Am I bisexual? Gay porn and fantasies.

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Hey everyone,

I'm a bit new to this site but I wanted to make this post to get some feedback. I know you guys cant define my sexuality for me but I just wanted your thoughts.

To make this short, I've been addicted to porn since I was 12 or 13. I started off on straight porn to see girls, and I've always liked girls and never wanted anything to do with guys. Always had crushes on women, checked them out, etc. I have never wanted to be with a guy at all.

This changed when I was introduced to gay porn. After a while I got hooked on it and it was my main porn I watched. Still straight porn too, but gay porn was the main. My gay porn addiction has gone on for years and up until this day. I don't think I am gay and still identify as straight, but I've now developed HOCD. I look back on all the things I've done and it scares me.

I've been worried I'm actually bi because I have all these fantasies about sucking dick and being dominated and being a bottom for a guy. After I orgasm, this goes away completely, but when I'm horny I feel like it's what I want. Mind you, this never happened before porn. But this gay porn addiction has lead me to go on grindr and sext with guys and put things in my ass because I was so warped by the porn and I thought it was what I wanted. I honestly feel like such shit because I dont feel like it's who I am. I've always liked women and wanted to be with them and even have a girlfriend right now who I love, but yet I have these fantasies about being dominated by a guy and sucking him off. When I fantasize about the gay stuff it feels so artificial, but for some reason gets me off even quicker than straight fantasies. If someone came up and asked me my orientation I would say straight, but after I all have fantasized about and watched I feel like I cant be. Recently when I first started developing the HOCD, I experimented with the bisexual label on myself, but it just doesnt feel right to me. No offense in any way to and bisexual people out there, but I just dont feel like it's who I really am.

I just wish I couldve never seen porn in the first place and wouldnt be having to deal with this. I just want to live worry-free. I'm in such a confusing spot right now. I should have actually mentioned that for about 3 weeks I have cut out porn and I have been seeing results. My gay fantasies werent as prominent and I've been thinking about women more. But just today, I saw something that lead me back to porn and I got off to it. And what makes it even worse is that I saw bunch of images of dicks and my fantasies jumped all over it and imagined me sucking them and I did get aroused from it. And I saw blowjob scene and my mind was thinking how I wished I was that girl giving the blowjob to that guy, but as soon as I orgasmed, this went away. I just feel so awful for being able to get aroused by dicks and I just feel like I'll never recover or find myself.

I dont really know what else to add but if anyone can give any input or advice, that would be great. Thanks.
 
This is a great place for you since I am sure tons of guys will say how what you are feeling is not normal and how you can "convert" back to being straight. So I'll be in minority since I am (probably) gay.

First of all, there is no need for you to label yourself. @vader223 is @vader223 . You do not need to be anything else for anyone else but you. But, if you do want to label yourself, take your time. I've been thinking about what I am for years now and I am still not sure! There are some thoughts, but until I try everything I want to do and understand what I do and what I do not like, I am me.

Also, do you think being with guys is wrong? Since it seems like you do. I honestly think that you may be repressing your bisexuality, but again, I am not you and no one but you knows the answer to that question.

What I think you should do is continue doing NoFap and stay away from any kind of artificial stimulation. You said that your urges to be with guys are lower while you are doing NoFap but you didn't said they disappeared. That's why I think you might be bi. Nevertheless, keep doing what you are doing and when you get to about 90 days, have a talk with yourself and see how you feel. If urges to be with a guy still continues, I think you should act on them. Then you could go on Grindr, spend some time there, find a guy that you really like, explain to him how you feel and try it. The answer will come after that experience. Maybe you won't like it and realize that everything was just your imagination. Maybe you will like it and continue doing it. Maybe you would realize you are not bi even before you get on Grindr. Who knows!

Good luck on your fight. I wish you all the best. If you want to talk more about this topic, feel free to message me.
 
I'm not gay, but as a guy who has seen too much porn, I don't share any of your experiences or urges about men. It has never crossed my mind that I'd like to give a guy a bj or be a bottom. I don't want this to sound like I'm judging you. Just sharing it as a point of view. It sounds like you've got some bisexual desires.

