Am I fine?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Pathofsuccess_1, Feb 18, 2020.

  1. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    So yesterday I had a binge and I was in that binge mentality and I knew I had to break away from it and get on with my nofap streak because that was what was important.

    Today is day 1 and I started my streak last night at midnight.

    During the night I’ve been having these ocd thoughts (which apparently are pretty common) about if I had relapsed or not, the thoughts tried to get me to relapse. I didn’t though but there were a few times I contemplated it. I knew I wasn’t going to and I kept having the thoughts pop into my head like flashbacks and that because I was trying to go to bed.

    I feel like I have the right mentality now and I am on with my streak and ready.

    Even though I didn’t PMO. I know it may be obvious. But did the thoughts about doing it again effect my reboot? Will they go away eventually? It’s only the first day. Let me know what you guys think. Thanks.
     
  2. Shadow_Monk

    Shadow_Monk Fapstronaut

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    You'll be fine. Everything affects your reboot, thoughts, actions, etc. - some for the better, some not. But nothing RUINS a reboot unless you quit. It does get better over time, and the first few days are the worst. Sounds like you might have some anxiety over this, and that's probably going to make it harder to succeed. If you have nervous energy, find an outlet for it - work out, engage in a hobby, connect with nature - whatever helps you relax and unwind. Without having PMO as a crutch to hide your anxiety behind, it will feel overwhelming until you find healthy ways of dealing with it.
     
  3. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    Your absolutely right. That is exactly what I’m experiencing. The anxiety. I’ve been binging for 12 days pretty much because of this ocd anxiety after relapse. It’s so strange and evil how pmo makes you feel after relapse. I just got to break from this cycle of relapse anxiety and make it past the first few days.

    also, while I’m at it, I have a question that’s been bugging me related to the ocd.


    I don’t mean to be graphic, but it’s just for understanding.

    Let’s say while reaching o in relapse. Does it matter if I kept stroking one or two times after the orgasm?

    I had this bugging thought that your streak starts right after o and anything after is considered a relapse.

    I know for a fact that nobody thinks of it that deeply and it’s most likely just my anxiety trying to control me. But is that correct ?

    Again, sorry for the word choice, it’s the only ones I could use for understanding the situation, thanks.
     
  4. Shadow_Monk

    Shadow_Monk Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, that's anxiety talking.

    Your streak ends when you say it does. It does not matter what anybody else thinks or says - this reboot is YOURS, you and only you decide when it starts and stops. For me, my streak stops as soon as I can't honestly say that I had no P, P-subs, or M all day (I'm married, so O with my partner is ok for my reboot.) You have to set your own boundaries. And you can cheat if you want to and rack up +100 days on a counter - but if you do, you're really only cheating yourself.

    The only way out is through, my brother. Anxiety sucks. Bad. But it sucks a lot less than being a secret porn addict which will eventually screw up every aspect of your life. Get on youtube and find a couple of short guided meditations. Relax a little bit or you're going to find it almost impossible to break this cycle. Do you have a PMO goal already? If not, how about shooting for 24 hours no P, M, or O? Get a win under your belt and you'll start feeling a little better.
     
    thespo and Pathofsuccess_1 like this.
  5. Pretty much what @Shadow_Monk said.

    A relapse is something that happens in your brain due to sexual activity, specifically porn and masturbation. It's not measured to the microsecond — biology isn't that accurate!

    If you do masturbate to orgasm, finish off your orgasm properly so that you aren't left on edge. It's not a thing that you measure, but a thing that you feel, so stroke until you are properly satisfied, however many extra strokes it takes.

    Once you've finished and cleaned up, look at the time, and take it from there.

    Obsessing to the finest detail about a process that is inherently messy and approximate will drive you crazy and make you more stressed. Being stressed makes you more likely to succumb. So, don't worry about it. No one is going to come over to your house and mark you — "You only get 30% because you didn't get the seconds right!" :D

    What you need to do is work most at quitting porn, and then at your hard reboot. It does get easier with time, so if you want to obsess, if you have OCD or something, find a healthy passion or hobby and obsess over that! Make your obsession work for you instead of against you.
     
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  6. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    I agree, relapse is more mental. Most relapses happen after you've already decided you're going to relapse.
    Keep stroking to get everything out and the sexual feeling is killed, then you're ready to start over.
     
    Pathofsuccess_1 likes this.
  7. Relapse is physical in the sense that PMO messes up the receptors in your brain. When you do a hard reboot, your brain resets those sensors, and being physical is why it takes time.
     
  8. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    Let’s say I don’t mean to see something but I looked on purpose. I almost got pleasure out of it, (I’m not sure if it was placebo or not) but I saw a woman’s cartoon face that was in an ad pop up and I tried getting rid of it but then I took a glance. Does this type of stuff count. I’m not sure if the glance was on purpose.

    I felt a little pleasure from it and it gave me a little bit of urges.
     
  9. thespo

    thespo Fapstronaut

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    Personally, I think these things can count If you want them to. This is your journey and only you know your problem areas. It wouldn’t count for me because that isn’t specifically the area I am working on. Good luck brotha.
     
  10. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    Shit you really think that’s a relapse? I know for a fact I stopped myself the best I could and I don’t even really know if it was on purpose. I just happened to look and got pleasure.

    I stopped myself from doing a lot. I moved on from the pic completely.

    Have you ever done this? I don’t think I’m going to count it as a relapse. I’ve worked way too hard, and not to justify anything, I just honestly don’t think it was close to a full blown relapse.
     
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  11. thespo

    thespo Fapstronaut

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    I do not think it’s a relapse. I think you are being overly cautious. I think the urges are common, especially in the early stages but If you refrained from PMO, I think that’s a success.
     
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  12. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the clarification, so as long as I don’t intentionally look stuff up and as long as I don’t watch porn, masturbate, or orgasm?
     
  13. thespo

    thespo Fapstronaut

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    What’s your end goal? Mine is no PM and only O with My girl. My goal is also to stop looking at all the ass in the gym but I am a man, it’s human nature. As long as your mind is right and you are making progress and strides in the right direction, you are on the path to success.
     
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  14. AntiqueRevolverGuy

    AntiqueRevolverGuy Fapstronaut

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    As long as you don't Masturbate, Porn and then to Orgasm, you're fine.
    A little picture that gives you some enjoyment in the slight moment is fine, because the way our emotions react to things isn't our choice. It's our bodies message to our brain that we like it. We have no control over that, but we have control over how we act on it. So if you see something pop up, and you stared for a moment or two, dont' worry, as long as you closed it and went on with your day.
    For me, I have a minute role. If I'm indulging in any of these behaviors for more than a minute, then I've already done enough damage to my reboot path and it's already a relapse.
     
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  15. Pathofsuccess_1

    Pathofsuccess_1 Fapstronaut

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    Ill make mine the 5 second rule.
     
  16. That brief look wouldn't have changed anything in your brain. There's no relapse. If, on the other hand, you started to drool over it and then allowed it to trigger you, that would have been different.

    Don't worry about it.
     
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