 likes this.
  11. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    So I am not a sissy for wanting to be more feminine around women? Or take part in feminine activities while being alone with a woman?
     
  12. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    What do you mean by "feminine"?
     
  13. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    Well... Okay this is where the potential sissy fetish comes in. I really wouldn't mind if a woman asked me to wear guyliner on our dates or I wouldn't mind at all if she wanted to paint my toenails and my lady finger. (My left pinkie finger is shorter then my right pinkie finger hence the name lady finger.) Or watch a chick flick with her as long as we got to watch an action movie or play a co-op video game with me. Or if we tried flirting or kissing she'd ask "Babe are you blushing?!" "That so cute!!!" Or maybe just spend a little time playing with her hair. Or painting all of her nails, or Just watching her as she does a little fashion show for me. But I wouldn't let it go too far and become a full blown sissy myself. This is what I mean by feminine.
     
  14. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Alrighty first off, watching a chick flick, blushing, playing with a girl's hair, painting her nails, and watching her do a fashion show are all totally not feminine things. Those are all super normal, and I would even say expected, for any sexual relationship more emotionally available than FWBs (besides painting her nails, but not by much, I would not think it's weird if a guy did that for his gf, just wouldn't think it was typical).

    In regards to you having your nails painted and wearing eyeliner, I would definitely say that's "interesting" and not very typical, but not necessarily signs that you have a sissy fetish. If you haven't consumed any sissy, shemale, CDing, or feminization media and these ideas just came to you, then they pretty much are definitely not a sissy fetish. Remind me have you consumed sissy porn and similar materials in the past? It is interesting that you want a woman you like to ask you to put on eyeliner though; can you elaborate on that?

    Wearing eyeliner and painting your nails are activities normally done by feminine people, but I don't think that really qualifies them as "feminine". The only guy I know that paints his nails is like 200 lbs of solid muscle and otherwise extremely masculine, he just likes the way his nails look when painted.

    Since you're still pretty young and full of hormones, I would settle down and focus on the vanilla kissy-kissy stuff. Just try to hang with girls you like, makeout with them, and maybe get a couple of them in bed. Once you know what you like in the bedroom and you're confident in yourself and your life, maybe start messing around with the makeup.
     
    Dioplleo_547 likes this.
  15. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    No, well... Okay, I watch one video of trans porn [On Accident] and that's when I realized it was time to stop watching porn altogether I figured I was getting into unchartered water with that stuff. But other than that not really anything else to do with that sort of lifestyle. Never got into dresses, panties sissy hypno, or forced feminization. All this being said, I did have a phase where I was interested in Chastity (For NoFap purposes only) but never really got turned on by it.
     
  16. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    I think you're fine. Just stay away from porn and stick to vanilla stuff until you're a little older lol
     
    Dioplleo_547 likes this.
  17. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    I can agree with this one, Dark sex is to be enjoyed by adults only. Not for teenagers.
     
  18. Dioplleo_547

    Dioplleo_547 Fapstronaut

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    Just two problems here, the first is I am interested in converting to Catholicism so not sure premarital sex is a good thing.
    Second problem is how am I supposed to meet new people when I am stuck at home because of The Coof? Well I am allowed out of the house when my parents permit it. But I think it would be a good Idea to get a place of my own before meeting women. If and when The Coof ever ends.
     
  19. WatchMeRise

    WatchMeRise Fapstronaut

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    I've never watched sissy porn, but I still find your story compelling.
    I wish you all the best for the future!
     
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  20. wicket

    wicket Fapstronaut

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    Omg it's tagged like a porn site wtf
     

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