You mentioned several times in your post that you are worried about being bisexual. Why? If that is who/what you are, why does it worry you? My 2 cents (if you're into taking advice from guys who are struggling with porn addiction) is to figure out who you are, accept it, and love it. Life is too short, man. Do what makes you happy.
 
oggybendoggy said:
You mentioned several times in your post that you are worried about being bisexual. Why? If that is who/what you are, why does it worry you? My 2 cents (if you're into taking advice from guys who are struggling with porn addiction) is to figure out who you are, accept it, and love it. Life is too short, man. Do what makes you happy.
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:emoji_clap:Ex:emoji_clap:act:emoji_clap:ly!:emoji_clap:
I was blowing one bisexual guy for quite a while who always had sexual tendencies towards guys but never acted on them. I was one of his very few experiences with the guys. And his last. Why? Because he decided that he did not wanted to live a life where he didn't tried stuff with guys just for it to later emerge to him in his life and potentially cheat on his future wife with a random guy just to finally get to know how does it feel. Now he knows how it is and is searching for a girlfriend to spend the rest of his life with.
 
oggybendoggy said:
I'm not gay, but as a guy who has seen too much porn, I don't share any of your experiences or urges about men. It has never crossed my mind that I'd like to give a guy a bj or be a bottom. I don't want this to sound like I'm judging you. Just sharing it as a point of view. It sounds like you've got some bisexual desires.

You mentioned several times in your post that you are worried about being bisexual. Why? If that is who/what you are, why does it worry you? My 2 cents (if you're into taking advice from guys who are struggling with porn addiction) is to figure out who you are, accept it, and love it. Life is too short, man. Do what makes you happy.
Click to expand...

I understand how most people would assume that I would be bisexual, honestly if I were reading this from your standpoint, I probably would too. I just believe it is part of escalation. I started out on straight porn because I wanted to see naked women. I never had any sort of male fantasy before my porn addiction started. I have always wanted to be with women, have sex with them, check them out, etc. Not to sound weird or anything but I love women, everything about them. I have no desire to ever date a man and I have never seen a guy out in public that I wanted to have a sex with. All the fantasies are usually about people in porn that I've seen and reflect the material I was watching. But as I was saying about the escalation, I started on straight porn and it kept on getting more and more extreme. I ended up having to watch like hard anal stuff to get off. Then I developed some weird fetish for anal and it lead me to transgendered person porn. I got hooked on that and then it took a step forward to gay porn. I just dont feel deep down that I am bi and all these fantasies just seem artificial and just induced by porn.
 
vader223 said:
I understand how most people would assume that I would be bisexual, honestly if I were reading this from your standpoint, I probably would too. I just believe it is part of escalation. I started out on straight porn because I wanted to see naked women. I never had any sort of male fantasy before my porn addiction started. I have always wanted to be with women, have sex with them, check them out, etc. Not to sound weird or anything but I love women, everything about them. I have no desire to ever date a man and I have never seen a guy out in public that I wanted to have a sex with. All the fantasies are usually about people in porn that I've seen and reflect the material I was watching. But as I was saying about the escalation, I started on straight porn and it kept on getting more and more extreme. I ended up having to watch like hard anal stuff to get off. Then I developed some weird fetish for anal and it lead me to transgendered person porn. I got hooked on that and then it took a step forward to gay porn. I just dont feel deep down that I am bi and all these fantasies just seem artificial and just induced by porn.
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I don't really know how to assist you.Honestly speaking I do like guys.What is happening to you is a struggle.There is nothing wrong with feeling like you want a guy but you clearly feel otherwise.
My suggestion is you try reboot.If the feeling persist don't be hard on yourself. Bi or gay feeling have nothing to do with what you feel in your heart,it is a pure attraction.
 
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I am on the same boat man. Unfortunately, I can't put my finger on why we feel or think like this, but definitely P has a lot to do with it. I guess that our best way to figure it out is just to stay away from P and see if there is any progress. On the other hand stop worrying or feeling shame about what you feel. You are what you are and that only concern you, if there is something you have to admit, just accept it. Denying your feeling won't solve anything. I am not I am implying you should go crazy for anything.
 
You could be 1. Bisexual. Which can be super weird and confusing ifnur tryna figure yourself out.
2. A strait guy with gay fantasies. More common than you think. Around 22% of straight males watch gay porn.
3. Could be gay and in denial, though it seems kinda unlikely. Most people know that theyre gay
Remember sexuality is a spectrum and most of us whether we admit it or not fall somewhere in the middle.
Ever thought about being submissive to a female? You could just have a submissive side to you even though youre strait.
 
If you really think u have HOCD. Stop trying to figure your sexuality out. Just have a so what kind of mentality. Stop watching porn, and youll eventually figure it out.
I actually went to a therapist who specialized in gay affirmation just for him basically to twll me i should see an ocd specialist lol
 
Unfortunately it seems the account was deleted, I might have shared some thoughts as I went through the same thing. I'm sure you deleted it out of shame, confusion and what not. I recognize that. You watch porn and while doing it, it can be pretty exciting to confirm supposed bisexuality or homosexuality. But then when you're done, you feel absolutely repulsed. Classical conditioning/escalation.

If somehow you are still returning, rest assured you definitely have escalation induced hocd. I mean, a real gay person will feel attracted to the same gender aside from looking at porn. It's a type of escalation that is hard to put into words but resembles sissy fetish. Basically after a while your brain can no longer process the excitement of seeing women doing certain sexual stuff to men and it will in some very weird way start thinking that what it sees the women do is more fun than imagining being the man. This is pure escalation. It is absolutely messed up and one of the worst fetishes you can get. It is also one of the most exciting ones since it involves a lot of shock and perversion.

I have been porn free for nearly two years and it's only recently that I've been able to clearly see how big of a lie it really is. I mean I'd even date men as I was still heavily addicted and always ran away before anything happened as I felt so grossed out and could tell it wasn't what I wanted and that it was the porn messing with my head. But I kept having those fantasies. Long story short one day I decided to put another man's dong in my mouth and it repulsed me so much I thought I knew for sure. Next day, same old fantasies. That is what porn is capable of. It will mess up your mind if you let it. I was in that boat once, I no longer think of shirtless men with six packs as what I want and all of my wet dreams have been about women, you can't even begin to understand how much of a relief that has been. I had a serious porn addiction for the better part of a decade and slowly but surely this type of fetish can creep up on you. Everyone will at some point get into some sort of fetish because of the escalation involved and for some guys like us this sissy/gay type of thing just happens to be what the brain figures is the most exciting. It's nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time it is, it can create a lot of confusion and start messing with your head to the point of generating obsessions. The utmost important thing you must do is to stop watching porn. If you ever want to do away with this fetish, you need to stop masturbating to porn. Even then it will take years to slowly, slowly return to baseline arousal.

I'm sure any real gay person will be able to confirm being gay involves a heck of a lot more than jerking off to other men. I mean obviously they will do this but they won't be ashamed because of it let alone feel real life attraction towards women. It can be so utterly confusing for a whole bunch of reasons but at the end of the day it's really simple. You aren't meant to watch porn and it's only when you stop and listen to your heart that the truth will set you free. If you feel no sexual attraction towards men in real life and don't spend days thinking about one particular gay the way you do about women, you can't be bi. Fantasy does strange things. Did you know the most common sexual fantasy women have involves lesbian sex and rape? Somehow what we want the least in real life, often can be the most exciting in fantasy. These fetishes they just creep up on you. That's just what porn does, countless stories of men escalating into sissy or transgender fetish.

Anyway hope it helps man and just remember that you won't be able to overcome without tackling the root cause which most definitely is your porn consumption. That is what is feeding your doubts, confusion and obsessions.
 
Deleted Account said:
Hey everyone,

I'm a bit new to this site but I wanted to make this post to get some feedback. I know you guys cant define my sexuality for me but I just wanted your thoughts.

To make this short, I've been addicted to porn since I was 12 or 13. I started off on straight porn to see girls, and I've always liked girls and never wanted anything to do with guys. Always had crushes on women, checked them out, etc. I have never wanted to be with a guy at all.

This changed when I was introduced to gay porn. After a while I got hooked on it and it was my main porn I watched. Still straight porn too, but gay porn was the main. My gay porn addiction has gone on for years and up until this day. I don't think I am gay and still identify as straight, but I've now developed HOCD. I look back on all the things I've done and it scares me.

I've been worried I'm actually bi because I have all these fantasies about sucking dick and being dominated and being a bottom for a guy. After I orgasm, this goes away completely, but when I'm horny I feel like it's what I want. Mind you, this never happened before porn. But this gay porn addiction has lead me to go on grindr and sext with guys and put things in my ass because I was so warped by the porn and I thought it was what I wanted. I honestly feel like such shit because I dont feel like it's who I am. I've always liked women and wanted to be with them and even have a girlfriend right now who I love, but yet I have these fantasies about being dominated by a guy and sucking him off. When I fantasize about the gay stuff it feels so artificial, but for some reason gets me off even quicker than straight fantasies. If someone came up and asked me my orientation I would say straight, but after I all have fantasized about and watched I feel like I cant be. Recently when I first started developing the HOCD, I experimented with the bisexual label on myself, but it just doesnt feel right to me. No offense in any way to and bisexual people out there, but I just dont feel like it's who I really am.

I just wish I couldve never seen porn in the first place and wouldnt be having to deal with this. I just want to live worry-free. I'm in such a confusing spot right now. I should have actually mentioned that for about 3 weeks I have cut out porn and I have been seeing results. My gay fantasies werent as prominent and I've been thinking about women more. But just today, I saw something that lead me back to porn and I got off to it. And what makes it even worse is that I saw bunch of images of dicks and my fantasies jumped all over it and imagined me sucking them and I did get aroused from it. And I saw blowjob scene and my mind was thinking how I wished I was that girl giving the blowjob to that guy, but as soon as I orgasmed, this went away. I just feel so awful for being able to get aroused by dicks and I just feel like I'll never recover or find myself.

I dont really know what else to add but if anyone can give any input or advice, that would be great. Thanks.
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What you went through is just a tolerance and development of more hardcore porn. Your body and sexual desires went from typical puberty desires to not being satisfied with straight porn anymore. Your mind and body got tired and bored of straight porn and wanted something new. What you have isn't being bisexual or gay. Just a fetish you developed. No one can tell you what you are but you. So if you consider yourself bi or gay go ahead. No one cares in 2019. If you want it gone the only way is absent from the entirety of porn. and after a very long time. get with a girl and you'll soon lose the fetish.
 
Deleted Account said:
Hey everyone,

I'm a bit new to this site but I wanted to make this post to get some feedback. I know you guys cant define my sexuality for me but I just wanted your thoughts.

To make this short, I've been addicted to porn since I was 12 or 13. I started off on straight porn to see girls, and I've always liked girls and never wanted anything to do with guys. Always had crushes on women, checked them out, etc. I have never wanted to be with a guy at all.

This changed when I was introduced to gay porn. After a while I got hooked on it and it was my main porn I watched. Still straight porn too, but gay porn was the main. My gay porn addiction has gone on for years and up until this day. I don't think I am gay and still identify as straight, but I've now developed HOCD. I look back on all the things I've done and it scares me.

I've been worried I'm actually bi because I have all these fantasies about sucking dick and being dominated and being a bottom for a guy. After I orgasm, this goes away completely, but when I'm horny I feel like it's what I want. Mind you, this never happened before porn. But this gay porn addiction has lead me to go on grindr and sext with guys and put things in my ass because I was so warped by the porn and I thought it was what I wanted. I honestly feel like such shit because I dont feel like it's who I am. I've always liked women and wanted to be with them and even have a girlfriend right now who I love, but yet I have these fantasies about being dominated by a guy and sucking him off. When I fantasize about the gay stuff it feels so artificial, but for some reason gets me off even quicker than straight fantasies. If someone came up and asked me my orientation I would say straight, but after I all have fantasized about and watched I feel like I cant be. Recently when I first started developing the HOCD, I experimented with the bisexual label on myself, but it just doesnt feel right to me. No offense in any way to and bisexual people out there, but I just dont feel like it's who I really am.

I just wish I couldve never seen porn in the first place and wouldnt be having to deal with this. I just want to live worry-free. I'm in such a confusing spot right now. I should have actually mentioned that for about 3 weeks I have cut out porn and I have been seeing results. My gay fantasies werent as prominent and I've been thinking about women more. But just today, I saw something that lead me back to porn and I got off to it. And what makes it even worse is that I saw bunch of images of dicks and my fantasies jumped all over it and imagined me sucking them and I did get aroused from it. And I saw blowjob scene and my mind was thinking how I wished I was that girl giving the blowjob to that guy, but as soon as I orgasmed, this went away. I just feel so awful for being able to get aroused by dicks and I just feel like I'll never recover or find myself.

I dont really know what else to add but if anyone can give any input or advice, that would be great. Thanks.
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Another thing is if you really want to be with guys. Find a girl who is into the same thing or get with transgenders and go for whatever you want. I am not condemning doing it but it's 2019. Don't be afraid to do what you like. and if you hate it as in truly hate it then seek help. Cause you might have developed a split person disorder. where you feel like you have 2 people or personalities inside you. That requires help.
 
Deleted Account said:
Hey everyone,

I'm a bit new to this site but I wanted to make this post to get some feedback. I know you guys cant define my sexuality for me but I just wanted your thoughts.

To make this short, I've been addicted to porn since I was 12 or 13. I started off on straight porn to see girls, and I've always liked girls and never wanted anything to do with guys. Always had crushes on women, checked them out, etc. I have never wanted to be with a guy at all.

This changed when I was introduced to gay porn. After a while I got hooked on it and it was my main porn I watched. Still straight porn too, but gay porn was the main. My gay porn addiction has gone on for years and up until this day. I don't think I am gay and still identify as straight, but I've now developed HOCD. I look back on all the things I've done and it scares me.

I've been worried I'm actually bi because I have all these fantasies about sucking dick and being dominated and being a bottom for a guy. After I orgasm, this goes away completely, but when I'm horny I feel like it's what I want. Mind you, this never happened before porn. But this gay porn addiction has lead me to go on grindr and sext with guys and put things in my ass because I was so warped by the porn and I thought it was what I wanted. I honestly feel like such shit because I dont feel like it's who I am. I've always liked women and wanted to be with them and even have a girlfriend right now who I love, but yet I have these fantasies about being dominated by a guy and sucking him off. When I fantasize about the gay stuff it feels so artificial, but for some reason gets me off even quicker than straight fantasies. If someone came up and asked me my orientation I would say straight, but after I all have fantasized about and watched I feel like I cant be. Recently when I first started developing the HOCD, I experimented with the bisexual label on myself, but it just doesnt feel right to me. No offense in any way to and bisexual people out there, but I just dont feel like it's who I really am.

I just wish I couldve never seen porn in the first place and wouldnt be having to deal with this. I just want to live worry-free. I'm in such a confusing spot right now. I should have actually mentioned that for about 3 weeks I have cut out porn and I have been seeing results. My gay fantasies werent as prominent and I've been thinking about women more. But just today, I saw something that lead me back to porn and I got off to it. And what makes it even worse is that I saw bunch of images of dicks and my fantasies jumped all over it and imagined me sucking them and I did get aroused from it. And I saw blowjob scene and my mind was thinking how I wished I was that girl giving the blowjob to that guy, but as soon as I orgasmed, this went away. I just feel so awful for being able to get aroused by dicks and I just feel like I'll never recover or find myself.

I dont really know what else to add but if anyone can give any input or advice, that would be great. Thanks.
Click to expand...
What plusscientist said, If you are unsure about going straight to guys, maybe try transgenders as it's less of a change. then if you enjoy it with them move on to guys and be who you want to be. I'll keep saying it but people don't really care if you're bi or gay anymore. For example I'd make jokes to some people how I'm gay or bi and they just don't care anymore. So if you're afraid of just being looked down upon you aren't dude. No one cares like they did back in the 20th century and even early 2000s. Just try out being with guys first. and then after a couple of experiences make a meeting with yourself and decide whether you want to go to guys or not. if not you'll need help from a therapist or just help in general as the fetish won't go away easily.
 
Deleted Account said:
Hey everyone,

I'm a bit new to this site but I wanted to make this post to get some feedback. I know you guys cant define my sexuality for me but I just wanted your thoughts.

To make this short, I've been addicted to porn since I was 12 or 13. I started off on straight porn to see girls, and I've always liked girls and never wanted anything to do with guys. Always had crushes on women, checked them out, etc. I have never wanted to be with a guy at all.

This changed when I was introduced to gay porn. After a while I got hooked on it and it was my main porn I watched. Still straight porn too, but gay porn was the main. My gay porn addiction has gone on for years and up until this day. I don't think I am gay and still identify as straight, but I've now developed HOCD. I look back on all the things I've done and it scares me.

I've been worried I'm actually bi because I have all these fantasies about sucking dick and being dominated and being a bottom for a guy. After I orgasm, this goes away completely, but when I'm horny I feel like it's what I want. Mind you, this never happened before porn. But this gay porn addiction has lead me to go on grindr and sext with guys and put things in my ass because I was so warped by the porn and I thought it was what I wanted. I honestly feel like such shit because I dont feel like it's who I am. I've always liked women and wanted to be with them and even have a girlfriend right now who I love, but yet I have these fantasies about being dominated by a guy and sucking him off. When I fantasize about the gay stuff it feels so artificial, but for some reason gets me off even quicker than straight fantasies. If someone came up and asked me my orientation I would say straight, but after I all have fantasized about and watched I feel like I cant be. Recently when I first started developing the HOCD, I experimented with the bisexual label on myself, but it just doesnt feel right to me. No offense in any way to and bisexual people out there, but I just dont feel like it's who I really am.

I just wish I couldve never seen porn in the first place and wouldnt be having to deal with this. I just want to live worry-free. I'm in such a confusing spot right now. I should have actually mentioned that for about 3 weeks I have cut out porn and I have been seeing results. My gay fantasies werent as prominent and I've been thinking about women more. But just today, I saw something that lead me back to porn and I got off to it. And what makes it even worse is that I saw bunch of images of dicks and my fantasies jumped all over it and imagined me sucking them and I did get aroused from it. And I saw blowjob scene and my mind was thinking how I wished I was that girl giving the blowjob to that guy, but as soon as I orgasmed, this went away. I just feel so awful for being able to get aroused by dicks and I just feel like I'll never recover or find myself.

I dont really know what else to add but if anyone can give any input or advice, that would be great. Thanks.
Click to expand...
I also have your issue but with me it's a fetish I hate. Cause it's not who I want to be. I have goals that show I want to be straight. Or just neutral in general as I have a problem with sexual stuff in general. I hate it.
 
bken said:
Unfortunately it seems the account was deleted, I might have shared some thoughts as I went through the same thing. I'm sure you deleted it out of shame, confusion and what not. I recognize that. You watch porn and while doing it, it can be pretty exciting to confirm supposed bisexuality or homosexuality. But then when you're done, you feel absolutely repulsed. Classical conditioning/escalation.

If somehow you are still returning, rest assured you definitely have escalation induced hocd. I mean, a real gay person will feel attracted to the same gender aside from looking at porn. It's a type of escalation that is hard to put into words but resembles sissy fetish. Basically after a while your brain can no longer process the excitement of seeing women doing certain sexual stuff to men and it will in some very weird way start thinking that what it sees the women do is more fun than imagining being the man. This is pure escalation. It is absolutely messed up and one of the worst fetishes you can get. It is also one of the most exciting ones since it involves a lot of shock and perversion.

I have been porn free for nearly two years and it's only recently that I've been able to clearly see how big of a lie it really is. I mean I'd even date men as I was still heavily addicted and always ran away before anything happened as I felt so grossed out and could tell it wasn't what I wanted and that it was the porn messing with my head. But I kept having those fantasies. Long story short one day I decided to put another man's dong in my mouth and it repulsed me so much I thought I knew for sure. Next day, same old fantasies. That is what porn is capable of. It will mess up your mind if you let it. I was in that boat once, I no longer think of shirtless men with six packs as what I want and all of my wet dreams have been about women, you can't even begin to understand how much of a relief that has been. I had a serious porn addiction for the better part of a decade and slowly but surely this type of fetish can creep up on you. Everyone will at some point get into some sort of fetish because of the escalation involved and for some guys like us this sissy/gay type of thing just happens to be what the brain figures is the most exciting. It's nothing to be ashamed of but at the same time it is, it can create a lot of confusion and start messing with your head to the point of generating obsessions. The utmost important thing you must do is to stop watching porn. If you ever want to do away with this fetish, you need to stop masturbating to porn. Even then it will take years to slowly, slowly return to baseline arousal.

I'm sure any real gay person will be able to confirm being gay involves a heck of a lot more than jerking off to other men. I mean obviously they will do this but they won't be ashamed because of it let alone feel real life attraction towards women. It can be so utterly confusing for a whole bunch of reasons but at the end of the day it's really simple. You aren't meant to watch porn and it's only when you stop and listen to your heart that the truth will set you free. If you feel no sexual attraction towards men in real life and don't spend days thinking about one particular gay the way you do about women, you can't be bi. Fantasy does strange things. Did you know the most common sexual fantasy women have involves lesbian sex and rape? Somehow what we want the least in real life, often can be the most exciting in fantasy. These fetishes they just creep up on you. That's just what porn does, countless stories of men escalating into sissy or transgender fetish.

Anyway hope it helps man and just remember that you won't be able to overcome without tackling the root cause which most definitely is your porn consumption. That is what is feeding your doubts, confusion and obsessions.
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Hi bken, thank you for that reply. I was wondering how I can personal message you as well and ask you about something as well. Hope you recovery is still going good.
 
I've had a similar experience with porn, however mine differs a little. I started looking at porn when I was twelve, and then it was only straight porn. Three to four years later, gay porn cropped up and I began to have doubts on my sexuality. These doubts escalated until I accepted that I was gay. HOWEVER, I rarely looked at gay porn in general, and my porn addiction still lies with primarily straight pornography, even though I am gay. As I usually never watch gay porn, when I do I don't feel the same need I feel when I watch other pornography, nor do I really feel shame. If you feel shameful and disgusted after watching gay/bi pornography, chances are it is addiction related.
 
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